My life now, never thought it would happen

Dm1985
Dm1985 Online Community Member Posts: 5 Contributor
in Everyday life

Hi.

I'm Steph.

When I was a teenager, I absolutely thought that, at best, in the future, I'd be living in a flat with a carer. I believed that that would be my life.

Man, was I wrong….

It wasn't because I thought that I couldn't do it, i just didn't even consider it because, unfortunately, society told me that it wouldn't happen, because I'm disabled. I'm a positive, determined person and I believed it.

I'm writing this to tell my story and urge people not to give up. I'd really like to give people some comfort if possible.

So… When I left college at the age of 20, I met my husband. He is able-bodied and he sees me for who I am. I couldn't believe that he wanted to be with me (again, society's fault).

After 7 years, we got engaged, another thing that I had never invisioned for myself. We married, then we started talking about babies. Babies! What! Now I firmly felt like I was dreaming. Never and I mean NEVER in a million years, did I think that I would have a baby… let alone two! How was I going to manage with a baby? Roll back… How was I going to carry and give birth to a baby?! I was overloaded with questions. Nonetheless, we had our first daughter, I had a natural birth (both times), with just gas and air, I even managed to breastfeed (much easier the second time round). I couldn't believe it, how was I doing this and how was this my life?!

But I did it and it is my life. A bit different than the life that I thought I would have eh.

My girls are now 3 and I 6. I've been with my husband for 20 years and married for 11.

I really want to get my story out there, hopefully give people hope, comfort and let people know that just because you're disabled, it doesn't mean that you have to give up. Of course every disability is different, of course. I just wanted to put it out there.

I 100% thought I'd be living alone… Here I am, a happily married mum of two.

Steph

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Comments

  • Holly_Scope
    Holly_Scope Posts: 4,487 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Thanks so much for sharing your story @Dm1985 🙂💜

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,969 Championing

    Thankyou step x

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,969 Championing

    Sorry steph I always spell names wrong

  • Dm1985
    Dm1985 Online Community Member Posts: 5 Contributor

    No worries

  • figraspberry41
    figraspberry41 Scope Member Posts: 169 Empowering

    #@DM1985

    Hi Steph,

    Welcome! Thank you for sharing you wonderful, encouraging story. I hope that it does indeed have the desired affect for those who are feeling very low and despondent because they feel that their lives are not worth the effort as they only envisage a poor outcome to their existence. Most of us will go through times like these and others this lasts longer because their condition(s) evoke those feelings, which are difficult to shake off at times. Your story is an inspiration to us all!

    I know of several people with disabilities that have gone on to have successful lives with husbands / partners and family of their own, which is truly amazing and wonderful but also shows that you can make the most of your life with what you have. That said, I also have met others and have a friend who has often said that her life is worthless because her disabilities prevent her from being the person she once was. It is difficult to always be positive when a condition (s) constantly 'drag' the person to feeling the way they do. So trying to have a positive outcome on life becomes very challenging but not always impossible. However, finding hope and trying to develop positive attitudes will be beneficial.

    I am not a Psychologist or Councillor or Doctor, but I have met (through a nursing career) tried to encourage (once patients) or others that through others who are supportive and for an individual to try to adapt positive thinking that you can try to make the most of the life you have. Yes, I know much easier said than done! However, you have proved that what you once thought imposable can actually be overcome and enable you to enjoy the life you now have. So, well done you!

  • SaraC_Scope
    SaraC_Scope CP Network, Scope Posts: 383 Empowering

    Thank you for sharing your story @Dm1985

    I'm Sara one of the CP Specialists at Scope and it's lovely to hear these celebratory stories, showing that CP doesn't have to define us. I can relate to everything you have said and try to empower disabled people and their families to live their best life.

    In 2026 our team want to hear from people in the CP community who have these stories to share, so if you'd like to get in touch, please contact us at cpnetwork@scope.org.uk.

    Kind Regards.

  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,882 Cerebral Palsy Network

    Hi @Dm1985

    It's great to read your story. I also feel it's important for the younger members of our community to see what is achievable. If that's the path they want their lives to take.

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