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Trigger Self harm and ending Life thoughts
filly
Member Posts: 32 Connected
Where to start as I'm feeling so overwhelmed ...
My partner of 4 yrs told me that he wanted to end our relationship and to get out of his house ...
I have no family or friends so he and our cats are my whole life.
I have borderline personality disorder dependancy, ptsd, and other issues,
I don't know what to do ?? thoughts of self-harm and ending everything!
He also has mental health problems.
He has also been out of hospital after a bye-pass operation which he blames me for.
My partner of 4 yrs told me that he wanted to end our relationship and to get out of his house ...
I have no family or friends so he and our cats are my whole life.
I have borderline personality disorder dependancy, ptsd, and other issues,
I don't know what to do ?? thoughts of self-harm and ending everything!
He also has mental health problems.
He has also been out of hospital after a bye-pass operation which he blames me for.
Replies
You can find more information on mental health here at https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
Are you seeing a counseller or therapist? Ask for a referral to mental health services. What medication are you taking?
Can I ask where you're staying right now and does he own the house?
Please remember you're not alone and we're here to support you. But if you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide it's really important you speak to someone who's trained and equipped to help you. Have you thought about giving Samaritans a call (116 123) or emailing them ([email protected])?
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I thought about the samaritans but they don't give any solutions ....
I have the cats with me upstairs ,they are trying to help me calm down
Alternatively, you could call our helpline (open until 8pm) on 0808 800 3333
Obviously with him only having been out of hospital a week, I imagine there’s a bit of tension in the house anyway. Is it possible he’ll calm down and be open to discussion at all?
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I am keeping out of the way, by been upstairs. There is a lot of tension in the house, but keeping out of his way. Is giving him space ??
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Sadly he told me he doesn't want or love me just want me out of his life and home!
I am so frightened and scared ...
I'm also scared of what I might do the urge to self-harm is looming ...
Trying so hard to calm down
dreading everything. My mind won't stop racing panic mode
I've been through hell in my life and I don't think I could even start over my life for this last 4 yrs has been him.I am totally dependant on him for everything
Where do I go, no money and my cats are the only things thats stopping me taking my life at the moment.
I don't have any friends or family
Talk to your GP. Ask him about accessing mental health services. He/she will evaluate your circumstances and come up with a plan of action. Are you seeing a therapist or counseller or not?
Also have you called a domestic violence shelter for help? There are resources out there. Google them first to see what assistance and help can be given. Best of wishes!
Do you have a job?
Maybe your partner is feeling overwhelmed from it all, the surgery and mental health problems. Not an easy combination to conquer. Was your partner like this before his surgery?
Most of the time was good between us.
No, I don't have a job. I have panic attacks, nearly impossible leaving the house without him,. if I need to leave the house he or his mum takes me. I'm totally dependant on him.
I have spoken to his mum. Keep out of his way , maybe he will calm down ???
If not what are you going to do ?
She is taking him to A+E when he gets up ,as he's in so much pain . I am also worried about him ....
I am one of the team of community champions. We guide, advise and help members of our community.
Please if I can suggest have the contact details for Women's Aid.
Helpline 0808 2000 247
https://www.womensaid.org.uk.
This might help you.
If you having domestic problems and need to find some help and support.
I am sure if you contact the following may be able to help you.
https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk.
Helpline 020 7367 4500.
https://www.redcross.org.uk.
Useful in a crisis .
You mentioned your mental health issues. Please consider the following mental health charity.
https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.
Can help with any support with your mental health. Get floating support or an outreach worker.
Help and guidance with your mental health.
Please if we can help with anything please get in touch.
Please keep safe and take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
I'm sorry to hear about your current situation, but thank you for sharing this with us. I hope the operation goes well this morning, are you doing okay? I appreciate this is a lot to take in.
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The pressure got to me that I have cut myself to release the pain . I am ok feeling calmer just going to keep out of his way . The doctor is ringing me away tommow ,so I will tell the doctor .
I'm ok not going to do anything else !!!
I don't need A+ E or mental health team ...
Still hoping he will change his mind ,as I've got to go to the hospital to pick up more medication for him.
So tonight I'm fine !
Blaming you for the by-pass operation is both childish and abusive and some of the other things you mention are definitely emotionally abusive. We all control our own bodies and diet and obviously he hasn't done a good job so he wants to blame someone else for a problem of his own making. I would also guess his harping on about the pain is him selfishly looking for sympathy.
I think you should contact the CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau) as you will hopefully have some rights to remain in the house, at least in the short term. I suspect his abusive attitude is to hammer you down so that you don't start thinking about your legal rights.
Married or not, if you have lived together long enough, you should be classed as a "Common Law Wife" giving you many reasons to prevent his chucking you out.
