What do you do when you're about to have a massive meltdown?

@StarryEyed … the saying is true, we're never too old to learn something new.

Until I read your response I didn't know there are 4 F's … I've only ever known Fight and Flight, I didn't know until I did some reading, that there's also Freeze and Fawn. In all honesty I wish I'd known Fawn sometimes in my life. I'm unsure now after ruminating on it whether it's Nature or Nurture that it never came into the equation in situations

One thing we also have in common in our PTSD is that it happened because of others, I think there's a quote by Nelson Mandela about healing and forgiveness … unfortunately I can never forgive because the hate is still strong even after 36 years. Not so much the physical act anymore but that I hated myself for so long and that impacted people I love deeply and was so ashamed that I 'made plans' not to be here any longer

But I am and I wish you all the strength to continue being the great person you come across as on here

Me, I'll just continue to be the person in real life that people either love or hate, and picking myself up when I get knocked down, whether mentally or physically

Take care

Yes, first there was just fight and flight. Then they added freeze, I think around 30 years ago. The newest is fawn, which is new to me too. In my experience there is another, which I liken to short circuiting. It's like the Windows blue screen when the computer crashed. If I were to name it I'd call it the F'ed mode. 😁 That's the one I get a lot. It's a complete meltdown where you can't think properly, feel properly and even at times you can't move. Most people would call it a freeze state, but it's not because a freeze state is really just to stop. This state is a disconnect from yourself and the environment, and is like an implosion or an explosion or both. It's short lived, from seconds to hours. Does that at all sound familiar?

Have you ever done any work to rehabilitate your FFFF response? That's what I've been working on since last September, through emergency preparedness, solo travelling, learning to speak up at times of conflict in conversations and now martial arts - having come a very long way in a very short time. It's fun thinking of this song when doing martial arts. This is Kung-fu Fighting by Carl Douglas 😊

Hi Sheffieldman 😊

I hadn't realised you've been at this for so long! Impressive dedication. 👍🏼

Yes, my instructor is very clear that I should always avoid conflict at all costs, and that is the focus of all the scenarios we work through. So he's showing me how to defend myself and get away on my scooter and electric tricycle. However, he's also clear that there may be times that I'm trapped and can't get away, so he's showing me how to fight in self-defence in trapped situations as well.

That's encouraging to hear how martial arts helps your confidence. My understanding is that is typical. In just two lessons, I'm already feeling a little less vulnerable. Maybe confidence is possible down the road. Daring to dream.

Did you ever get into the Bruce Lee movies? I adored them as a kid. Check this out....

https://youtube.com/shorts/nH3m7pdvOig?is=a_WgxNxyMcDIGQZr

@StarryEyed 😁@ the F'ed Mode 🤣

We did a bit of work on the FFFF's … somatics ? And cognitive techniques. Did a lot of work on catastrophising, but mainly it was Grounding techniques - breathing, body, mindfulness etc just to work through firstly the Exposure therapy and when I relapsed back in '22 for EMDR therapy. All in all 5 years I was lucky to be given with someone I really trusted

I sometimes think I've got so many grounding techniques that if I ever get hit by lightning it's passing straight through me

Thanks for explaining how it affects you, and yep I've had the disconnection from myself and the world in general at different times. Without wanting to sound like a cliche or condescending, I think you sound remarkably strong dealing with all you have to. No matter what some think, it's really not easy

LOL at the 'unlikable … I think that's what I like about myself too. If they're hating on me, they're leaving others alone 😉

@StarryEyed … gosh no rush. Don't pressure yourself to respond. I know how difficult/ tiring processing can be. It's not as simple as shutting down to reboot a pc.

Thanks for the link, will definitely give them a listen. Strange how powerful EMDR is, and how it was discovered by accident. I must admit it was only the moving fingers that worked for me … arm/knee tapping just caused pain because of the fibro and my brain couldn't cope with the flashing light. We never tried the vibrating buzzers or sound. Not sure why, maybe she thought it would be sensory overload ?

I used to feel so sorry for her … moving her hand for an hour and a half and then having to drive 2 hours home

Take care and don't pressure yourself. 😊

Wow @StarryEyed, reading through your comments on here shows that you have gone through so much in your lifetime, yet what shines so very brightly throughout your written words is just how much of a brave, strong, and resilient woman you are! 🌟

You should write a book (not sure if you have already) im sure would be a best seller!

Talking of flight, fight and fawning, I only learnt about this a few months ago from someone called Tim Fletcher

P.s I have only just realised that this is your post @SheffieldMan1976 and hope you didnt mind me commenting to @StarryEyed on here 😊

its nice ty but i used to say those things when i would think about the end. Its how i felt when i was goind leave my dog and jump from bridge.I have been a bit better but i hope you are too.

@Kiki23 oh you're so kind to say such things. Yes, I'm made of tough stuff but it's been at the expense of a life. As I've said elsewhere, I've never had a life as all my time, energy and money have always been focused on just surviving. I'm always just hanging by a thread. Yes, I published a book. No, it's not a best seller. Lol! (We're actually on topic in this thread as the topic is meltdowns.)

Indeed 🥰

@Amazonianup I'm so sorry you too have been in that space and hope you can find the strength to steer clear of bridge thoughts. I think about letting go pretty much every day, to some degree. The song to me isn't about death, but about building strength in life through the idea of angels guiding and protecting us. I don't think about angels too much, but I love the lyrics and to boot the singing is stunning IMO.

Hi @WelshBlue 😊 Just looked up your song. Lovely. Nothing dramatic about it all to me. I'm sorry you understand about the flop response.

For all of those struggling with meltdowns - and we all do - this is "Come Healing" by my favourite person in the whole wide world, Leonard Cohen. 🙏🏼🤗

Hey @ColonelBlink I'm talking about people in this thread - referring to the various ways people are talking about their meltdowns.