How do you start the day with your disability?

I have been a smoker since the age of 12, have been off and on the last decade though. It is really too expensive these days. Even rolly ups cost the same amount now.

Sorry I've only just seen this response. I could ask people on here if they're willing, but I don't think there will be people who'll let their guard down. Yes they are good ideas you suggest, and maybe I'll ask and see who is interested.

I understand that it isn't easy to make friends with people on the internet because you don't know what they'll be like. However, I think there's a lot of overthinking that influences people's decision-making. I think to myself why am I so kind and courteous, but when I extend friendship online people bat it down instead of taking a chance. I'm sorry you feel that way about online friendships, though some of the most difficult things in life take time to adjust to and what you may not like now could be worthwhile if you take the chance. I have fretted about speaking to an audience of people, but now I do stand-up comedy. I used to want everyone to like me, now I only entertain those who actually care about me.

I don't know if I've already said this, but I'm usually the one to strike up conversations with my mates, I put in the effort, I do what I can. However, not many people are receptive, and that's why I feel as though asking people to take a chance won't yield desirable results. There aren't many people who are like me, there aren't many people who've been denied time and time again despite being genuine, kind and honest. I get it though, it's what our culture has built and it's not my design that causes their timidity.

I am Autistic so normally find the mornings hard to deal with if I don’t have much energy and I usually overthink and worry about the day.

In terms of routines though I lay in bed, check my phone and social media apps, procrastinate, vape and then realise I should get up and have a bath.

@Rachel_Scope it’s normal for the mind to wander. For me meditation is bearing witness to the wandering, the gaps in between, the noises, the feelings etc… just being present with the whole experience with no agenda but to sit and allow it all ☺️🙏

I think the reason I want to stop being a lone wolf is because it's tied to the feeling I've been held down a lot in my life. It is a strong thing to be a lone wolf, but I want to integrate, I want to find ways to instill my greatest with a partner and friends I can meet up with a bit more regularly. I know people work and have busy lives, yet I don't want to feel detached. I think I know the solutions but enacting them by myself is really difficult for me because of a lack of focus. But hey, I mean this community doesn't make me feel alone and I am grateful this exists.