Trying my best for my son — Scope | Disability forum

Trying my best for my son

kath1234 Member Posts: 11 Listener
Hi .my son has bipolar but won't take his meds. The Pip process has heightened his condition. He's kept sedated with Valium. I have written posts on this before but in the wrong section. I am four hours away from him and can not go near him whilst he's like this. Doesn't sound very supportive but believe me when I say I spend most of my time dealing with him by phone. I have had to distance myself from the rest of the family cuz I have no energy left 


  • kath1234
    kath1234 Member Posts: 11 Listener
    Well another day of feeling I've let my son down. I lost my first son when he was 10 months old, I couldn't prevent that from happening, though that doesn't stop me feeling guilty. My son is 33 and I'm surprised sometimes he's made it to 33 he is such a tortured soul. I look after my elderly housebound mother as well. They both say 'I don't know where I would be if I didn't have you' do they realise how much pressure that is on me. Maybe it's nearly time for me to give up on myself 

  • Lasian_Alumni
    Lasian_Alumni Member Posts: 659 Pioneering
    Hi @kath1234

    I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, it sounds like you're having a really tough time. Are you receiving any support for yourself? Carers UK website might help with finding some support and advice that is local to you.

    Is your son getting enough support from medical/mental health professionals?
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @kath1234. I am so very, very sorry to read you are in such difficulties.
    I have never yet met the mum of a child with problems who did not express feelings of guilt, even in circumstances where it was absolutely clear that nothing they could have done would have prevented the problem. I felt it too, as a man and the carer to my late daughter, and wondered so very often if there was something I had done or failed to do. Men generally do not seem to express such feelings, but then men seem to much more easily walk away from the problem and leave it to somebody else.
    Like you, it seems, I have lost a child, and I know only too well the horror that that is.
    I don't know if it is still the same, though I suspect it is, but one of the issues we noticed when my daughter was alive was that as long as someone in the family 'coped' help was rarely forthcoming. The greatest help went to those who just collapsed under the pressure, even when their problems were relatively minor. It was not and is not fair.
    So, all I can do is listen, I think, even share a tear or two, but I am here if I can be of any kind of help. Check out Lasian's link to Carers Uk, and maybe look in Parents and Carers generally. I am sure you'll find friends, and you've found one for certain here.
    Warmest best wishes,
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,793 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @kath1234, I've just left a reply to your post on the activity feed but just wanted to let you know that we're thinking of you. As has been said, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot so please make sure that you're looking after yourself too. Do check out Carers UK and let us know how you get on, and we'll advise wherever possible.