Only child feeling lost – dad had foot amputated, don't know where to start

louisowen01
louisowen01 Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
in Benefits and income

Hi everyone,

I'm an only child and feeling completely overwhelmed right now. My dad recently had to have his foot amputated due to diabetes complications. Neither he nor my mum can work, and there’s no other family around to help.

I'm suddenly taking on everything myself with no money coming in, and I feel terrified.

Could anyone point me in the right direction?

What financial help or benefits (PIP, Carer's Allowance, UC) should we apply for immediately?

How do I arrange home care support or physical equipment for my dad?

Any advice on where to start would mean the world. Thank you.😫

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Comments

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Community Member Posts: 9,051 Championing
    edited September 4

    You mention your parents cannot work, so do they currently receive benefits, have savings they are living off etc? How old are they both?

    The same for yourself, do you have capital over £16k, are you working or receiving benefits?

    You could see a local welfare rights organisation for advice, they can go through your circumstances and that of your parents to advise further on what financial help is available, help with applications etc.

    https://advicefinder.turn2us.org.uk/

    Is Dad still in Hospital? If so, they will have to enable a safe discharge in terms of assessing if equipment and/or temporary carers are needed (up to 6 weeks, after which his care transfers to the local authority). You can ask to speak to the ward social worker.

    If he is now at home, what discharge arrangements if any were made?

    You can request both a needs assessment for Dad & carer assessment for you, these can be done at the same time.

    https://www.nhs.uk/social-care-and-support/help-from-social-services-and-charities/getting-a-needs-assessment/

    https://www.nhs.uk/social-care-and-support/support-and-benefits-for-carers/carer-assessments/

  • louisowen01
    louisowen01 Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1147955#Comment_1147955

    Hey Kimi, thanks so much for the reply and the links, really appreciate it. Just to clarify, Dad is already back home now. He's 53 and Mum is 50, and honestly, we don't have any savings or other income right now.

    To be honest with you, I'm not really worried about the financial stuff or filling out benefit forms at this exact second—my head is completely gone. Being an only child watching both my parents struggle like this is just destroying me inside. I feel so burnt out and mentally exhausted trying to keep it together for them. Do you know of any mental health support or hotlines for carers in the UK where I can actually talk to someone about this anxiety? I feel like I'm about to snap.

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Community Member Posts: 9,051 Championing
    edited September 8

    For someone to talk too you can try The Samaritans or Carers UK, perhaps 111 or your GP if you feel it's really urgent.

    https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/helpline-and-other-support/

    I've suffered with burnout from caring beyond my abilities more than once so please do get yourself some help.

    I ended up increasing my existing prescription pain relief, undertaking physiotherapy and ultimately stepping back from my Mother's care as much as I could alongside getting a carer to support me at home. So I really do understand.

  • Community_Scope
    Community_Scope Posts: 2,460 Online Community Team

    We're going to send you an email shortly @louisowen01, please keep an eye out for it.

  • louisowen01
    louisowen01 Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1148564#Comment_1148564

    Thanks for sharing that, it really helps hearing from someone who’s actually been through the thick of it. Burnout is no joke, and it’s so easy to push yourself way past your limits before you even realize how bad things have gotten.

    I’m definitely keeping those helplines in mind and looking into getting some extra support. Glad you were able to step back and prioritize your own health before it completely broke you—that takes a lot to do, but it’s so necessary.

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Community Member Posts: 9,051 Championing

    I definitely should have stepped back sooner but as you say it's very hard to do, to give you an idea of how long my situation went on & got progressively worse increasing my pain relief was in 2024, physiotherapy July 2025 and temporary carer for me February, I thought about that one for too long I would have really benefitted from that help sooner, and as things turned out it started the week my Mum died.

    I've been able to stop the physiotherapist (or rather, downgrade to beautician grade massage therapy), the pain relief I'm keeping where it is and the carer I suspended once my summer duvet came out, I'll probably have then start again soon once the winter duvet is on the bed as changing the bed is what I was struggling with the most and I feel I'd still benefit from a weekly visit.

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