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Depression and motivation

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  • janejr
    janejr Community member Posts: 149 Pioneering
    Hello @shazier I'm glad you've joined us it's a great site and I get a lot of comfort being able to chat to people on here as we are all in the same boat and can relate to each others problems. I can honestly say it's only on here that people understand me. My family try and so does my partner but they don't get it. I get sick of hearing myself saying I'm in pain as it's 24/7. There is so many things need doing around my home it depresses me that I can't do it. I don't want to wait for other people to do it if they've got time I want to do it myself. I used to be fiercely independent never asked anyone for help. Frustrated is how I feel mostly that and tired. It's 4.39 and I'm still awake my body hurts and my brain won't switch off. Going to takes my meds and hope I knock out . Sorry for the moan I'm really glad you've found scope and when we chat again I will try not to be a moaner (lack of sleep no good for me). Will probably sleep most of the bank holiday lol 
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    hi janej, its getting late and i really want to reply now but, my back feels like its breking in half and the mment and relly burning so, im going to reply to your message tomoz, iv been sat at the pc to long and now im relly suffering for it, it really is time for me to come of and go to bed. i took my night meds ages ago but they dnt really help much. pleae dnt think im answering, i willl chat tomoz:) you plese dont apologise for the little moan, its not moaning its just gettingthings of your chet which we all need to do from time to time:) so happy to of found the group and i am feeling a little more relazed communication as its something i d fnd very difficult useally, maybe this is just wht i needed. cht tome and you take carex
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    hi janejr, sorry for late reply. Please don't worry about the moaning, i dont call it as moaning its letting of steam which i think we all need to or we would go crazy. like you i was very independent and get sick of me to but, when we're in so much pain 24/7 its difficult not to express ourselves... we shouldnt worry about, it better to let it out than keep it in, as for the house work, what is that ? I live alone now so i have somene come in once a fortnight to clean the floors,  bathroom good hoovering ect i can no longer do it and was always very house proud. we have to accept that we can n longer do what we used to do, stressing over it just makes us worse. we all have differant standards and being ms house proud for me has long gone. im stressing about the decorating at the moment, her that is say dont stress over the house lol im due to have my bathroom done by the housig soon, there knocking my toilet and bathroom all into oe as you cant swing in a cat around in any room, its very difficult for my daughter helping me in such a small bathroom, when i say small i mean small, bath sink and no room for anything eles so, when shes helping me o n the electric chair to get into the bath and then out, its so frustating because i have to come out of the bathroom and into the loungeto  get dried and dress, there just int the room for two. so if my parts or friend comes while im in the middle of bathing, they have to go nd sit in the kitchen while in getting dried and dressed, very funny design my house but, on the good side, its on ground level and i dont have to move out. its very difficult and painful  using the stairs and the stairs are to narrow to have a stair lift put in, they wont put me a purching stool due to having dizzy spell, yes i go dizzy but im not going to fall of the stool, my daughter will be with, on days when i can barley move at all i sleep downstairs and never go up stair alone. I have fallen down them far to many time. Anyway iv got side tract here about the house. mine need decorating so badly and that does get me down, my brother i s coming to do downstairs during the summer, hopefully the bathroom will be completed. another problem i do have is athma and copd so, im going to be stuck upstairs for a few days with a potty lol. we have to ty and keep ur sence of humour, my depression at the moment is quite stable so, im making the most of the chatting at the moment, x 
  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    do you want t chat susan48 im a good listener
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    i will be here for about another half hr then i will need to come of as I've sat to long now and in quite allot of discomfort and i can hardly feel my fingrers.
  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    @shazier
    im so low just now, so much negative stuff happening and I don’t kmoe what to do.

    its my youngest grandsons 1st Birthday today and Iv only seen him 3 times in his short life, it’s my fault, Iv social anxiety and depression, 

    theres a court case next week, the person pleaded guilty to harassment etc and finally after 3 years of torment he will probably get a slap on the wrist.

    im really struggling every day when all I was is peace , a long long sleep
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    Hi susan48, how are you feeling today? You really must try not to feel guilty about not being able to see your grandson as often as you would like to,its not your fault that you suffer from these conditions, you didn't ask for them, none of us  do... when we suffer from social anxiety depression, agoraphobia etc it is not that easy to just walk out of the door and go out like we used to.Hopefully, your daughter or son understands your health conditions. Could your daughter/ son maybe bring him to see you maybe once a week, fortnight or month? my kids understand my health problem
    and will ask me if I want the little ones up, if I'm having a better day its lovely to see them but, they have to bring them to my house. 
    without being noisy over the harassment court case, I truly hope you get a good result and find some peace over it.
    please take care of your self and try to relax a little, ths is coming from someone that's one of the biggest stress heads going lol easy said than done i know 
    xx

  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    @shazier,

    thanks for for your message. I can’t even remember writing what I did!,

    my son doesn’t understand but my daughter in law does try.

