Memories
Comments
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Im so scared of letting my armour down in society from past experiences I can only handle moments with people I can mask and then im done hhhh ive done 8 thousand posts not bad for someone who hates writing its so hard with mental health tbh I cant fit into the structure of society I cant behave
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You know there is a part of me thats scared of changing letting go of all i know is it possible to restart at a later stage of life i cant trust myself I can start something its seeing it through
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He has district nurses daily ive had social services the lot with him long story the thing is I really know hes at the end of his life and he puts me in an impossible situation I will feel so broken yesterday I tried so hard to keep the situation civil but its impossible with him this has been all my life but im still very protective of him and have saved him from being evicted many times he doesn't care how I feel he screams im killing him for trying to clean his flat my psychiatrist says I have some form of Stockholm syndrome with him i know the next chapter in my life will be dealing with him passing i have no siblings so im mentally trying to prepare myself if thats possible
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Hey Catherine, I was reading some of your insightful comments after having just watched a great video that really resonated deeply with me and has given me such a better understanding of myself and felt led to want to share it with you too 😻
Sharing is caring 💙
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So so true just unpacking all that at 53 go through life not understanding its deep rooted trauma 💔 how are you today xx
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God i cant imagine cortisol levels god listened twice spot on it really is so sad isnt it for me its ingrained 50 years of feeling this way thankyou for sharing
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I know exactly what you mean and innerstand completely as I feel much the same as you 😒
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Sharing Is Caring 💙
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I'm always evolving. I think we all do, whether we try or don't, whether we want to or don't. In my experiences, it matters a lot who we listen to determine where we go. You know, selective listening.
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I have managed to block out so many memories which seemed to work extremely well for me until the past two years.For some reason everything just leaked through and its been bizarre.Trying not to lose a sense of reality while parenting a child.Then realising that history is actually repeating itself in that your child is doing things which affect your emotions.Seeing it from how it must of affected my dad ( for example).It's so very odd.Remembering memories that were there I didn't remember.
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By you being brave and facing all of the hurt, pain and trauma Jane, you are now breaking the cycle of the "unhealed" generational trauma that was passed down in your bloodline! You are a very caring mum and courageous lady and much more stronger than you think 💛
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Yes been speaking to kiki about this as well im exactly same unpacking alot i think for some women hitting menopause opens everything you been masking for years you cant do as much masking is incredibly draining
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Catherine, I'm sorry to hear after all this time you're still having this cycle with your father.
Please don't forget the amazing progress you've made here in the last 18 or so months, you've become such a popular, valued and loved member here, I am very proud of seeing your journey where you started on this forum to where you are now, the incredible transformation you've made to deal with your anxiety etc is absolutely staggering.
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Sharing Is Caring 💜
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OOh Thankyou I never ever forget seriously if it wasnt for you albus and scope i don't seriously know how I would of got through that time you was always explaining taking time out to comfort me and gave me great peace I never ever forget that ever thankyou so much
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Albus was amazing. Not feeling anybody else is but, hey ho. Let's just see how it goes hey?
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Thanks that means a lot.
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