wonder if you can help — Scope | Disability forum

wonder if you can help

briare Member Posts: 2 Listener
Hi Sam, wonder if you can help please? My husband has been unable to get an erection for 9 yrs now.. he has heart failure, kidney disease, diabetes so is on lots of medication. can anything be done.  


  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    Hello!  I think my first port of call would be your GP or consultant for a frank discussion about whether this is to do with medication (ie, a side effect), and whether there are any other options available that might alleviate that.  It's generally accepted that doctors aren't always very good at raising the issue of sexual function and enjoyment, but it's really important and should be something that they respect and respond to.   Moving on from that - the fact that you've asked the question points to this being is a concern within your relationship, whether it's for one or both of you.  I suppose where I'm going with it is that sex doesn't need to be penetrative for it to be enjoyable , as lots of couples can't or don't choose to have penetrative sex, and it doesn't affect intimacy or enjoyment. it's just that their sex looks different.  Functional sex does change, but if it's causing issues with your intimate life together then I think it might be worth asking for a referral for psychosexual counselling through the consultant or specialist that your husband is under.  This sounds alarming but (hopefully!) isn't - what it could do is help with returning to a sex life that you are both happy with, even if it is different to how it used to be.  That might be the case going forward too - it might  be that erections are a challenge, but it doesn't mean that there can't be any sex.  The other thing of course is that your husband's consultant might also be able to prescribe something to support his erections, which could improve things too?  
    - Gill 
  • Markmywords
    Markmywords Member Posts: 419 Pioneering
    edited August 2018
    I totally agree with @PSHEexpert . My experience has been that my GP became very uncomfortable with the subject and was unable/unwilling to help.
    A referral to a Urologist would be useful.
    Being unable to perform can bring shame and anger. It can put pressure on a relationship.
    The usual "blue pill" option would possibly be dangerous for someone with heart trouble.