    The court case was today, don’t know the result, computers down, but will try and find out tomorrow.

    i just want peace, you’ll understand that I’m sure.

    you will never know how much it means to me your message. Thank you sooooo much. 

    I do hope you are coping ok  <3

    Susan
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    susan48
     im trying my hardest to occupy my mind at the moment susan, I'm struggling getting around at the moment and in an awful lot of pain so its taking me ages to type to but, being back on the pc is helping a little by distracting me and keeping my brain ticking a little. also helping a little with  just reading other peoples post and knowing im not on my own struggling through life. I am the kind of person that likes to help others, i have always been like that so, if i can help someone with just one message,  i have achieved something and that makes me feel a little better knowing that i might have brought comfort to someone. I'm trying to help others and hopefully, that will help me just as much:)

    I do understand that you want peace and know exactly what you mean.xx
    I'm more than happy to chat with you when Im able.
    If i don't get straight back, please don't think i don't care or cant be bothered., I just struggling too much some days and its not always easy for me chat. feel free to private message me if you like then i cant miss any of your messages.:)
    shaz xxx

  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    what i meant by private message is inbox me :)
  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    @shazier,

    your a treasure x

    im pretty drained today but hopefully when I get the court resultit will hopefully put that to rest.

    please don’t give it a second thought, I know people on this forum genuinely care and are a lifeline.

    A massive thanks to you and everyone.

    I also am her to listen, anytime.
    as like you, I may not reply straight away but I try and will as soon as I can.

    too much anxuand stress today so going to try to sleep!

    Take cars and I Sincerely thank you x
  • shazier
    shazier Community member Posts: 82 Pioneering
    susan 48
    bless you and thank you so much also..fingers crossed for the tomoz or should i say my arms at the moment, i really hope you get the result you deserve from the court. Hopefully, you will sleep through tonight, sleep tight night night and thank you so much for your friendships, i really do appreciate it. xx 
  • Yadnad
    Yadnad Posts: 2,856 Disability Gamechanger
    Depression, lacking motivation I have felt like that since the mid 90's. There is a reason for it which I accept but more importantly I just knew I had to find a way out of it. There was no magic cure for me. Years of counselling, engagement with the Mental Health system, spending time under section in a locked ward, you name it all added to the feelings of not believing in myself - no self worth.

    Then eight years ago someone asked me why was I wasting my time away. For the first time I opened up to him explaining where I thought the source came from. Eventually with his support I learned that whilst I can't change the events I can do something about how I live my life with past events.

    He suggested that I should go along to a PTA meeting with him in the local primary school. After about 6 months I started to enjoy meeting people that were previously strangers and learning how to cope and adapt to the world around me.

    Cut a long story short, it was the children that made a difference to me. Eventually I was voted to be the chairman. Then three years ago the then mayor who was someone I had met previously suggested that I would make a good town councillor as I had the community in my heart.

    So in May 2015 I signed up and went to the count. I stood as an independent and not expecting anything to come of it. I was elected, in fact with the second highest number of votes knocking off two long standing Tory town councillors.

    I have never looked back, I have adapted my life to be able to cope. Yes I still get depressed but I now see it as not helping me go forwards. My life still has restrictions but with determination I find ways around the feeling of loneliness and depression.

    Going forward I will be standing again next May as a town councillor  AND as a councillor for the District! 

    I may bear the physical scars of the event, but the mental ones I have put in a box that I no longer need to open. I know that they are there but as time goes on they become less intrusive.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 1,741 Listener
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  • Yadnad
    Yadnad Posts: 2,856 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks. I had to dig deep, too deep and distressing at times. All of the professional help I have had meant nothing in the end. As you say it is down to the individual to want to do something about it. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a strong person I just needed that bit of a push to get the ball rolling. Small steps - big mountains!
    I am still fearful when I hear a loud bang, but no longer go into the flight or fight scenario. 
    If what I have done helps just one person to start to believe in themselves  then I am a very happy guy.
  • flynn18
    flynn18 Community member Posts: 12 Listener
    Hi suffer with depression and anxiety and yes it's horrid I call mine the devil on my back any tips I can offer is meditation it helps me I use one to guide healing angels through to help me been using it now for 2 nights  and it' helping me its' on YouTube xx

Brightness