Are we getting worse at talking to each other?
I came across this article about how people seem to be getting less comfortable with simply talking to other people, whether that's chatting to someone on a train, making small talk in a queue, or just striking up a conversation with a stranger.
So are we getting worse at talking to each other?
Phones and social media probably play a part, but I think it's also become socially unusual to talk to strangers. I know for me, even sitting next to someone on a bus can feel like I'm invading their personal space!
Do you think people used to be more sociable, or are we just romanticising the past?
And are you someone who will happily chat to a stranger, or would you rather be left alone? ๐
Comments
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I think we are getting worse at talking to each other. Phones have a lot to do with it.
When you get on a bus most people are on their phones, sit in the doctors or dentist waiting room people are on their phones even sometimes when they are cashing up at the supermarket on their phones.
I am happy to talk to a stranger if they say hello I will always answer them or if they smile I will smile back. If someone wants a chat say in the supermarket or on the bus I will chat with them. I always think you could be the only person they talk to that day/week.
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Phones definitely play a big part in this. Being in public and on our phones allows us to escape into our own safe little world and block out everything else. I think texting has removed a lot of the need to speak to each other. Texting allows you to take time to think about what you want to say so it's less daunting than having a proper conversation.
Sometimes I like speaking to strangers and making small talk. It can really brighten your day ๐
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I think it's quite rare now to see a stranger not on their phone. I had the dentist this morning and everyone in the waiting room were scrolling on phones, the receptionist was picking hers up and checking it while we were waiting too.
Conversations with strangers don't really happen any more, at least in my experience. I was taken off guard by a 'Good morning' on my way to work last week as it happens so rarely.
To be fair, I've never been great at small talk, even before phones, but no one is looking to connect with others anymore as they're looking down at a screen instead
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I've only my cats to talk too
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Not having a smartphone, i'm always that solitary person sat staring into space, or reading a newspaper etc.
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hahahaha so true
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I love looking about or daydreaming. I can't read while moving so don't tend to do that.
I don't know how so many people are happy having their phone out too, it's like walking around waving ยฃ500 about.
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25 years ago everyone was reading a newspaper or magazine in a waiting room. I don't think phones are totally to blame!
I think covid had a bigger impact, removing all socialising for effectively 2 years. My world has never been the same since then, and it does appear that the same happened to everyone else as well, albeit less severely.
Personally I don't have anything to talk about, haven't done anything for over 5 years due to health and living conditions, so I absolutely dread anyone asking me 'how I am' or 'what I've been up to'!
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I hope that you feel you have us to talk to too @Amberpearl ๐
I definitely like to use my phone when I'm waiting at the dentist or doctors, otherwise I feel really awkward as we're all so close to each other! I went to Alton Towers the other day and most people were on their phones. 2 of my friends actually brought a book! They still weren't being sociable but they weren't staring at a screen.
How do we feel about this image? They're still not talking to each other but they're reading newspapers as opposed to being on their phone. Is it more acceptable?
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I purposely go out my way to avoid talking to people, I don't like socialising with people especially people I don't know. It gives me massive anxiety if anyone speaks to me, then later when I'm at home I replay all the different scenarios in my head of what I could of said or done differently which is stressful and I kinda bully myself.
Plus generally people have nothing interesting to talk about, they either complain about something or they talk about something they saw on TV which I have no interest in since I can't stand TV shows or things.
The perfect day for me is being able to go to the shops without anyone even trying to talk to me, which somewhat gets harder at times when you have weekly charity con people hounding every person in sight and ambush you when you go near the shops.
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I live a bit more rural than urban, and it's very common when out in the country to say a quick "hello" to people you pass, although it's less common (though not super rare) to stop and say anything more
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This is very similar to what it is like where I live @66Mustang. I find that dog walkers seem to be more friendly and tend to say hello more often too๐
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Ever since I was a kid I have always preferred my own company, even into adulthood and to this day. it is probably due to me being on the Rainbow Spectrum Rollercoaster for over 43 years, that got another loop added to it in 2023 with BPD. I chose to close off contact with family in 2015 for health reasons, lost friends due to marriage break up and closed contact with lifelong friends as they are on a different path to the one I walk today.
Since my wife decided to exit stage left in 2023, I have seen how people can be opinionated and judgemental. I purposely deleted all of my online social media, especially Facebook where I find that it can act as a trigger for my Anxiety and also my Mental Health. I now live a quiet life behind a closed door, keeping myself to myself and being a private person. I will on occasion have a chat to my elderly neighbours, who have been good to me since I moved into my flat in 2024.
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That's such a good point but I think people still said hello or good morning etc more back then. It doesn't mean much and isn't a 'conversation' but I know it gives me a bit of a boost in my step afterwards.
I agree so much about covid and I can't imagine the impact it had on the younger generations, I know teachers at least have reported massive changes. ๐
@Rachel_Scope, I went to Chessington over the summer and my phone kept me sane in those queues, but it highlighted to me how much it's changed! I went all the time as a child/teen and didn't have phones back then and while the queue was same sort of length, I don't remember finding it anywhere near as difficult to wait, even 10 years ago!
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I guess we just talked back then or maybe we were just happy being in silence for a while @Anhedonia2? I take a folding stool with me so I can just sit and relax. I love engineering so I often take a look at the parts of the rollercoaster and figure out how it works. My friends don't share the same enthusiasm ๐
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https://www.politico.eu/article/social-distance-swedish-style/
ย โFinally no more 2โmeter rule, now Swedes can go back to the usual 5โmeter distance.โ
๐
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You have a potentially dangerous way to learn how the world around you works. The main thing is not to use it when you want to learn more about electric welding or radiation!
๐
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Haha don't worry. I won't be building any rollercoasters or trying any welding ๐
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