PIP experience

From start to finish caused me great anxiety and stress.  I was currently on the stand rate care and the enhanced mobility. I have had several operations on my back which I will list, 2002,  had myelopathy,  previous c4 -c6.  Laminectary myelopathy c3/c4 and c4/c5 fusion, c6/c7 prolapse disc, and cervical decompression. C5/c6/7, laminatary. C4/5 fused with correction of the tilt and pedicel screws stabilisation,  causing chronic depression and anxiety.  In short I’ve had 4 prolapse discs,  that were crushing into my spinal cord causing paralyses,  the had to hv bone in my neck shaved to make space so that the discs don’t bulge into my cord again,  then my last operation was metal rods put in upper back to correct tilt,  my mri shows significant bruising around the spinal cord at the top of my next,   This has left me struggling to walk to co- ordinate my legs,  arms etc,   I especially struggle with any fine movements ie buttons, lases, anything fiddly.   I am constantly in pain throughout the day.   Obviously this caused me much stress and depression as I don’t hv much confidence,  especially going out etc..  sorry to go on.   I had just come out of hospital after having a ruptured appendix which was so inflamed and infected caused me to be in hospital for 10 days,  now I knew I would be getting a letter off pip,  with the date of my assessment.   I should hv asked the assessor to come to my home as I wasn’t really well enough to make the journey there,  BUT I didn’t,   I asked my father to take me and assist me to the interview as it was on a day my good friend wasn’t able to make it... it was at Alston house Lancaster.   My father is 78 and is very deaf,   We put in the post code and it took us to our destination.  It was a building with parking permits only,  I asked my dad to take the letter of my appointments and ask somebody’s where to go,  my dad was very frustrated and flustered I felt like I was burdening him,, he cane back and said somebody had told him to drive out and down the road,  this ment going around the 1 way system,  so we just revers d out and ended up breaking the law by going back,   My dad by this time was furious and swearing.   I asked him to park near a glass door so I could get out and ask somebody, then a few cars got behind him and I could see he was going to blow his top,   I struggled getting and and burst into tears through frustration and my dad for being the way he was,  so I ended up going into a lift with a very kind lady who could see I was truly upset and didn’t know where I was going,  leaving my dad to get parked somewhere,   The lady said,   I know this is all very upsetting and proceeded to help me into the waiting room.   The receptionist could see how upset I was she offered me a glass of water,  I told her about my dad getting lost in the car park she said she would go outside n try n find him,  when she cane back she said I will see how long yr assessor will be,  whilstvwaiting my dad had managed to find where I was,   He was hugging and puffing obviously mad.   Then the assessor cane out to say she was ready for me,   I looked at my dad’s face and he said I will just wait here for you,  I wiped my eyes and went into the room alone.   The interview started she told me she was a nurse and told me she doesn’t touch type.   At first I thought she was nice,  then she proceeded to tell me that the list of all my monthly medication was over 8 months old,   And that she would hv to get an up to date list off my doctors which I agreed,  then she started asking me the names of medicines and dosages,  which I couldn’t pronounce or remember,  but all along think  she would get the up to date list.   I’m on morphine tablets and oral morphine, pregablin, naproxen, paracetamol,   And the highest dosage of ketamine  for my pain,  I’m also 60mg fluxotine,  50mg amitriptyline,  And 15 mg mirtazapine for depression,  which is maximum amount,  except for mirtazaphen which is a sleeping tablet works better in low dosage.  The assessor asked me various questions which I tried to answer,  I told her I had just had my appendix out,  she said bluntly oh pip doesn’t cover you for that.!!!  Every time she asked me a question??? She would then answer back with her answer ie,   She asked do I have any pets,  I said yes a 3lb chihuhae n a cat, She said she had a bullmastive,   Errr so ???,  she asked about any mental heath help I get ??? Then answered it by saying oh that’s just the 6 week normal you get!!!! She asked about my adapted cutlery so I told her she then said oh was that from occupational team,  bluntly again.  Asked about preparing meals I said I don’t as I’m on. Nutrients drinks milkshakes,  she said is it prescription or diet ??? I told her diet as I’m not very mobile,  then she asked about meals I told her I only hv cooked meal if somebody cooks for me,  I told her I don’t cook,  meaning I physically can’t,  she asked about how I manage in kitchen,  told her I had perching stool.    I just felt like the whole assessment was a test,   Especially when she wanted to do physical examination,!!!   I told her I would struggle standing up,  her reply was,   You can lean against bed,   I found this all very hard and degrading,   I had then decided she thought I was just another number with no compassion.   But to make things worse when I eventually got home after a very silent journey from my dad ,   Feeling very deflated and annoyed with my dad for not being there for me.   I had a phone call asking about my assessment and how the assessor was I said she seemed very professional etc etc,   I told him about the struggle I had finding the interview room etc..  5 days later get the dressing brown envelope.   OMG,   Standard rate for both???!!!.   She stated that I did not appear low in mood or anxious and that I am prescribed low dose antidepressants,  and that I can follow the route of a journey unaided,  musculoskeletal examinations and my mental examination.. I find this report to be wrong !   What do you guys think sorry I know it’s long ☹️