Hello @Tigger30

Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. My partner has severe anxiety and just lost her mother to cancer as well. It is not easy by any means. It's been a couple of months, and my partner is still not ready to face the real world. So please don't feel like you're supposed to be handling this better regardless how much time has passed. As Sam said above, grief affects people differently. You just lost the most important person in your life, its okay to be upset and be emotional. It's okay to cry and let it out, talk about her constantly, reminisce and think about the beautiful memories. This may help a bit. Other ways that my partner has been getting through it which may help you is by writing to her mother, reading grief books (when bad things happen to good people by Harold Kushner and healing grief by Barbara Ward), and spending time/talking with family constantly. She is still considering going to a grief group which I have been told really helps and provides the support you may need through this hard time. You’re stronger than you think. Hoping these poems below as well as the love surrounding you gives you some comfort. Thinking of you
 
Remember Me

"To the living, I am gone, 
To the sorrowful, I will never return, 
To the angry, I was cheated, 
But to the happy, I am at peace, 
And to the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot speak, but I can listen. 
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard. 
So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea, 
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity, 
Remember me.

Remember me in your heart: 
Your thoughts, and your memories, 
Of the times we loved, 
The times we cried, 
The times we fought, 
The times we laughed. 
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone."

Death is nothing  at all
“Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. 
Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. 
Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. 
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. 
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? 
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. 
All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!” 
― Henry Scott Holland