What do you do when you're about to have a massive meltdown?
Comments
-
If your on about wanting to screaming then i used to break stuff you feel better for a while but nature away from people is a great substitute. I drink and self medicate when i really want to be calm show no emotion. Isolation helps and minimal talking to people i really advise not talking to people you see they never really want to help most bitter. I also used to pace up and down alot and get hot ears. I cant stress isolation from people it'll save your life. Go for walks in nature avoid people get a dog they're loyal lay by your side when you cant get up and make you get up to go out for things you dont do for yourself. Walk in the river the sensation blocks thinking like loud music.
1 -
I forgot i also use a place where i can listen and talk to god its like taking time to reflect also helps if your into that.
1 -
Hi @Holly_Scope π Just maybe there might be as many ways to cope with stress as there are people. ...My martial arts instructor is Spanish, so it's not as offensive as it sounds since he doesn't really understand it. Otherwise I don't think I could do it as he's such a sweetie pie. He's teaching me Yawara-Jitsu, which was invented by his father here in MΓ‘laga in 1975. There are components that I'm learning that focus on women's self-defence and people with disabilities, including both mental and physical. Here's more if you're interested. It's in Spanish, but Google Translate add-on gives a great translationβ¦
Unfortunately, I cannot defend myself on the psychiatric ward from the violence from the staff, which is where I really need it. And this is my biggest fear in life, and the worst ongoing trauma since my first admission at 19 (43 years ago!!) I cannot do more than I've done to change this ongoing reality. Violence against people with psychiatric illness is an accepted international norm.
1 -
Hi @Amazonianup
Yes, I've heard about the therapy of breaking stuff and signed up for a smash room last fall, but they haven't called me yet. It sounds awesome. ....Hot ears while pacing? Interesting! ...Yes, definitely isolating helps me too. But if I isolate too much I can't cope either because I get stuck in my own thoughts. Like a hamster caught in a forever wheel. Know what I mean? ....Yes! Pets are awesome. I have a kitty cat, Angel.
...Yes, I have a God place too. Well, quite a few of them really. Nature helps me too, as I believe Mother Nature can hold and accept everything and anything because She is so strong and compassionate - the ultimate. A few months ago someone said to me, "Nature is God's footprint." I love that. Talking about footprints, you might like one of my favourite poems. Here it is, in case you don't know of it already. This is "Footprints in the Sand" by Mary Stevenson....
1 -
Yes hot ears lol it used to always happen at night mostly. Thats a nice poem. I am learning to take a few minutes no phone no distractions. Sometimes I have to wait before it becomes mindful (for me i use a cigarette i need a healthier option to appear less awkward), the waiting like to think or say something meaningful, i go to a church garden where i sit and see the cross and watch the birds they like to be fed. The black bird that returns and flies to the top of the cross then to grave and then the tomb and bobs along the path asking for bread. The squirrels chasing them. Its like a garden but distance from people. I look up at sky and trees . Kind of like a ritual. Its kind of like your poem just making space and knowing hes there, because i suck at praying at home like rushing and not reflecting. I find making the space and time by this ritual when depressed is like your poem.
I would say i feel so stressed and fast thoughts but the sitting and waiting for the meaningful thoughts can help because my brain is like a tv with all channels on same time. If i tried say relax at home it wont work or struggle to do too many things in a day wanting to do everything but achieve nothing. Finding a special place for a moment in it can really help. Try finding a place like this and it might help you feel less like a hamster on a wheel but the ritual can be meaningful like God is walking with you.
0 -
Sometimes I end up shouting like a white version of Kenan from Kenan and Kel "WHYYYYYY?!"
0 -
You're so right. We're all unique. π
It breaks my heart to read what you've been through from staff in the psychiatric ward. Why these people think it's ok is beyond me. They should be helping people, not harming them. I'm just glad you've been strong and continue to thrive. Thanks for sharing the links for Yawara-Jitsu- it sounds really great. I love that it teaches self defence and is inclusive.
0 -
@SheffieldMan1976 I never heard of that show. I found this for you....π
So when you blow up with or without swear words in your residence or elsewhere, does the focus become the fact that you blew up, rather than WHY you blew up? For me, it's like it doesn't matter how horribly abusive people are to me, if I react I am ignored until I blow up, but they still ignore me because they still ignore why I blew up and just CORRECT ME for reacting to the abuse. Does that make sense? Does that happen to you?
