How often do you...... — Scope | Disability forum

How often do you......

Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
consider the situation of the people you meet or the stories you read and think "I would do that differently".

I have said a number of times that I do not wish to inflict the suffering I will face on a lady by accepting them into my life. I have had a number of ladies disagree with me on the basis that it is not my place to decide for any lady that wants to take the risk. To them, they are obviously framing that statement in their own terms. I am sure others have felt the same but haven't wanted to say anything, so I wonder how often that occurs.

On that basis would you say what you are thinking or leave them to it?

Obviously, my own opinion is fairly clear. I cannot resist putting in my twopeneth, lol!

"I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.


  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,212 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi TK

    Any decision we make should be based on as much information as we can gather. With relationships this is even more important and I do understand your concerns. If you want a relationship then full disclosure to the other party is necessary but not always at the start. Build a friendship first, you don't have to rush into a more intimate relationship straight away.
    You are you first, not your disability. Take your time getting  to know them first and let them get to know you, the real you. Your problems are only part of who you are and it is up to the other person to decide for themselves whether to accept all of you. Nobody is perfect and you may find that the other person has faults as well and that is then your decision whether you can accept them for who they are.
    Relationships between any two people don't always workout, whether disabled or not and either side can be hurt. That is life, you deserve to have a life but don't give your disability power over you. I am sure that you have much love to give so don't deny other people the benefit of knowing the real you

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Neil2017
    Neil2017 Member Posts: 155 Courageous
    Hi @Topkitten

    Fascinating question. I am of tge opinion of that old saying: You can take s horse to water but you can’t force it to drink.

    of course meaning you can give some people all tge information in the world, but they do not necessarily want, need or chose to act on it.  I guess this generally applies to those of sound mind or with disabilities not so severe that they can act on it themselves or with carers, partners, etc to act on there behalf.

    i would also second what @CockneyRebel
    Has stated in that you read around a lot To try and make an informed decision or go to an expert to confirm stuff.
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    @CockneyRebel I was only using my decision as an example of how some comment and others don't. I have no intention of changing my mind except under very specific circumstances. If I never felt lonely it would not be a problem to stick to it and I am never going to be convinced it would be right to link up with someone even should they reach the criteria I set out. Because my condition is progressive in much the same way as MS is I will always be my disability and will always have to learn and relearn how to cope and function.

    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.