Too sensitive to live

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  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Community Member Posts: 1,438 Championing

    @Catherine21 on the one hand I don't want to presume I really know what anyone is thinking or feeling on the forum or IRL. Especially when someone is teetering on the edge, about to make a crucial life decision. So I try to tell some of my story that I think is relevant to someone, like most people do. It's often unhelpful to assume we understand someone's insides.

    That being said, I hear you - what the heck is going on in this world?!?!?! I'm through with trying to be okay or trying to think the world is okay. I embrace the brokenness inside me, in others and in the world. I also embrace what is okay inside me, in others and in the world. Yes, let's wrap our arms around trees covered in bark that is knobby, gnarly, hard and rough. The trees breathe in the carbon dioxide of our expirations and breathe out the oxygen of our inspirations. We literally breathe with them.

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  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Community Member Posts: 1,438 Championing
    edited March 4
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1106725#Comment_1106725

    Lungs are like trees? That's a cool thought that never crossed my mind! I mean, I know the forests are called the lungs of the planet, but I never considered a tree as a human lung. Thank you for that thought! πŸ™πŸΌπŸ˜Š Here are some great images of that, with one looking at the branching of the roots...

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    Of the 11 systems in the body, you can also see branching in three of them (the lymphatic, circulatory and nervous systems):

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    Yes, as more people live in cities, more of us are losing contact with nature. It's one of the reasons I'm considering moving. My soul is aching for more nature.

    @sosad999 I hope you've survived another day.

  • sosad999
    sosad999 Community Member Posts: 42 Contributor

    Hi

    Thanks for all the well wishes - the appointment went better than expected. I'll be starting mentalisation based therapy in April. Its aim is to support people who have BPD and struggle with relationships. Its 1.5 hours of group therapy and 1 hour 1-2-1 every week. I've also started lamotrigine this week.

    I feel a bit more hopeful but that swings back to fear and panic very quickly. I'm pleased at whats been offered and that there is a glimpse of hope. Doesn't remove my daily fear but i know it can do given time. I have to be patient (not something I'm good at)

  • Holly_Scope
    Holly_Scope Posts: 5,800 Online Community Team

    That's good news @sosad999. It sounds like today's lifted a bit of weight from your shoulders.

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Community Member Posts: 1,438 Championing

    @sosad999 congratulations on setting up your meds and therapy. For me, it's almost impossible to get motivated to do anything when feeling suicidal, even the basics, let alone massive moves like you've made. So hats off to you.

    When my insides are at war as to whether to stay or go, music really helps, and in particular certain songs like this. It helps soothe my internal dialogue. Maybe this speaks to you too (lyrics afterwards)....

    https://youtu.be/6POcQ5wiUa4?is=GXdb-O8OXQyvJe7s
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    Softness heading your way. πŸ¦‹πŸŒ·πŸ˜Š

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