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How did you meet your partner

CPfighter1990
CPfighter1990 Community member Posts: 14 Connected
Hi 

I was just wondering how you and your partner met? I’m currently single and looking for a relationship. I have cerebral palsy online dating doesn’t seem to work. Is your partner disabled or able bodied? 

Comments

  • CPfighter1990
    CPfighter1990 Community member Posts: 14 Connected
    Is he able or disabled?
  • essjay
    essjay Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    what difference does that make?

  • essjay
    essjay Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    PS I'm the one with a disability

  • CPfighter1990
    CPfighter1990 Community member Posts: 14 Connected
    I was just wondering as I wish everyone would stop saying it’s better if people with disability should also be with fellow people who have disabilities. I don’t think that should be the case, you can’t help who you fall in love with at the end of the day.
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    There is a much higher preponderance of physical and mental abuse in relationships where both are disabled but most healthy people will not accept being in a relationship with someone who is disabled unless the relationship starts before the disability. Often, the mere mention of disability on most dating sites will make a person a leper but then secrecy isn't the answer either as someone is unlikely to generate trust with someone who lies about it.

    I met my first wife through work and travelling there on the same bus. My second wife through a squash club. My last relationship started by meeting someone through a web site for divorced and separated. Since then I have had a few offers (since I became disabled) through living locally to them or meeting through help groups and I had hoped these would be lasting friendships but instead the idea of dating occurred to them and I lost them.

    Now it is more difficult to meet people but always consider going to help groups like those run by MIND or by local charities as this will at least generate friendships and maybe to more, just never appear desperate or over-enthusiastic as this is a negative signal.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,638 Scope online community team
    I met my wife in a pub where she hammered me at pool in front of all of my mates and then downed a pint. I knew then that he was the one for me! :D:D  
    Scope
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  • CPfighter1990
    CPfighter1990 Community member Posts: 14 Connected
    That’s great 
  • Becky270
    Becky270 Community member Posts: 5 Connected
    Hi! I met my partner Dan on the app Bumble. I wasn't actually looking to get into a relationship, I just wanted to get my confidence back and meet new people after being in an abusive relationship. 8 months on, we're living together and totally in love. Good Luck! PS, I  talk lots about dating and relationships with a disability on my blog: https://headoverwheelsx.com/ 
    Becky smile  
    X
  • surfygoose
    surfygoose Community member Posts: 429 Pioneering
    I met my lovely girlfriend on holiday. It was on an activity holiday for people with disabilities.
  • Kimmy87
    Kimmy87 Community member Posts: 278 Pioneering
    I have long term health problems that I am very very upfront about. I manage a great deal of activity day to day for how poor my health is, but only due to funding it all with a constant cycle of rest, pacing and afternoon naps. 

    I was off and on PoF for around 10 years, in January I went on a date and we have been together ever since.

    I was then in a car accident the next night, so instead of meeting again for sex at the end of that week we had to wait three weeks to meet up again, until I was healed! 

    He is able bodied, apart from an old knee injury that bothers him occasionally. It was a very bad injury so I think recovering from that taught him a lot about disability. 

    My health hasn't gotten in the way, he is very attentive and understanding if I express a need.
    Occasionally sex positions need to be a little different so I can manage, which he has absolutely no issues with  ;)
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,519 Disability Gamechanger
    We meet in the pub, I was 21 sm was 19, tbh I was blind drunk and she stood me up on the date we made, but we got together a few weeks later and got engaged after 5 weeks, neither of us were disabled at the time but we both have disabilities now, but we also have 2 kids and 2 grandkids and I love her as much today as I did all those years ago, she is my rock.
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

  • Steve_in_The_City
    Steve_in_The_City Scope Member Posts: 554 Pioneering
    What @Ami2301 said is true. Don't look for love. Love will somehow find you. There is a song "love comes from unexpected places". And love does come from unexpected places.

    For myself, I was a deeply troubled type of boy. I was 17. I was in deep trouble with the police. To be honest, if there wasn't a policeman in close proximity it was a rare day. Yet I just struggled and fought, and I fought back. And as the song says "the miller tells his tale".

    But as boys go, I was completely and absolutely lost. Just lost. There wasn't a moment in space or time when a boy could have been more lost than me. 

    Then I met my partner. It wasn't quite the typical pub pick-up (although pretty close).  He was older than me by 25 years, but that didn't matter. I was just a lost boy living in a lost world, but he made everything good and safe for me and suddenly I wasn't lost anymore, Not being lost is the best thing that can happen to you.


  • Superbetty
    Superbetty Community member Posts: 448 Pioneering
    Love everyone's stories:-) But, I am very romantic person:-) I met my prince (that is how I call him) online, and I will always recommend this way to everyone,as I know a lot of peope who will meet online, and they live happily ever after:-) You just need to be patient, I know it is hard, I went through nighmare while being online. But it is like in real life, not everyone is nice and not everyone likes you. That is what I was always telling myself, not everyone is in my type, and I am not in everyone's type, this is completely normal. No need to feel bad about yourself if someone does not like you. This is life. But, I did meet my prince after all:-)All the best to you:-)
  • Melioraaa
    Melioraaa Scope Member Posts: 3 Listener
    I met my husband in 2016 at a music night - a metal gig at the local rock club. :smile:
  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community member Posts: 709 Pioneering
    Met my wife 31 years ago ... (married 17 years next week) when I carried her through a big puddle walking from one pub to another

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