How is your day going?

Oh I'm not clever at all @Amberpearl, I was just very passionate to learn after my previous 'corporate' career of 20yrs. I did the holistic courses over c 6 years in total including at night school. I was never naturally academic (only CSEs/poor grades at school 🤭). I had amazing support including financial off my employers in the City to complete my personnel management IPD but hever foubd it easy. I was very lucky worked for the loveliest people even though the environments were not for the feint-hearted. I'm proud but just really for keeping my own integrity/values and caring, including in my HR career. I shouldn't really have fitted in the city but somehow I did.

Don't know quite how I got through my nurse training, 3 part time jobs in 2nd and 3rd year, 3 dogs to look after, looked after my lovely mum a lot (3 cancers and 2 dementias 💔) and studied top up modules for the degree. I/my life was a whirlwind. I miss that. Even gets to me saying that, so very different now and the worry re Green Paper.

You've got a busy day tomorrow, I'd be as kind to yourself as possible for today and rest as much as you can, conserve your energy for tomorrow 😊.

I'm not really retired but I dont work, I'm 62 and was off sick from my nursing job 22 times in 2 years plus all 8 weeks holiday I was ill but they allowed me to call it holiday to reduce my ever-increasing sick time (I didn't know for sure then that I had Long Covid). Anyway lost 2 jobs and 30 diagnoses later I'm not well enough so I'm on benefits (UC/LCWRA and PIP standard daily living). I was off ill for 3 days in 20 years in my previous career, sad really.

Sorry, I can't half go off on a tangent!! I hope you have a relaxing afternoon, you've been through the mill this last few months really. Take time to really look after yourself whilst enjoying the love of your little cats 🫂 xx

@Amberpearl and @Catherine21 I never had a Sindy doll, had a Tressy doll, it's hair you could pull or press a button and it would become very long hair. I cut it thinking it would grow back or tgere was more hair inside 🤨🙄 fgs 🤣🤣😪 I was very young 🫠😁😂 xx

So was most of your adult life outside of Sunderland and you went their to care for your dad? I'm sorry you lost your dad around Christmas time that's especially sad. Every year I put my tree up and every year I have a little cry while I'm doing it 🙄🙄 for my parents and my dogs that have gone. I basically have a little wallow and play the music they liked and candles lit. I have some of their decorations too so it's poignant.

I'm very sorry you lost your dear friend that's so tragic, so young and sudden, and all the years you knew him, that's a big loss; friendships like that don't come along often in life and can't be replaced as they're a part of your life's journey - you must have known him from c your late 30's maybe so a big part of your life.

Oh my word, 3 little baby girls. That's very special, do you see them on video phone/WhatsApp?

I often think if I won the lottery I'd get a driver/car, a chauffeur basically, to take me wherever I want to go at short notice too when I'm well enough, to be at my beck and call ha ha. I'd get in touch with Scope and get the same for you. I daydream too often about things like that ha ha. In the meantime, even just being able to get on a train would do!!

I'm trying to get a bit more of a structure in my days, I just think it will help a bit. I'm not sure what that looks like exactly yet but it's my immediate/short term plan. I have c-ptsd because of DV too so can relate and I'm sorry you suffer. I remind myself sometimes of a line from one of my favourite films, 'Papillon', (the old one with Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman) where McQueen says from his gaol cell, 'I'm still here you b's'.... can't say the word on here, you might get my drift.

I've gone to bed now, in the mornings it helps when I say to the dogs we're going to have an amazing day today....(they like the word amazing especially how I emphasise it 😅🤣), it does seem to help get the day off to a good start.

I hope your appointments go well tomorrow Amberpearl and that there's reasonable weather up there while you're out and about. Keep strong - you are strong BTW - a survivor and I hope you, like myself, start to thrive too 🫂 xx

I'm sorry @Amberpearl and I do get it, the mental scars remain, I've stayed on my own from choice for 24 years now. I hope for you that with improvements/stability with your health, you will get inner peace over time. You deserve that. Enjoy your film, its a good one 😊.

You're a good, kind soul caring for your dad like that.

I'll tell you a little story tomorrow about the film, 'The woman in a dressing gown', I think 1959. It's a bit boring though (the film and my story but it's quite sweet too).

I hope you sleep well tonight. You deserve that too. Put any worries to one side and be kind; to yourself. Nite nite 😴 🫂 xx

Morning everyone!

Hope your appointments go well today @Amberpearl ☺️