Basically your other half needs to grow up and accept responsibility for his problems caused by his chosen lifestyle.
Sorry this may sound a bit harsh but considering his treatment of you I think what I have posted is valid.
TK
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I have spoken to my GP tonight ,I'm to see her in person on Friday to see if I need to be seen my the mental health team . I told her I would be ok till Friday as sadly the harming as taken the panic away for now.
I am barred from the living room and to stay in my room with my cats, otherwise he will dump me back at the women's refuse !
This is my biggest fear homeless again and been alone !
I'm glad you managed to speak to your GP and that there are plans in place to see them, it's a really positive step for you to speak to them and I hope you can get the support you need.
I know you've been given the websites and numbers for a lot of support groups in this post so I won't repeat them but do consider whether speaking to someone like Women's Aid might help you? They are experts in offering support around issues like this and they might be able to help.
Senior online community officer
She told him she would, but as agreed with me she won't.
She will teld him that she has! This has made me feel worse,how could he even suggest it ??
I'm not to speak to him, be as quiet as I can. Otherwise not to be in the same room.
Is the mother said the only reason that im not on the street with the cats, is that ive got nowhere to go and nobody.
It is out of pity hes letting me stay, this has upset me quite a lot!
Then on the other hand that he might take me back?? As there still is something?
You feel I can imagine betrayed, isolated, lonely and feel where and who to turn to.
Then things happen they just do.
Love, relationships who knows what is in the mind of your partner.
Us men can be difficult, hard to fathom out and misunderstood.
I do understand what is important in your mind is this notion is he ever going to want me back your fighting a losing battle the good memories, the good times are in your heart and mind.
I am not a harsh, insensitive gent never have been but if there is a ray of hope you have a decision to make.
This is to think of your life with out your partner. I know that hurts me to say it and I can understand your pain.
Understand right now you stressed, anxious head and heart over the place.
You need please if I can suggest. Look at the links provided in previous posts. I know you do probably have thoughts want to save this relationship . I agree maybe but if he is not listening then you need to consider options.
You need to be strong have courage find what information is available to you and use it.
Several of the organisations have there own welfare and housing schemes. Also consider what many others have been telling you and giving you some support .
I would right now seek the advice, guidance of those people start making plans right now.
I understand right now what your going through. I wish I could do more.
I do not wish to dwell on the past but the future has to be looking after you and your own self. Your important, valued member of our community you need to know that you can move on find joy and happiness.
You can find some where to live remain independent and cope with anything that comes your way.
It is time for you to be brave, have strength.
Remember your not alone. You have the community to listen give you a lot of support. Ready to answer anytime.
There is help and support what you need to do is to think clearly, be positive and have the courage to make the first steps.
Please can I add one final thing . If you had a friend who is going through all of this. Heart ache, pain, mental anguish and trauma, anxiety.
What would you be telling them to do right now with a clear conscious.?
Something to consider.
I am here anytime if I can be supportive.
Please take care of your self. I have concerns and care about our community members .
Always in prayers.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
A glimmer of hope, he spoke to me, asked me if I was ok?
I take this as a positive !!
I hope this is ?? He knows im going to the doctors, and in his mind leave for good. Yes even if I am right, ive still go to learn to stand on my own two feet.
I do love him, maybe too much.
I know that I do not on any account go back to refuse and be homeless!
That won't end well, as my mindset .
I have thought about it many times, and I decided no more enough is enough!
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I have been to the doctors, I'm been referred back to mental health. Although she did say did feel any worse I would need the mental health team.
I told her that I can wait! I see her a wk on Monday but I'm to ring if I can't cope.
As to the other situation and I'm able to cope by keeping out of the way, as I wanted to get back to my partner. His mother said he will not throw me out!
The doctor has warned me it will take possibly a long time to rebuild it at all.
But she was happy to let things ride out...
I do plan to get more independent and learn to be normalized as such...
To ease my current situation I am sadly rehoming one of my cats Sophia tomorrow. This is for her sake, she is going to a lovely home.
I am sad about it as I breed Sophia myself and she won many prizes at the cat shows. But this is best for her and my other two Sophias mother Mia and baby daughter Gracie she is 10mths old.
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I'm really quite concerned about how you're being treated in this situation. Can I ask if you'd be okay with us contacting you via the email address you used to register this account to discuss the offer of additional support?
Best wishes,
Adrian
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.
I've sent you the email we discussed previously, I hope you receive it soon and will consider the offer of some additional support.
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I am really happy normality has totally restored no sitting on the stairs etc. He has been off his morphine so I think hes more or less out of pain. He goes for his check-up next Friday. Thank you all for been there for me!
Although lessons learn im going to get more independent and stand of my own 2 feet.
Have you got anything planned for today?
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