@Holly_Scope you're welcome for the info. It's really awesome stuff. ...I'm sorry for breaking your heart. That doesn't help you or me or anyone. I'm not strong anymore or thriving. I've given up and set things in motion for the quickest exit. About a year ago I found out that studies have shown severe childhood abuse causes premature death of up to 20 years. I certainly qualify for the 20 years. So I'm hoping my time is up soon. It's not just the psych ward in Canada that's unsafe; it's everywhere in the world where everyone can and will haul me in for torture. There is no escape. I did a collage in 2013 to show this...
@Amazonianup thank you for your reply. I'll come back soon to respond. ππΌπ
0 -
(Edited to remove my name.)
This collage is called 'All Roads Lead to Rome'. The pictures are from Google searches. The arrangement of the photos and the idea are mine.
0 -
Hi @Amazonianup
Oh your description of sitting in the church park is so vivid and beautiful. β€οΈπ Thank you for sharing your sacred moment. ππΌ We have that in common too, as I go up the street to a tiny chapel in the cemetery where my family has a plot. The last one buried there was my grandmother. There is a colony of ferrel cats there that are well taken care of, and lots of beautiful orange trees and jasmine trees, and lots of birds. The chapel always has lots of gorgeous bouquets of fresh flowers. Typically no one is there so I get the chapel and the cemetery all to myself. Imagine how amazing that is?? Then there's also a beautiful park right beside the cemetery, where there are lots of trees and doggies. This place has become an anchor in my life over the last two years. Like you say, this is a place to create "space and time" to be able to think and feel. Especially for the times when I'm in the hamster wheel as well as when all the channels are on. Oh, and that's a really good way of explaining that frame of mind - all the channels are on. Perfect.
I have different types of meltdowns. Depression is another for me too. Panic is another. Short-circuiting is another. And more. So many to choose from! Lol! Depending on the type of meltdown, I approach it differently. But typically the cemetery and chapel are good for all of the meltdowns. Sometimes I talk to people too.
Smoking for mindfulness is so effective. It was often the only thing that got me through difficult situations. I smoked a lot since I was 15, and gave it up 10 years ago when I was going through breast cancer treatment. I just didn't have the health for it anymore. Gawd I miss it. I love this quote by Mark Twain, who was a passionate cigar smoker....
"As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep and never to refrain when awake."
π
1 -
@Amazonianup, here are some orange blossoms in the cemetery for you....
0 -
I love that video, SO funny!
0 -
@StarryEyed β¦ damn. The things you've described. Reinforcing more and more in my mind that some humans are not the most civilised species on this Earth. Oxygen thieves. There are some seriously strong people on this forum <bows down smiley >
I'm lucky in that I don't have meltdowns now my PTSD is under control, but bwoy I used to have some humdingers. Rage. Tantrums. Tears β¦ I used to use violence on inaminate objects until the day I swung a hammer and caught one of the stumps on my hand β¦ that grounded me pretty damned quick β¦ was definitely back in the here and now π€£
I think that's the day that the mantra of memories not being able to hurt you they teach, really sank in β¦
I still have days but whenever possible I use all the coping techniques I've been taught over a lot of years. Years that I've been so lucky to have compared to so many others β¦ to have had that support.
Whenever possible I try to be creative, be it writing songs or using the medium of digital art to get the thoughts out of my head. Whenever the body is playing ball I also like to create one off pieces using wood that I can place around the house to see the positivity that can come out of the negativity. I must admit I don't think I'd have survived without the creative bones inside of me
Listening to music too. Whether it's old style punk or bluegrass and everything inbetween and either side. I just love music.
I'm lucky to be in a place where I'm at, where if I can't change it I'm not going to stress about it β¦ life or myself hasn't killed me yet, so I'm gonna keep on going
I guess that's all subject to change, but I wish one and all strength in the fight
1 -
"to see the positivity that can come out of the negativity", what beautiful words @WelshBlue.
1 -
Thanks @Rachel_Scope as someone who used to catastrophise over everything, no matter how small β¦ looking for positives is a goal I try to set myself whenever possible
Maybe after 2 Psychologists both said they think I'm scared not to feel the way I was feeling because I'd lived that way for years. Scared not to have Trauma in my life because I hadn't known anything else
They could be right β¦ maybe why they're paid the big bucks and I'm the headcase helping pay their mortgages π
1 -
Quite frankly, I'm really not surprised to hear about those figures. The effect of abuse lasts whilst a lot of the time, those causing it can just get on with their lives.
Being strong enough to be raw and open about how you feel, and what you've been through and continue to go through helps others and I personally find you incredibly strong. You continue to find things that help you heal.
Thanks for being you π
0 -
I used to be very guarded and a lot less open, I had to be to protect myself from online abuse.
But the trolls would criticise me anyway.
