To the woman who tutted at me for using an accessible toilet - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum
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To the woman who tutted at me for using an accessible toilet

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Comments

  • jae377
    jae377 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    I get this all the time, My spinal cord damage (amongst other things)  causes "issues" below the my waist and means that walking is painful difficult and slow and I fall a lot, when I need a toilet it is urgent as the "early warning" signs one usually gets are absent (urge incontinence). I also need the support rails in disabled toilets. 
    Not only do I get glared at but quite often I have to wait to discover that the toilet is being used by women rather than queue for the ladies. Conversations with  accompanying friends make it plain that this is the case not a hidden disability.
  • loy
    loy Community member Posts: 4 Listener
    Just by reading these comments it seems to me that people in wheel chairs are very judgemental. 
    There is actually no law against people with out disability’s using a disabled toilet. I am visually impaired and find stairs nearly impossible so I would need to use disabled toilets if there wasn’t a lift to ordainsry toilets 
  • AnneMcC
    AnneMcC Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    I am annoyed with people who think it is ok to use the disabled toilet to save them having to wait in a queue. I've heard of people doing that
  • jae377
    jae377 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    loy said:
    Just by reading these comments it seems to me that people in wheel chairs are very judgemental. 
    There is actually no law against people with out disability’s using a disabled toilet. I am visually impaired and find stairs nearly impossible so I would need to use disabled toilets if there wasn’t a lift to ordainsry toilets 
    Do not understand your comment. disabled toilets are for just that disabled people, it is a sad day when one demands that the law is used rather than common decency and good manners to enforce toilet use.  Nowhere does it state that the disability has to be a mobility issue. Your visual impairment is just as much a disability as others mobility issues although it would appear you do not wish to view it that way.


  • loy
    loy Community member Posts: 4 Listener
    Other people don’t 
  • Gavel
    Gavel Community member Posts: 15 Connected
    We used to have a Closomat loo which I bought in a local auction. We now have a Bio Bidet at home which is a toilet seat with a douche. I've adapted our old camper van so that Sue with PPMS can use the loo and I can shower her if needed. Life is good.
  • cracker
    cracker Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    @Sam_Scope,

    What a sad lesson in lack of sensitivity, empathy and downright decency.
    I have an **** gland prolapse, which can be very embarrassing  and more., I have to deal wit h it every day.

    So I have an idea of how troubling your condition is. My friends think it off that I get up and visit the toilet so often. I carry extra undies with me wherever I go.

    I do agree about the reactions in the disability community. Psychiatric illnesses also ignored, seen as fakes who just want to be on benefits.

    It is so good to have the understanding and support here. I read all your posts, and you are a terrific person.


  • Leandros
    Leandros Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    My adult son is autistic and though he looks 'normal' he has many severe mental problems, and needs me to take him to the toilet - for one thing, he has IBS and has trouble wiping - and I'm so fed up with people having a go. I used to ignore thwm, now I tell them that mental health disabilities are as important as physical health ones, and how would they feel if they were disabled in a way that couldn't be seen, and someone had a go at them? It makes me so angry! I think there should be a sign on disabled toilet doors to say that not all disabilities can be seen, and people don't have to be in a wheelchair to need to use the toilets.
  • Gordonmrln
    Gordonmrln Community member Posts: 35 Courageous
    Dear Sam, I totally understand where you are coming from as both myself and my late wife where Disabled. Although my Disability was quite obvious as I suffer from OA (Osteo Arthritis) and I used a walking stick and when it was really bad a wheelchair, so people seeing me could not question my Disability. However, in my wife's case, it was a different kettle of fish, my wife suffered from a serious heart condition which comprised of Cardio-myopathy and Arythmere she also had a floppy heart valve which constantly caused blood to seep back into the heart, so my wife needed to be on warfarin constantly plus a boatload of other medication, she also had an ICD implant fitted under her skin near her heart, and this was like having your own paramedic should the heart fail or go into such a rhythm that it was at a dangerous rate then the unit shocks the heart back to a stable level. But to look at my wife there were no visible signs that she was such a poorly person, and one day we were visiting a local garden centre and we pulled up into the Disabled parking space, whereas my was getting out of her side of the car she could see this couple giving her a look of disbelief, and she just shouted out it's a pity people can't see when you have a heart condition, and she gave the couple a glancing stare. And then she just closed the car door and was away into the garden centre without another thought, she sais once we were inside that felt really good, I'm sick of people looking at me everytime I get out of the car in a Blue badge space as though I have no right to be there, that might make them think twice she said. Sadly I lost my wife recently but she was a fighter for those with disabilities that could not be clearly identified, and I know she would have put her thoughts and support down here for you Sam so I've done it on her behalf, you keep on fighting those ignorant people who clearly have not got a clue on people in general, they walk around with blinkers on and can't see past the end of their nose. Sad that life is full of these idiotic and bad mannered people, but I've noticed that they soon change their view when they or somebody close to them is affected by some Disabling condition and then by some miracle they totally change how they view Disabled people in the world, Sad that this has to happen before people stop to think about other people in general. Good luck Sam and keep on the Fight for your right to party.  ;):)  
  • hackport
    hackport Community member Posts: 11 Listener
    Hey Sam,
    just wanted to say a big thank you for the blog which really helped me when I had op for crohns and ostomy? So good to hear from someone who has lived through stuff. On the toilet issue, I failed to persuade employer to keep disabled loo locked so only disabled could use, sooo full ostomy bag, change needed- no loo available, that was a nightmare time!
  • Ara
    Ara Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi all! 
    I'm not in a position where I need to use disabled toilets but I did notice something in my local Morrisons store just last week. The disabled toilets now have a sign outside reminding everyone that not all disabilities are obvious to try to help those who do need to use them get fewer looks and snarky comments. I have also read recently that every single store has a quiet hour on a Saturday morning for people who find noisy busy environments difficult to handle, which is where my needs come in. They dim the lights, turn down the volumes on the tills and don't play any music. They also advertise outside that it is a quiet hour and encourage other customers to respect that. Other supermarkets are also trialling it in some of their stores. A quick e-mail from customers to their head offices, detailing what other companies are doing, is often all it takes to plant the seed for more places to follow suit. A simple note on a toilet door would save a lot of people the embarrassment of other people's comments.
  • janice_in_wonderland
    janice_in_wonderland Community member Posts: 265 Pioneering
    I have been on the receiving end of misjudgement... being asked whats wrong with me - maybe people need to be more educated to leave others alone who are already suffering enough... getting to a toilet in time means alot! I cant go anywhere unless I know I can use a toilet - its a challenge every day! 
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you so much for such lovely comments, I am glad this has got us talking about someone that effects so many people!
    Scope
    Senior online community officer

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