Just had my PIP tribunal, and would like to vent about the whole process.
Hi everyone. I'm a new user, but have been looking through this forum a lot recently, in the run up to my PIP tribunal hearing. The hearing was today, it was a very stressful situation and I just feel deflated now. Admittedly, I gave up on the idea of getting PIP before I got the tribunal date through, so I didn't expect to be so affected by it.
I was diagnosed with severe ADHD in August 2021. The assessing nurse also suspected that I am autistic. Due to a number of mishandlings by the a number of people (the assessing nurse, my local health authority) my diagnosis was not put on my medical record and I was not able to start treatment. I was placed back on the assessment waiting list, despite being able to provide the letters I had been sent confirming my diagnosis and the suggested treatment. I suffered more and more between September 2021 and December 2021 and became suicidal. Only then was I actually listened to and started on medication.
I had regular meetings with a CPN (clinical psychiatric nurse) and she advised me in January to apply for PIP. So I did, and I scored 4 points in Daily Living and 0 in mobility. I asked for Mandatory Reconsideration and nothing changed. So I asked to take the appeal to tribunal. When I got my bundle through with notes from my health consultation, I was shocked and disheartened at what they'd written about me. So much emphasis put on the fact that I was working 5 days a week, the fact that I could drive to work and the fact that I was "well-kempt and average build". And again today at the tribunal, so much focus on me working (I no longer work 5 days a week), me driving (I barely drive any more) and the fact that I went on holiday with some friends over summer (I had to tell them this because I was out of the country during my appeal window and had to tell them why it was late).
It feels so unfair. I live alone, I rent my flat from my mum. She used redundancy money and her pension to buy a small flat to stop me becoming homeless in summer 2021 after months of flat-hunting, and she now relies on me paying rent to supplement her wages to look after herself and my younger sisters. Working full-time was hell for me, I had to get several sick lines (which I told the assessors about), I would cry after work and in the bathroom during my shifts and I was exhausted all the time. Because I worked in food preparation, I had to wash daily and wear clean clothes, and that was used against me. I was terrified of losing my only source of income, I had to follow those rules. My work was less than a 10 minute drive from my work, right by my vets so I knew the route well, and I hated driving but there were no buses I could get there, and I finished my shift at midnight so trains wouldn't be on when I finished.
I looked "well-kempt" at my consultation because I was wearing casual clothes?? Is it not a societal rule to put on clothes to leave the house? Should I have gone in my pyjamas? The "normal build" comment was incredibly inappropriate. I told them I eat one meal a day at most (dinner that my partner comes over and makes for me, I don't eat anything else in a day), I lost almost 30kgs of weight in under a year because I stopped eating, and I don't experience hunger. I see a dietician and have been prescribed supplements because I'm not eating. And when I mentioned my partner the doctor present started grilling me on how we met (online), where we met up in person for the first time (a public place because I didn't fancy being possibly murdered by a near stranger at his flat or mine).
I grew up caring for my disabled father, from the age of 12 until he died just before I was 24. It has been ingrained in me not to ask for help, not to show when I'm suffering, to do things I don't want to for other people, because I was the oldest child. I had to look after everyone, I couldn't be a burden. I can put on a brave face, I can act almost normal when I really have to, but it hurts me and I suffer and struggle. I tried to tell them this, I don't think they cared. I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going to get anything from these people, but to be treated so inhumanely by everyone except the judge is just too much.
Anyway, I'm sorry for posting such a big rant. I appreciate it if anyone reads it, I am just very tired and burnt out.
