serious issues regarding dating, sex and relationships

SBSpIMuleX

im feeling brave and will make this post as some of you may offer me advice or help or just nice comments to support me or praise me for saying this sort of publically, im now 40 and known im gay ever since school, had a few 1 off experiences but never actually had a boyfreind, and not had any form of contact what so ever not even as much as a hug from a guy or lad for 9 years now, parents hate the idea of me being gay to the extent that dad wrote me out of his will, and will not allow me to bring any "freinds" to the house, ive more or less been a total loner regarding any form of dating or sex or relationship for 11 years now and as mentioned above have had a kiss and hug a few times up untill 9 years ago, i even lie about freinds or relationships or boyfreinds or love intrests to people i talk to or the few freinds ive made or that have come and gone, dunno if its to make me look good or just to fit in or be abled to talk about it,  its killing me inside that ive been a loner for so long and not even had a hug or kiss for 9 years or so, not saying im ready or suitable for a partner or boyfreind as such with all my issues and all im going thru but a nice guy or lad as ive always liked younger to meet or chat with or hug or kiss now and again would of been amazing, but there we go, im still going so i win i guess

SBSpIMuleX

at the same time things are still great at home as i still live with my parents and we are all there for each otherso there are no real lissues at home so please nobody get worried or concerned about any issues as there are no issues at all at home or in my life, i was just saying how it is for me and my feelings and how i live my life, so there is no need to be concerned or no need to inform anybody, i just felt this is a safe place to off load my feelings and part of my complicated life

Leo_Aces

Hello @SBSpIMuleX, first of all, I just want to acknowledge your bravery in sharing this.

Im very sorry to hear that your parents are not accepting of your sexuality. Have you considered joining any LGBTQI+ support groups? They can be a great place to connect with others who have similar experiences. 

I’m sorry that you are really missing that physical connect with somebody. With regards to finding a boyfriend or partner, have you considered joining any social clubs or online dating sites ?

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/information-and-resources/coming-out

Stonewall is quite a good place to find information and support about coming out 

SBSpIMuleX

used to attend a support group in weymouth but was only a handful of older people and never really got anything usefull out of it and as im in rural dorset the weymouth group was 2 bus trips each way to get too totalling 1 hour and 30 mins each way, and there is no other groups or anything regarding lgbt close to me so cant attend any group or support like that and im not doing online dating as had a bad experience when i tried this is my 20's and got beaten up, but thanks for your kind reply and support, i will give that site a look at though for advice and help

mossycow

Hi there,

Didn't want dead and just naff off though I'm not a professional. 

Sounds hard. Specially when you said your parents don't really support you in that respect. 

Have you any girl friends or none sexual people in your life who could help....

Im assuming you've thought about that mind. But so maybe you could make an initial connection online and meet up more safely. 

Wonder if there are any groups that could help with that nearer you 🤔 

But wow. I won't through pity at you , you don't need that, but wow.

Do you want a relationship to go with the sex? (serious question.... And no judgement either way). 

You've been brave. Sounds like you've a lot going for you 

Xx

How's it going?