A Negative Experience With A Mental Health Service

I am not looking for toxic positivity or to be told how I should feel. Please do not redirect me to focus on my strengths. I just want my experience to be validated and acknowledged.

During a session at a mental health service, I shared the distress of being misunderstood by a university staff member. My former worker responded by stating that others are not going to understand my autism if they
do not have it themselves and specifically mentioned that even parents of autistic children “will never understand”.

I thought his comment framed my misunderstanding as a simple fact that I must accept rather than a social issue many neurodivergent individuals experience. It implied that my distress was unnecessary due to such an obvious fact. I thought it was an ableist remark because it othered my
experience and asserted a position of social superiority. The tone in which he remarked trivialised the impact of being misunderstood. The comment suggested
that I am lesser and reinforced the systemic exclusion that autistic people experience daily. I felt invalidated and misunderstood.

I remember when he said it was not a test while I was taking my time answering his questions. I thought he framed my silence as a fear of failure. Due to my autism, I do not process information simultaneously. It can
also take significant time for me to process experiences and feelings. As a result, the experience has only recently been surfacing, impacting my mental health. It was unreasonable for him to expect an immediate expression of my feelings. When I process emotions, access to explaining my autism and needs is blocked. His apparent lack of knowledge regarding neurodivergence processing created a communication barrier. This makes it even more difficult to give
responses in the moment. 

I shared this with the manager of the mental health service and asked if she could put in the file that I would like to see a different
worker when I drop in. The manager shared the procedure of their drop-in rotas and their limitations. I expressed to her that I thought she prioritised this over the impact the previous worker’s words had on me and that I did not think she fully acknowledged the way his comments made me feel. It felt like a cover-up for what the worker did.

She has not replied to my response. Her silence has been causing some anxiety and making me feel ignored. It leaves my pain unrecognised by her when it was before. I have been thinking that the manager will respond to my email out of stress of having a lot on her plate or not respond to my
email at all. Or, that I will have to send a follow-up email, only reinforcing
the belief that I am getting ignored.
I have been having a thought that she will suddenly stop contact with me, while my current worker treats me the opposite way. I imagined coming to the service for my appointment and seeing her chatting and smiling with another member of staff when my current worker collected me for our
appointment. This felt like she suddenly acted as if I were invisible, even
while they are being high-energy and "warm" with everyone else around
you. This only confirmed the belief that she did stop contact with me. I have
been feel betrayal.