Suicidal Feelings
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My husband does so much for me, he's not a nasty person,I think I've just pushed him to the edge too, we lost one of our cats in July and I've been so sad about it, I've really struggled, I'm menopausal, my health issues are worse and my pain is awful.
he thinks I'm not trying, that I put no effort into anything, when honestly it's an effort to just get through every day...he thinks me saying I can't do something is an excuse. But I don't want to speak badly of him, I've loved that man for 33 years and we've been through so much together...I just want to stop feeling so useless and sad all the time.
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That's a lot to deal with @Clare75. As you say, perhaps your husband is just feeling the strain of it all. That doesn't mean what he said wasn't hurtful, but it sounds like you're both struggling with how things are despite how much you love each other.
So sorry to hear you lost another of your cats. Some other members were just chatting about how difficult it is over in our Pets Corner chat. It's so heartbreaking and if you're facing other things at the same time it can hit you even harder.
Hopefully you can get through to your GP and they can start putting some things in place to help. Do they help with your pain levels too? If you're struggling perhaps they can refer you on somewhere to help you feel more comfortable. Fingers crossed you get through tomorrow morning.
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Im so sorry you feel this i lost my fifi in september its so so painful and im in menopause its so easy to knock ourselves and really be cruel to ourselves you have a reason to feel all these feelings and thoughts we all are unqiue and we are all different partners families get upset at times and can try to motivate you in thier own ways its so important that you try not to punish yourself it makes the journey so much harder i loved my fifi she was my whole heart and i grieve everyday second and no one can tell me not to i deal with that my way and if its screaming crying stay in bed somedays then thats what it is im not lazy useless id like to see some people take on the menopause for some thats a whole different kettle of fish !! Be gentle with yourself ps for menopause i take collegan and its helped with achy joints i take life day by day now ive got up made a cup of tea even the little things making a cup of tea is a start your not alone sometimes expessing yourself helps a bit
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Things have been better, really good actually until they weren't...I had spinal nerve blocks a few weeks ago which I was so excited for, I hoped for a drastic improvement but so far I have none at all and it's sent spiralling down again. It's just hard when you're trying to give everything you have left and it's not enough.
So, any tips for pulling me out of this slump and showing my husband I can be the person I used to be.?
Not interested in contacting the doctor, I did that, they weren't helpful, I've tried speaking with a counsellor on the phone, they said they'd call me back to arrange some appointments, they didn't, I just need ways I can help myself.
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I also have a lot of problems with physical pain, then loads of other health problems caused by not getting correct treatment as nhs have been useless I get so frustrated with it all as I’d be fighting for these referrals or treatments and not getting anywhere! It would really would get me down and feel like I wana give up as physical excruciating pain on top of my mental health problems etc it’s too much to deal with, I genuinely would want to give up!
Make sure you got some decent painkillers even if it can ease pain a little it’s better than none. I would have a good cry, as crying is a natural pain reliever (doesn’t get rid of extreme physical pain) but crying does help abit it kind of clears my mind.
Then I use distraction to help me get through really bad times, I watch a film that I know gives me a nice warm happy feeling, everyone should have a favourite film or film/program that makes them feel happy, it’s a good distraction, eat some comforting food, self soothe by painting your nails, or do face mask or have bubble bath using mindfulness while doing it. Also there is the trick of the “half smile” you force yourself to smile just half way, (it feels weird at first, bit psychotic if I’m mad) but after a while it tricks your brain into thinking you are happy, then it releases happy hormones. Also I find that i don’t like thinking of future, so i take each day one day at a time, i just think of getting through one day, and when i have been really low and in a dark place, i think of getting through 10mins to 20 to 30 it’s just distracting yourself out of awful thoughts long enough until the feel good hormones eventually kick in. Also always be kind to yourself ❤️1 -
I think its acceptance is the one thing most of us suffer with and remembering how the life used to be tbh even without illnesses Disabilities are we really who we used to be through every year Decade i have changed my ex hudband from 30 years ago would deffo say ive changed and so would my second and the same goes for them i think its about growing togeather why hurt yourself inside for somethings you cant change you can adapt its so hard the mourning of what once was but we are always envolving in our ways you are a warrior strong i feel your so hard on yourself have you really spoken to your husband about how you feel ? Sometimes we think we know what people think but we dont really let it all out unburden yourself you didnt ask for any of this but we have to find ways to live with ourselves first oh many slumps ive pulled myself from i would say be kind to yourself soothe yourself focus on your innercore inside you
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Hi @Clare75 I'm pleased in general things have been looking up. I thought I'd share a few links with some tips for looking after our wellbeing and mental health, as some of the ideas have helped me feel better when things aren't great. I hope you start to feel a bit better. 💛
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Thank you x
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