Discrimination at book club?

System
System Posts: 307 Online Community Programme Lead
in Mental health and wellbeing
This discussion was created from comments split from: Disability Discrimination by A2Dominion After Dangerous Beko Oven Explosion.

Comments

  • pooleemily29
    pooleemily29 Community Member Posts: 227 Empowering
    edited August 27

    @SaraC_Scope hi im Emily and I am really struggling right now with my new book club I have juat joined. I joined Saturday just gone and there was no rules or guidelines in place on the website. And now there is and all because I asked what another member was like. I got the official warning from the leader of the group. Telling me that if I didn't desist from asking questioning or making other members feel uncomfortable by asking what another member of the group was like. Id be taken off the books all three online WhatsApp communities and I hsd to explain to one of the admin that I had Cerebral Palsy and rhat my head doesn't eork as quick as normal persons.

    And now im having slow down answering replies on for fear of making other members of the group uncomfortable.

    When the group claims to be inclusive.

    I'm just looking for some bookish friends.

    And now I when I go to an in person meet up i am going to have stand there and tell them myself. Using Harpers story from a curse so dark snd lonely a book by Bridget Kremmer.

    This is what the leader of the book club ive wrote on publicly on the chat this morning.

    Hi Emily. I didn’t want to do this but consider this as an official warning. This message and a few of your previous ones have made many members of this group feel very uncomfortable, and that's not on. I gave you a lot of grace as you came in before the introduction of our guidelines and as a newbie. But this has to stop. Any more messages similar to this in any of the groups you are in and you're out of the group - I'm sorry, but I have to protect our community.

    Is this discrimination? Or

    #discrimination #disability #cerebral palsy.

  • Hopeless
    Hopeless Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 1,043 Pioneering

    I’m very concerned that you were given an official warning on a public chat. That just seems so wrong. I think if it was me I’d leave and find a different book club

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 5,670 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Sorry to hear this has happened @pooleemily29. I hope you are okay.

    It doesn't seem fair that you were called out publicly like that in front of the other members either, that doesn't sound like a very nice or inclusive space in general tbh.

    Do you have any other local book clubs near you that will hopefully be more welcoming and inclusive?

  • SmellyBin
    SmellyBin Community Member Posts: 653 Empowering

    @pooleemily29 Gosh, I am so sorry for your disappointment, Emily. You were probably looking forward to a nice evening out, meeting new people, having an interesting conversation… and now this.
    Apart from them taking it out in the open, I also disapprove of the tone of voice of that message. The ‘very uncomfortable’ is making it sound like you sent them **** pics or something weird like that.
    Indeed, if there was a remark or joke by you that was misunderstood or not clear or whatever, why can they not pick up on that and help you with what their problem is? So you can get it right next time, instead of this response?

    I hope I am not adding fuel to your fire, but want to acknowledge that things didn’t turn out the way they you were hoping 🌸

  • SaraC_Scope
    SaraC_Scope CP Network, Scope Posts: 465 Pioneering

    Hi @pooleemily29

    I've only now read your post. I'm so sorry to hear you were treated so badly. I hope you're okay.

    This doesn't sound like a welcoming group at all. It's so horrible when you've made the effort to join a community with similar interests, to be singled out this way.

    As @Mary_Scope suggested, do you have other local book groups in your area, or perhaps an online book group?

    Look after yourself this weekend and perhaps look for something different after the Bank Holiday.

  • kreacher
    kreacher Community Member Posts: 622 Empowering

    from what i read, you were asked to stop asking members questions and you didn't, were you told to stop privately and you didn't heed the warning and the leader of the group called you up, which is fair enough as you were asked to stop, how is that discrimination

  • Ross1975
    Ross1975 Community Member Posts: 1,608 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1147016#Comment_1147016

    I don't think SheffiledMan was saying that we do.

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 9,343 Online Community Team

    I think we're at risk of derailing the original post, so please try to keep things civil and understanding. Everyone's communication styles can be different and we might not have all the information. Please try to give others the benefit of the doubt and be sensitive about how your responses might come across to someone who's having a hard time.

    Sorry you had a bad experience with your book club @pooleemily29, it must be upsetting to be called out like that. I hope you've had some time to look after yourself this weekend.

    One of our members has just set up a book club here in case you're interested: September Book Club. I'm sure you'd be welcome to join in if you'd like to. The theme this month is books about books - stories about book clubs and libraries, things like that ☺️

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