How is your day going?

You sound clever to me

I'm on the same benefits as you are

The money is poor

I get so lonely

I've loved animals all my life

I'm an only child and was always lonely

Lost my mum to heart disease and dad to dementia

I only ever worked in animals then double glazing done part time shop work and care homes

I was an amateur jockey in my hey say and worked at 4 racing stables

Had my family, 2 divorces 3 daughters 3 gran daughters 2 grand sons later I ended up in Sunderland caring fir dad

He died from alzheimer's in 2016 Christmas too

That's really interesting to read what you've done @Amberpearl , we've a lot in common ! I loved travel and photography. And animals most of all. Although I was scared of horses for years 🙄but took up riding in my late 30's after my boss let me go to his livery to ride his horses one was 17 hands and I took to it and loved it/went to learn but can't do that now.

And wow, what an amazing job to be a jockey, being so close to horses every day it's a dream job really. All our experiences makes us who we are now and our present circumstances cannot take all that richness of our life, away from us.

I'm still trying to find more joy (and less worry!) in my much changed life. I'm so grateful and happy every day though for my dogs. I watch everything travel related on tv and music, I miss going to concerts and theatre but at least I've got the best seat in the house ! 😊. I'm hoping my mobility improves and need to do more to try and make that happen.

Are your children and grandchildren near you? It's lovely that you made a family as well of course as your little cat family.

No matter how much we love our animals it's still a challenge dealing with our life/world being smaller and the limitations that our health brings. I'm not giving up on the idea that things can still improve and our lives can be fuller and bring even more joy again. I'm optimistic about that for the most part. And it's not surprising to have anxiety, whether it's around health issues or finances. As things get more stable for you with your new medications I hope your spirits will begin to lift then and your anxiety might reduce so you can feel free-er and more at one with everything. When that happens it can give hope and the impetus for change and better days.

And yes, I know of David Icke, can recall him on 'Wogan' years ago but also the controversy around Covid, can't say I'm a fan though.

It's been lovely chatting with you Amberpearl. I was sorting through photos earlier today, found a load I've not seen for years, a lot of my lovely mum and dad so lit some candles for them. 25 years since dad passed (heart disease) and mum just 2.5 years ago (Alzheimer's and cancer). Will always miss them but so much love still and proud of them ❤️. You take good care of yourself Amberpearl. Hugs to you and the very warmest of wishes xx

Aw your so kind

I too love music

Long time since I went to a concert sadly

I can listen on YouTube

Animal s treat you better than people

Ajways had a manajorie of pets when I was a child

My. Mum also died 25 years ago dad 9 this Christmas

Seems like yesterday

I. Had another online freind I found though a music forum long time ago, although miles away he was the kindest young man I knew

We chatted several times a day

I. Knew him 15 years, sadly on 29 Nov 2019 he died. Was only 38

Thw day before he messaged me to say he had had a heart attack and haf 6 stents put in and was sent home to recover

Sadly I found his obituary

He died 1 hourm after I messaged him

Very sad

He was one of very few freinds

No my kids not that close by

Morgan is the nearest 33 miles away from me

The other 2 live 15 m from each other, but 150 miles away from me sadly

All 3 have new baby girls, 1 is 9 months, born at 27 weeks, 1 is 6 months born 31 weeks other 8 weeks born 40 weeks

I have no transport not much money so don't see them often

My anxiety and ptsd flares up too due to 15 years of domestic violence

So was most of your adult life outside of Sunderland and you went their to care for your dad? I'm sorry you lost your dad around Christmas time that's especially sad. Every year I put my tree up and every year I have a little cry while I'm doing it 🙄🙄 for my parents and my dogs that have gone. I basically have a little wallow and play the music they liked and candles lit. I have some of their decorations too so it's poignant.

I'm very sorry you lost your dear friend that's so tragic, so young and sudden, and all the years you knew him, that's a big loss; friendships like that don't come along often in life and can't be replaced as they're a part of your life's journey - you must have known him from c your late 30's maybe so a big part of your life.

Oh my word, 3 little baby girls. That's very special, do you see them on video phone/WhatsApp?

I often think if I won the lottery I'd get a driver/car, a chauffeur basically, to take me wherever I want to go at short notice too when I'm well enough, to be at my beck and call ha ha. I'd get in touch with Scope and get the same for you. I daydream too often about things like that ha ha. In the meantime, even just being able to get on a train would do!!

I'm trying to get a bit more of a structure in my days, I just think it will help a bit. I'm not sure what that looks like exactly yet but it's my immediate/short term plan. I have c-ptsd because of DV too so can relate and I'm sorry you suffer. I remind myself sometimes of a line from one of my favourite films, 'Papillon', (the old one with Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman) where McQueen says from his gaol cell, 'I'm still here you b's'.... can't say the word on here, you might get my drift.

I've gone to bed now, in the mornings it helps when I say to the dogs we're going to have an amazing day today....(they like the word amazing especially how I emphasise it 😅🤣), it does seem to help get the day off to a good start.

I hope your appointments go well tomorrow Amberpearl and that there's reasonable weather up there while you're out and about. Keep strong - you are strong BTW - a survivor and I hope you, like myself, start to thrive too 🫂 xx

I'm sorry @Amberpearl and I do get it, the mental scars remain, I've stayed on my own from choice for 24 years now. I hope for you that with improvements/stability with your health, you will get inner peace over time. You deserve that. Enjoy your film, its a good one 😊.

You're a good, kind soul caring for your dad like that.

I'll tell you a little story tomorrow about the film, 'The woman in a dressing gown', I think 1959. It's a bit boring though (the film and my story but it's quite sweet too).

I hope you sleep well tonight. You deserve that too. Put any worries to one side and be kind; to yourself. Nite nite 😴 🫂 xx

It's really scary living alone, miss my dad. I know he had dementia but he was still company

That's why I have cats

Morning all.

Mr Teigr is taking Apixaban @Amberpearl

My first appointment is 12 20 rheumatology

Then chiropodist at 4 30

Thank you @Bluebell21