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Depression and motivation

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  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    @susan48 I don't think some people have any idea how damaging severe depression and anxiety is - what people don't get is that the very thing you need to 'shake yourself out of it' is the bit that's not working right. Things like motivation, hope, self esteem just get lost when you're depressed. With anxiety you're living in fear all day, every day... Nope, I most definitely didn't choose this
  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    Barbiesnemisis,
    neither did I or anyone suffering with this horrible illness x
  • Waylay
    Waylay Community member, Scope Member Posts: 973 Pioneering
    Thank you both. I'm sorry you're both suffering too, but good to know I'm not alone. 

    It is a very hard road. If, magically, I got the choice to cure my chronic pain syndrome or my mental illnesses, I'd pick mental in a second.
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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello  @Barbiesnemesis   How are you ?  I reading your post on the aspects of motivation.  Caused by depression plus anxiety.

    One the main issues is looking how can you heal yourself not cure.  Heal to ease the symptoms.

    Being a long term suffer I have come to the conclusion of looking at everything that makes us ill.  Could be the time of year.  Autumn and Winter cold damp wet and miserable.  How to cope on a daily basis .  How to eat and be sensible.  Have structures and methods that you can cope with.

    Only recently understanding what makes me the way I am and how I deal with.  Yes us gentlemen have days of lack of energy and get up and go .  Just try to take small steps.

    I see you ladies all have been talking and giving each other support.  That is important.

    I understand myself more over the last few years.  Being part of a mental health charity.  Also giving you support but they may look at your situation.  Have  a look a diets fitness.  Does not mean gyms by way.  Look at coping methods and strategies.

    Could be support meetings, be being the only gent by the way.  Looking at sleep medication, diet and anything else to help and assist you.

    When leaving.  Understand myself more, have built up a folder of things I can deal with.  Most of all try to deal with the day to day which is not easy.  How can I cope, house is a mess.  I am too ill to cook and have a bath or shower.  Want to curl up and die .  Leave me alone.

    I have walked a miles in the shoes.  Had to do something.  Make initial plan each day .  Have planning in a diary.  Make a plan today on Wednesday will do this if I can.

    Say when I am going to eat.  How and when who cares if it is lunch time breakfast.  I do not get wound up.  Mostly I need to know if I do not eat.  Going to be ill and worse.

    I have mini meals in the fridge simple to do and are filling.  Plus in the freezer the same.  Understand I do not wish to eat some days but I have to because.  If I do not then I know I am going to be ill and make myself worse.

    See my posts.

    That is another solution have a coping box .  Put in it what helps you through the day.  Is it a favourite book or poem.  Favourite CD or music.  Favourite things to wear.  Things to comfort and ease the stress the strain of the illness.  Scented oils candles and bath foam.  Have a small booklet of numbers of familiar friends who you can rely on for help and support.  If having a bad day.

    Make a scrap book of memories that you treasure is another solution.

    Lot of it is to find the advice and comfort you need.

    Please come on here to chat and get support as you all have done.

    I have five amazing wonderful friends who I use the messaging service.

    We all support and help each other.

    That helps me as I help them.. 

    Take care

    The one and only Spiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    Victoriad,
    I hate labels but if you don’t have a proper diagnosis then it’s hard to tell people, government people.
    they want labels.

    hope your doing ok x
  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    @thespiceman Thank you for your advice. 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Barbiesnemesis Thank you.  Always try my best to help many people as I can.

    I do know life is not easy and I understand that.

    Keep in touch and always here to listen.

    Take care
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • janejr
    janejr Community member Posts: 149 Pioneering
    I find writing down all the things that are in my head.  Bad thoughts , not wanting to carry on , struggling taking care of myself and my home. Been bad of late. So frustrated not being able to do things , makes me want to scream. 
    Yesterday I was just functioning and trying to pretend all was ok. Then something stupid happened and sent my mood tumbling back down. The blooding washing line broke and my bed sheets went on the mud. Couldn't fix the washing line, was something I would have managed easily , but couldn't now. Nobody wants to feel useless. Have to wait for other people to help me and it kills me inside. 
    Music is a good escape. Love to float of to better place when I listen to music and in my head I can sing and dance. Sorry for being a moaned everyone. I should be trying to help motivate you all. 

