I need to just lay it all out

jamrumples

I’m frightened, like beyond. The cost of living has me so scared. 

Benefits aren’t cutting it, but me working is just also I’m really struggling to see how it could ever work for me. 

I’m in my 30’s, I have no qualifications,  very limited work experience. I’ve worked in retail and in the care sector for a small time only. 

I’ve been out of work for near on 7 years now. I couldn’t return to retail, I cannot CANNOT have a job working around males. The trauma this will cause me is, I just can’t but I’m not qualified in anything to get myself a job in a female dominated area of work. 

I’m in bits, I’ve been sat thinking about how this is my life. How is this all I’ve achieved. How and where and why did it all go SO wrong.  

If I’m to go back to work will they take into consideration that I cannot handle being around makes or am I just to have yet another emotional breakdown? 

Please somebody help me. How do I go on? What do I do? 

Biblioklept

I don't think many employers would agree to you not ever being around males which is a shame  

Have you checked you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to and whether any of your bills could be changed to cheaper tariffs? There are some that are exclusively for people receiving benefits like I think BT has one and water things. 

Could you look for work from home jobs so if you have to interact with any males it is at least at a distance? And have you had any counselling?  

ShirleyW

So sorry to hear of your problems. 

Do you have any skills making things?  Sewing, knitting, woodwork or other crafts?  Could you make and sell stuff online?

Do you feel able to volunteer for any women's refuge type organisations?  They would certainly understand your fears.  Volunteering may help you to increase your skills and could possibly lead to a job in one of these types of organisations. 

Do you like reading or writing?  Could you be a proof reader or an author?

You've obviously been through some trauma.   As @Biblioklept says, I  hope you've had some counselling. 

Alex_Alumni

Hello @jamrumples and thanks for reaching out today, I can hear how distressed you're feeling about the cost of living, and finding work you'll feel comfortable with.

You certainly haven't gone wrong at all, and I'm sure you're not alone in feeling this way, and talking about it is a positive step. I can see our members have shared some very helpful suggestions about volunteering, and counselling as well. 

Can I ask if your GP is aware of how all this is impacting on your mental health, and whether they might be able to support you? Do you feel like you're getting enough support day to day?

I wonder do you know about Scope's Employment Support Services? All of our employment support services are designed for working-age disabled people, so I'd encourage you to see if we can help. 

If you're looking for professional advice local to you, try searching Advice Local under the 'employment' section. 

You'd be welcome to give the Scope Helpline a call as well, if you'd like to run through everything with one of our advisers.

If you're looking for practical advice to help with the cost of living, Scope's Disability Energy Support Service offers free energy and water advice, and there's Mental Health and Money Advice too. 

I hope that's useful for you, and if you've still got questions or feel we can help further, please do say. We'll do our best to support you

Alex