1 -
That nice Thank you. Just when you go just remember to look up its hard when your not well. Looking up makes a difference even for normal people we forget to see beautiful things theres a name for it to find meaning in small things but while like other aids it wont be enough it certainly helps.
0 -
@WelshBlue your journey sounds very different from mine as I'm stuck in freeze or flight mode. Fight is not a mode I am able to do. I've never been aggressive or violent - physically or verbally. The worst I can do is yell and swear, and that's only in emergency like being assaulted in the hospital. So getting out of freeze mode is what I'm working on. As I said, I did four legal proceedings regarding the psychiatric system. I also did six legal proceedings regarding childhood trauma. So I can defend myself on paper in the courts, when I'm not actually undergoing the assault. But otherwise I typically just shut down into freeze mode or I avoid/leave the situation (flight). This goes with even minor confrontation, even perceived confrontation, such as conversations with friends and family.
@SheffieldMan1976 do you find learning taekwondo is helping your confidence in defending yourself verbally with others? And do you find your self-esteem has improved? That's what I'm hoping for the most. Oh, and I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the video π
@Holly_Scope and @Amazonianup I look forward to coming back soon to reply to you.
2 -
@WelshBlue I just want to add that what we do have in common in our experience of PTSD is that it messed with our fight-flight-freeze response.
@Holly_Scope thank you for your kind words. I just wish I didn't have a life where I need to be strong. Also sometimes I wish I wasn't strong so that I would just throw in the towel. But I'm too chicken to off myself. I was palliative at first with my cancer diagnosis, knowing that I didn't want to be here anymore, and this was my way out. However, I found out what is like to die from breast cancer, and in all likelihood it would be shear torture. So I decided on treatment for the cancer, but just before treatment Idid try to OD. However, obviously, it didn't work, and I have just been too chicken to try again. Most people when they go through treatment are hoping not to die, but I was afraid of living - and still am. I often wish I had had the guts to die from the cancer, or the thyroid storm previously. Anyway, my whole life has been spent cleaning up the mess of other people who have traumatized me, and it has been no life. I'm actually thrilled that I might get 20 years knocked off my lifespan, because it has pulled the finish line closer, and in seeing that finish line I'm hoping that I get a second wind for a shorter race. Know what I mean? Like when you see the finish line it makes the rest of the race more doable.
I read somewhere on this forum (I think it was last week) about a member who was having problems drinking, and that person wondered if cerebral palsy gets worse with age. One of the staff responded and said yes that it takes a heavier toll on the body than somebody who is healthy, so indeed people with cerebral palsy have a shorter lifespan. That never occurred to me, but I do know that is the case with other diseases and disorders. But it never occurred to me for childhood abuse. For me, it is a sweet mercy to be able to retire early. I imagine a lot of us here on the forum are faced with a shorter lifespan due to illness. So I'm in the right place here, for yet another reason. Not that I wish it on anyone, of course!
@Amazonianup you're welcome. Yes, I am always looking up, if not literally then figuratively, in the sense of looking for guidance, feeling humble and being grateful. I think of God in rather loose ways, for example as the creator of all that is in the universe, including us humans. With my Canadian background, part of my culture is Native Canadian, so I honour nature. With my science education, I think science is proof of a creative force. I grew up in the 60s and 70s, so God and Jesus were freely spoken of then - not a taboo like now. I'm so grateful that we're allowed to use the G word here on the forum, and even allowed to discuss the G topic. Anyway, for those reasons and others, I see God as everywhere, as a part of everything. Given that, this is one of my favourite songs expressing that. This is Andrea Bocelli, Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes singing 'The Blessing'. For you. I hope you like thisβ¦
ππΌππ
1
Categories
- All Categories
- 16.3K Start here and say hello!
- 7.7K Coffee lounge
- 120 Games den
- 1.8K People power
- 185 Announcements and information
- 25.7K Talk about life
- 6.2K Everyday life
- 424 Current affairs
- 2.5K Families and carers
- 889 Education and skills
- 2K Work
- 610 Money and bills
- 3.8K Housing and independent living
- 1.2K Transport and travel
- 675 Relationships
- 1.6K Mental health and wellbeing
- 2.6K Talk about your impairment
- 883 Rare, invisible, & undiagnosed conditions
- 945 Neurological impairments and pain
- 2.3K Cerebral Palsy Network
- 1.3K Autism and neurodiversity
- 41.5K Talk about your benefits
- 6.2K Employment & Support Allowance (ESA)
- 20.5K PIP, DLA, ADP & AA
- 9.4K Universal Credit (UC)
- 5.4K Benefits and income