Advice on a difficult situation please

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Comments

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 879 Pioneering

    Thank you both.The appointment yesterday was with the lead from CAMHS.What is concerning is my son didnt want to get out of bed this morning and go to school.At this meeting yesterday when he came out he had his usual smile so obviously appeared to seem 'fine" when obviously he clearly isn't as the school alerted them to his intentions and I know his mood now.But they can't really do anything so I do think there will be a negative outcome despite my alerting everyone.I am also wondering if this bullying is continuing as ive seen a very odd message on his phone.He told me that it isn't but he denied he was being bullied before when it was absolutely horrific.Should I take him out of school? Even though its online? I just don't know.

  • Nightcity
    Nightcity Online Community Member Posts: 150 Empowering
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1082654#Comment_1082654

    Jane,

    you're right something isn't right here, I'm extremely concerned to why you were not included yesterday as that seems highly irregular.

    I can't tell you what to do, but from my personal experience of being in your sons shoes and knowing the trauma mum suffers being in yours if it was me in your situation I'd be desperately hoping for a reassurance and "rescue" but scared of asking, I'm guessing and it is a GUESS he os worried that by giving you the full facts the bullying might escalate.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 2,293 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Have you spoken to the school's Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL)? They should be fully aware of the situation and trying to put things into place to help your son. They should have a bullying policy - you could ask them about it and what they intend to do.

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 879 Pioneering

    The only person that has spoken to me is the Head of year.They haven't mentioned the bullying since I reported it to the police and then to them.Because there are more than 4 boys involved only detentions can be given so my son is still in the same class as them for some lessons and I know they have continually bullied another boy.What I don't know is if they are still bullying mine because he tells me nothing and now doesn't even go on his computer anymore so not only has no friends but no interest

  • Nightcity
    Nightcity Online Community Member Posts: 150 Empowering

    That's unfortunately a trait of depression as I lose interest in absolutely everything including everything I enjoy.

    So from that we can see he's clearly not ok as he claims which you already are aware of, schools tend to be unhelpful this goes back decades when I was bullied it was always a flurry of patronising excuses, suggestions and not our problem attitude what a shame it seems little has changed since the late 80's.

    someone needs to help you instead of trying to wiggle out of their responsibilities if it's on their watch they are to accept that.

    Detentions are useless it continues the cycle "you got me a detention you'll pay for that" and so it continues.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 2,293 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    If these boys are also bullying others then that's a massive failure on the school's part. Is it a Local Authority school or Academy? Maybe you could raise the issue with the council or the head of the academy. Have you made a complaint?

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 879 Pioneering

    I'm just too exhausted by it all.I think sometimes too many things are going on at once

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 2,293 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Totally understandable. Sorry I'm throwing so many questions at you, I'm very frustrated about it!

    Take some time to try and relax and regroup. It's a huge and distressing thing to deal with. We're all here for you 😊

  • Jane315STARX
    Jane315STARX Online Community Member Posts: 879 Pioneering

    TThanks Rachel.No need to apologise.I appreciate your interest.Its just nice knowing I have somewhere to come as I have nobody to talk to so its a safe place

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 2,293 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    The community is always here. I don't know if you've already had a look but when I need a bit of a brain break I go and look at everyone's pets in Pets Corner. It might be just the thing you need 😊 I have 2 cats but they're invisible during the day so I don't get snuggles until the evening when I'm exhausted and could do with some time to myself!

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