Confused and scared

I had perthes disease as a child whch affected my ball joint of my hip 8 years old then and was told by specialist I would need hip replacement in my early 60s I 57 now so my walking is very painful. I have Achalasia where my Esophugus stopped working and the sphincter muscle closed up completely stopping me from drinking and eating I get daily probles drinking fluids and can get very dehydrated this can go on for days leaving me drained and exhausted and in severe pain. I have asthma last year my lungs fill up with fluid and I litalery couldn't breathe and because of Achalasia food contents from my stomach go into my lungs with hurts and make breathing difficult. I was severely abused as a child sexually by school teacher and bullied and beaten by my dad. I now suffer depression stress which I think is PTSD but that' my one I self diagnosed anxiety. I lay on couch all day not wanting to move. 
 I stupidly filled in ESA form myself in about 10 minutes I couldn't explain my how it affects me daily because the the bits to write in was so tiny. My money now has been suspended. My mental health nurse is going to help with appeal and hope DWP gets my medical records. I was dehydrated and in a manic state when filling in form. Can even remember what I written. I am worried sick now. Not even trying to eat losing more weight and got 5 weeks for reply off DWP. I feel suicidal but it will hurt my son. I really have had enough of worrying and being sick in pain alone. 
  The appeal process seems a ot of work and its still up to the dame people. What' The point.