Autistic teen .....HELP!!!!

samp01

Hi All, I'm just wondering if anyone knows of any groups or books that can offer advice for parents of teenage autistic girls?. My daughter is 14 and i just don't recognise her anymore and to be honest I just want to know if this is 'normal' and how to support her the best I can. Thanks in advance 🙂

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @samp01

I would say it actually is normal, Autism or no Autism, for a 14-year-old girl to change from how you've known them. It's actually quite common. I don't have children myself, but I am a godmother and remember the teenage years for them well. I would arm yourself with her favourite snacks and be prepared to drop everything at a moment's notice to listen. 

There's a brilliant organisation called the National Autistic Society which has lots of advice and support. As well as the Autistic Girls Network, they have a great book recommendation list.

I hope this helps  

Biblioklept

Hi @samp01 I'm an autistic woman but wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. However I remember my teenage years well - I was a total nightmare and it was a really really hard time for me. I felt like I was being torn apart inside and couldn't control myself very well. 
Lots of girls don't tend to get diagnosed until teenage years and apparently the influx of hormones mixed with higher demands on older children (managing school, timetables, friendships, changes to body) can make it harder to mask, making us seem "more autistic".

Plus being a teenager generally sucks and they're all monsters! lol

My top tips would be:
Meet anger with kindness. She doesn't know why she's so frustrated and the two of you getting into an argument about tone, attitude etc, will make it worse not better. I promise you, from my own experience, she won't mean it. I was always being told my 'tone' was off or I was shouting and it was very confusing as I really didn't realise I was. 
Cut back on any extra demands: bad behaviour is usually a sign that something is wrong or they want more time and attention.