How is your day going?
Comments
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Good morning everyone.
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good morning … very anxious as usual but will try to enjoy my day… in an hour or so i will have to go out and back home maybe by 2.30 pm.. and i hope to enjoy my Wednesday stuff. but i am really anxious. till later.
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Morning all
I have to go out and buy a new microwave later as my other one packed up yesterday.
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I know the feeling. Kettle and toaster packed up, and now tumble dryer screaming like a banshee!
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@Schildpad 'Garden' is a stretch, it's just a patch of grass.
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In all honesty today I’m struggling, feel kicked in, want to cry, just want to curl up in a ball and never uncurl again. I’ve just had a phone meeting with a dr from the mental health team and it’s just completely wiped every ounce of energy out of me both mentally and physically. I just told him about my absolute fight to be heard, to get the right help and support and how severely lacking it is and how shocking a time I’ve had just trying to get my voice heard the last five years. Living with BPD, ADHD, Autism, Depression and Anxiety then chuck in multiple physical health conditions means every second of the day is a fight to survive. 😢
I did restart counselling again last week, only to have the rug pulled on Monday as they couldn’t understand why I was with there service due me being under secondary care, but the counsellor said after talking to her supervisor that they both agreed due to my BPD, being under secondary care and the complex situation I’m in that there not the right service for me at this time, of which I agreed.
Speaking to the Dr today and I’ve got so emotional, angry, worked up, struggled to get my words out and couldn’t put things into perspective.
He suggested that I ring a thing called - Living With Autism for there help and gave me there phone number, only to find out it doesn’t exist anymore and the phone number is out of use 😔
why is it always one shuffle forward, then like a bungee cord your bounced back to the beginning again. Just have no fight in me anymore, I said to the Dr that I feel like if been in a boxing match with all the heavy weight boxing greats.
I’ve asked again to be referred to an advocacy place so that someone can speak on my behalf as I just struggle so bad to get my words out, my thoughts and points across to.
Im talking myself out of going to Cape Verde next year due to my mental and physical health as I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed of who this person is that’s sat writing this message as in all honesty I don’t know who it is.I just want to shuffle off into the hills…
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Hi @Grumpy1314 I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. You have no need at all to feel embarrassed or ashamed for reaching out for help.
You might be interested in the following link.
Please take care of yourself.
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@Grumpy1314 I am sorry you feel so down today. I hope you will feel a bit later. I know it is a struggle to keep going but I feel better times will come. But yes. I feel worse in the afternoon once I am back at home. Future is bleak but I try not to think about it.. .
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Was watching ozzy Osborne funeral procession
So. Sad
Sharon looked ill
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I can honestly say, my brain never switches off and is always thinking of everything. I’m even paying for a non attendance cremation service. Just in preparation for the future, I live alone with no family or friends.
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@Grumpy1314 it is always good to attend to places. I do at least I see people and once finish I am alone again but doing this bits and pieces help me to feel useful but it is hard as sometimes I don't want to leave my bed. There should be a community centre closed from where you live.. it is not easy.. but when my mind is just doing something I don't think about my problems.. it helps a bit . I hope you will feel a bit better if not today maybe tomorrow. In the community centres there are activities etc. I mean an excuse to leave home... Even sit down in a cafe and watch people helps me. I am on my own as well.. I enjoy my solitude sometimes. Getting old also made me grumpier. I use to.enjoy people. Now it gets harder to interact with them. But I try.. I want my old self back. Hopefully one day. It will be a bit different but if I could get some of my health issues better.....
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Afternoon.. back home. And a long day til is time to bed. So i will be there watching Columbo and murder she wrote until an interesting film comes up.. I will try not to think about anything.... Have A nice afternoon.
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Good afternoon everyone. Im sorry to see that some of you are struggling at least on this site , we understand and sympathise with you all. Hopefully tomorrow brings a better day for everyone.
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I understand I have bpd and awaiting adhd test my brain the same it's torture have conversations with people who aren't there argue with myself play out situations that haven't happened begged doctor for sedatives to cut off said no seen physicists god she made me worse so much worse it's hard you feel so scared vunerable really overwhelmed for it to go away all the feelings and constant thinking I really feel your frustration and anxiety I haven't got time for people I'm constantly talking in my head I thought everyone did I'm sending you love and hope
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Sadly I wouldn’t be able to attend Community Centres or Group Activities. For over 30 years I’ve felt uncomfortable in groups and with the way my mind has always been, I’ve always said the wrong things which isn’t good. I’m always better in a one to one setting, I’ve even told the Mental Health Team and the Wellbeing Team that and said I’ve got social services reports that will show it. I don’t even have confidence to go further than my GP Surgery to have a Coffee or a fresh piercing in town. What’s frustrating is that I’m one of many many thousands who have fallen through the cracks in a failed system. I was in a Children’s Psychiatric Unit between 6-8 years old.
in Manchester. I lived there and went to school there. I was saying to the councillor the other day I’ve got through a lot in 40 years but the last 21 months have truly tested me, I said the fact I moved into my own place at 41 and 11 months later I’m still not only in it but keeping on top of bills and still breathing is testament to how strong a fighter I am or how stubborn I am as well.
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I’ve just seen the footage on You Tube, she looks so frail, I honestly hand on heart have a sad feeling she will pass away this year from a broken heart. Kelly looked frail, Aimee looked frail as did Ozzys other kids and Sisters. I hope that Blackburn build a statue of the great man in his honour.
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Ive had ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety and Depression for over 30 years. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2023 and it floored me, part of the diagnosis was because of the screwed up childhood I had. I’m just glad that I haven’t seen or spoke to my family coming up to ten years. My parents were always saying - You Can’t Do That, You Can’t Do This etc because of the conditions I had, my ex wife took the weaponising a step further by saying “You Don’t Want To Get Better!” I’m just glad I live alone now and over time I’ll get the flat decorated, get a security system fitted, fly out to Cape Verde and apply for an Assistance Dog. I have though of applying for Channel 4’s The Dog House, but I wouldn’t have a clue where to start training up an Assistance Dog and all the tasks and rolls he or she could do for me.
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@grumpy1314 i am sorry… Yes it is harder for some people to be in groups.. my anxiety at times does not let me. and i try not to speak a lot .. it is very hard. i am taking it slowly even thought i should not. i want my old life back. when i was working etc.. i do not want to think about the system. i feel like rushing to it but if i rush i will crash. so i guess i i will need to do it step by step. mental health team only works on medication. and in my case medication is not working. anyway i hope you can feel a bit better tomorrow.. but i understand. it is a torture every day. i always wait until bed. and hope for a better day tomorrow. it is harder and harder to feel safe in the jungle out there. but i still feel there is some hope. that is what keeps me alive. the hope things will improve.
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sharon osbourne will not last. she is very sick she really looks very frail and ozzys death is a blow for her and her family. it is very sad. i hope i am wrong and she has many years to come but she has not look ok for a while.
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I managed to have a good day despite suffering with fatigue.
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