    Just having a bad day. Sunny me will be back soon x
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  • janejr
    janejr Community member Posts: 149 Pioneering
    Hi @Victoriad thank you for the grape I've been a miserable moaner for a few days. You know how it goes , I'm going to crawl out of my black hole and get my head on track x
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  • janejr
    janejr Community member Posts: 149 Pioneering
    Thank you @Victoriad I'm having a bad day. I was chatting to a friend and they bought back memories that I'd rather not have. I was married to a wife beating control freak for 20years. It got really bad for me at the end of the relationship and I was frightened for my life. I've had a little cry about the things I went through. Makes me grateful for what I have now. That was then and my life is free of all the fear I had then. I'm safe. Thank you Victoria. I feel much better now. I'm damaged but I'm free
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  • Waylay
    Waylay Community member, Scope Member Posts: 973 Pioneering
     Hugs to all. @janejr I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :/ I was in a 3-year live-in relationship with an abusive arseh*let too. He ground me down to almost nothing with his emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse. I'm lucky that I was starting to understand what was happening when he hit me for the first time, so I left. It took me years to get back to being me, and I've never been quite the same. But good for you! You survived! You're living your life!
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    i can relate to  this. I ws diagnosed as having severe depression after 4  attemts of suicide back in 2004. i also hear voices, bees buzzing inside my head and seeing a black cat. will try and keep my story  short, my first baby died in 1978 of a heart condition and she underwent surgery at just over 5 and half weeks old, unfortunately she died on the operation table. i never got over this but eventally learnt to live with it. as time went on i coped better but she was always in my thoughts and still is. then in 2002 my husband discovered that alder hey hospital still had her internal organs. the alder hey organ retention  was allover the new,  the nightmares began. i couldnt function,i was trying to hold my job down but  i was reliving the whole event over again. loosing a child is unbearable and then finding out they stripped her of her organs, starting the grieving process all over again. after i think 2 yrs we got her organs back apart from her brain and had to have a second funeral to bury them and eventually put her body at rest. i had a grandchild by then and when sleeping i would have nightmares that doctors were chasing me down the street trying to get my grandsons organs. i was running and hiding with him, the nightmares went on for months. then to top it all of, i had a motor bike accident, approx beginning of 2003, that was the last time i worked, my health went from bad to worse both physically and mentally. i put myself to bed and didnt leave my bedroom, i had no motivation to do anything, i felt useless, i didnt want to see or talk with anyone, i didnt eat and became weaker and weaker, i had become institutionalized in my own bedroom. It was then when i made the decision to take my own life, i was so depresed that i didnt want to live anymore, I was admitted onto the mental health unit as i had failed to end my life, my husband came home early that day as he had a strange feeling. that wa my first attempt but wasnt on the ward for very long, then another attempt failed, then another and the last attempt was serious enough to keep me on the ward for just over 6months. i almost died. I was on stronger medication. approx 2 yrs after my marriage of almost 28 yrs i think came to an end. I lost that too. I started having panic attacks,and anxiety attacks
    , i devoloped  an eating disorder, agoraphobia  and then, my physical health. i was diagnosed severe anxiety along with severe depression.with fibro and arthrus and as the months and yrs went by other diognoses.to. i can still feel life is to much of a struggle and have thought about ending my life on many occasions. i have to fight these feelings, i now have 9 beautiful  grandchildren, i am lucky enough to still have both my parent, but my dad has alziemers and my mum has Parkinson's. my brother lives with them but i worry constantly at what is going to become of them,they are both now 80. i struggle to look after myself and feel extremly guilty that i am unable to help my parents out like my brother does.this to affects my depression. ending on a better note, i do try my best not to dig a hole  to big to climb out of again. my parents are not completely  house bound yet and they visit me on a reg bases, reading about other people problems makes me realize that we can help each other
  • janejr
    janejr Community member Posts: 149 Pioneering
    Hello @shazier you have suffered a lot of pain and I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. Life is never easy and sometimes I catch myself saying why me. But then I hear your story and others who have been through such tough times and I see we all bear pain and sufferings. 
    I look at other people and think they must have good lives as they are fit healthy and appear happy. But then we don't know do we really, what struggles and hurt they have had.
    I no longer say why me as feel guilty. I've had a good physical life up to when I was 50 so that was a good run. I now have OA in all of my joints and a disk desease in my back , pain 24/7 with depression and anxiety. I follow a children's cancer charity on FB , now there's something I couldn't cope with. So I try not saying why me anymore. You too lost a child that must be the hardest pain to ever bear.

    You are amongst friends here on scope , we all her trying to cope with what ever ails us and all try to help each other. Please stay in touch and I'm here if you ever need to chat.
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    thank you so much and bless you.I am so  sorry for your suffering to, 
     I to am guilty of saying why me, when I look at the pain some young children have to  go through and just how brave they can be,  then I say
    , I would take there pain as well as my own if i could, it can be so heartbreaking. Yes i  suffer allot of pain in my life now but, like you,  i had a good life until I reached i think, 42 apart from losing my daughter, which f course is a totally different pain and is the worse pain ever at the time but, it does get easier but that pain crops up for the rest of our life and we learn to live with it. I was just 18 when she died so not very old myself either... this was the first real tragedy in my life but  Iv also had a fair good run to.   i have 4 children now 3 daughter and one son... now all adults and 9 adorable grandchildren, youngets just 7weeks old...unfortunately my son is an alcholc and also mental and physical issues and hes only 38:) he to has to claim pip.
    I have to be honest, i dont really mix with anyone anymore and do get very anxious at the thought of chatting and it is  difficult chatting but, I'm feeling allot more relaxed on her than when i first came on, i was desperate for answers and help, im hoping i can keep chatting, im gong to have my bad days with my depression ect but, feel quite proud that i have chatted in the first place) this is a big step for me. i was always a very chatty person and would write a book when messaging others on a pc, im allot slower now as i have to stop and start becasue i to have arthritis which affect all my joints apart from my abows. Its taken me awhile to write this and my back is also say, shut up now, your note is turning into a story lol. so im going to stop again and take a rest, iv had my sleeping pills to and still wide awake. well it be great fro me chatting i really hope i can keep this up and make some lovely friends, everyone has been so kind that iv chatted to s0 far....you take care of yourself, thank you again for your lovely message and hope to chat.

Brightness