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Rotting

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Good morning,

I hope you’re all well, happy Sunday to you.

Not coping at all this morning, really need some support, feeling much worse.

Didn’t sleep at all last night, sat up wasting light, paralysed in unwanted thoughts and the procrastination as usual.
I dragged myself to the unmade bed at around 5am fell asleep &!then only 

Opened blinds in bedroom and ,of the flat, 

I have no money to spare but 

The ******* downstairs seems to know I’m up and has resumed with the banging non stop

I got up to open blinds at around 8:55, ( believe me when I tell you even those seemingly second nature activities are a real challenge for me right now especially with the discomfort as well as the state of the flat and having no freedom to live in peace.

I am struggling to move and even through headphones I can hear the vile noises as well as telephone conversations .

Why does what I do or don’t do have anything to do with them?

Are they paying my bills?
Are they providing  any support?
Are they my caregivers?
Are they superior?


I’ve tried taking recordings but  no real avail as it doesn’t pick up nearly as much as what I can hear.

I’ve installed the noise app, I use my phones recorder and I write logs what more can I do with one device?


It’s now 10:15
I’ve been trying to get up from bed and get some personal tasks done but 

He’s on the phone right now to someone saying ‘that Indian is still doing f*** all’ and prior to this he was repeatedly banging on the ceiling non stop.

I can’t live like this. Who does this person think he is to torment another council flat tenant and in such a bad manner?


anywya right now even through the abuse I’m going to attempt to once and for all declutter this whole living space because I deserve at least the space to walk and live .

Once again if my financial situation was miles better I’d move in a flash but I am quite literally one step above homelessness in fact I will say in many respects im worse off tan most homeless street beggars who get more help than me as a single person out of work , job seeking with multiple health issues, no support and on a singular benefit of UC only with apparently no eligibility for anything else!


Will this ordeal ever end?

right now I’m setting a 2 hour timer and attempting to declutter this unsightly flat preferably before noon somehow , intensively 



I wish I would word better just how distraught I am feeling but to it it shortly I am n coping and wish to escape far away from this awful hell! 


Comments

  • ResilientNeighbour7
    ResilientNeighbour7 Posts: 198 Connected
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    Ps I can’t find any positives nor humour in this psycho’s behaviour and right now I’m not able to record as I’m trying to focus on my cleaning whilst wearing earphones playing some affirmations and trying to clean my disaster zone of a living space and I want to get it done TODAY as it’s already delayed 
    i also need people to believe the ongoing noise
    i feel like screaming not to mention killing myself but if the people with decision making authorities have shown such a lack of care what more can I do?
    I deserve to live in safety and harmony!

    kooks like I’ll have to sacrifice listening to affirmations and podcasts and music etc to try and audio capture what the downstairs, racist,noisy, pathetic, demonic, idiotic scum bag is doing
    lord help me 
  • Oxonlady
    Oxonlady Scope Member Posts: 566 Pioneering
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    Hi @ResilientNeighbour7 ,I'm sorry to hear that you have multiple challenges.
    The one obvious thing, to begin with, is not to set your timer to declutter your flat in two hours. That's just putting more pressure on you. It's best to tackle one small area at a time. This is more achievable and therefore more satisfying. 
    Second, do you have a supportive GP? You may like to ask to be referred for counselling.
    Third, your local Council should have a department that offers advice on benefits, they can advise you on what you can claim. 
    Fourth, if I were you, I would totally ignore your neighbour! I know that it won't be easy. But the more you get upset by his behaviour, the more he'll continue to upset you. It's actually none of his business what you do. It's your life, you are entitled to live it as you wish. He doesn't have the right to bully you. So please try to ignore him.

    In my Borough (London), there's a women's centre who offer support and advice, especially for Asian women. Is there anything like that available in your area?

    I'm sorry I can't offer you any more help. All I can say is look after yourself, sleep and rest if you need to and ignore unhelpful people. They are not more important than you, even if they like to think so!
    I hope you can find some support in your community. Maybe speak to one of your local Councillors.
    Take care. 
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,561 Championing
    edited November 2022
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    Hello @ResilientNeighbour7

    I'd echo the advice from @Oxonlady there's no need to set a timer to de clutter your flat, as more pressure and tension is not what you need. I'm sorry things are getting too much this weekend. 

    If you'd like someone to listen to you, and not to judge then you can call Samaritans on 116 123 or text "SHOUT" to 85258 for support.

    If there's any community centre's close to you they may be able to offer support too. 


    Sometimes all we need to do is vent and get things off our chest, but if at any point you feel like you're in danger or unsafe, then please call 999 right away. 

    I'll be sending an email from community@scope.org.uk a little later on, so keep an eye out for it, and look after yourself today.
    Online Community Coordinator
    Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now.
  • ResilientNeighbour7
    ResilientNeighbour7 Posts: 198 Connected
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    I will ignore and I’ve extended the timer because i still need to get it done today but perhaps it will take me into the evening but it will get done 👍
  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,561 Championing
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    That's good @ResilientNeighbour7, and even if you don't finish it today, there's always tomorrow too :) 
    Online Community Coordinator
    Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now.
  • Ollyoyster
    Ollyoyster Community member Posts: 348 Empowering
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    Stay strong ❤️,,  
  • Grinchy
    Grinchy Community member Posts: 1,932 Championing
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    sorry your going through that, take care, just sending positivity your way 
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