Frustration — Scope | Disability forum
New to the community? Remember to read our community guidelines and our community house rules.
Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Find out how to let us know.

Frustration

Why are they such idiots that believe one thing and only that , At a young age I’ve been used by men for their sexual enjoyment and I wasn’t aware it was wrong at the time and I just went along with it , yet about 3/4 people all did simula things :-( , I couldn’t go to the police because it’s bringing it all up and it’s been a very hard journey trying to forget it all 

Comments

  • Roddy
    Roddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    Why are they such idiots that believe one thing and only that , At a young age I’ve been used by men for their sexual enjoyment and I wasn’t aware it was wrong at the time and I just went along with it , yet about 3/4 people all did simula things :-( , I couldn’t go to the police because it’s bringing it all up and it’s been a very hard journey trying to forget it all 
    Hello @GamerGirl37,

    I am obviously very sorry to learn of this, and I cannot even begin to imagine  what you have had to deal with... It is 'easy' for me to tell you this, but you must NEVER blame yourself for what has happened, and I would truly 'try' to seek professional help with this matter. Going to the police would not be the right thing to do, in my opinion, but please don't suffer in silence anymore. 

    Please 'think' about using this link:

    https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/national-helplines

    Take care & Best Wishes

    Rodders


  • GamerGirl37
    GamerGirl37 Member Posts: 97 Pioneering
    I don’t know what hell I can get as I’ve put it all behind me but there all triggers which cause my panic attacks , it’s just when explaining parts to people who I think will believe me theyy don’t because the people are friends ect , my ex is in jail thankfully , and the other people who were nasty to me just I’ve tried to push them out of my life but I do wish I could get people to believe me .... 
  • GamerGirl37
    GamerGirl37 Member Posts: 97 Pioneering
    In a way I do blame myself but not fully as I never realised what was happening until learning about more in school and past work , just wish I could turn back time to make sure it wouldn’t take place 
  • Roddy
    Roddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    I don’t know what hell I can get as I’ve put it all behind me but there all triggers which cause my panic attacks , it’s just when explaining parts to people who I think will believe me theyy don’t because the people are friends ect , my ex is in jail thankfully , and the other people who were nasty to me just I’ve tried to push them out of my life but I do wish I could get people to believe me .... 
    You are a very brave girl, and by opening-up to SCOPE is perhaps the most bravest thing you have done.  It is not easy, but 'friends' or people that you know are not best placed to help you with this. I cannot stress enough how important it could be for you @GamerGirl37 to contact that helpline I gave you. THEY will not judge you, they will help you, and help you better than anybody else can. You owe it to yourself to do this. You don't owe anybody else anything. It won't be easy for you, but you have made a giant leap already...  
  • GamerGirl37
    GamerGirl37 Member Posts: 97 Pioneering
    I don’t know if I can , because it’s bringing it all back and I’m not wanting it to happen , I’ve only said on scope because of a past convention I’ve had to tell someone abo it what happened years ago and he doesn’t believe me 
  • Roddy
    Roddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    In a way I do blame myself but not fully as I never realised what was happening until learning about more in school and past work , just wish I could turn back time to make sure it wouldn’t take place 
    You cannot change or alter what happened to you personally. BUT, you can make sure that those people do not do this again, to you or to anybody else. You have it in you to make a difference, and with that will come the peace in your mind. Slowly but surely, you can overcome this. 
  • GamerGirl37
    GamerGirl37 Member Posts: 97 Pioneering
    It’s weird though , because after I told one of the guys I was going to stop what he wanted me to do , soon after he gets with another girl and now their engaged ..... and the other people I’ve not spoken to in ages they just don’t see the damage they could and have caused pack then 
  • Roddy
    Roddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    It’s weird though , because after I told one of the guys I was going to stop what he wanted me to do , soon after he gets with another girl and now their engaged ..... and the other people I’ve not spoken to in ages they just don’t see the damage they could and have caused pack then 
    Only YOU can feel the damage that was caused, and that is completely understandable. It is also understandable that you have blamed yourself, BUT, you have grown to understand that what happened to you was very wrong, no matter what. You are blameless. Totally blameless... W could speak about this all night long, and yes, I would listen and understand, but I still stick by what I advised and that is for you to speak with those who truly understand and can help you much more than anybody else can with this. Trust me with this...
  • GamerGirl37
    GamerGirl37 Member Posts: 97 Pioneering
    I will think about it for the future , I could easily do it if it wasn’t long ago but since it’s been years it’s like why bring up the past when I’m happy and engaged myself just getting through life step by step 
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,565 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2019
    Hi @GamerGirl37 and thank you for being so open and honest, that cannot have been an easy thing to do. It is completely up to you whether you access support, but here is a list of helplines that you might find useful if you would like to talk about things in the future. 

    Talking about things like this can be incredibly painful and ignoring it is a very common coping mechanism. Mind have offered the following information:

    Want to talk to someone?

    If there is anything we can do then please let us know. 
    Scope

  • GamerGirl37
    GamerGirl37 Member Posts: 97 Pioneering
    Thank you everyone , it has been a big subject which I don’t know how I’ve dealt with so well from growing up 
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,565 Disability Gamechanger
    It can be amazing what things we can carry with us, but I know that doesn't make it any easier.

    Support can be offered whenever we need it and if it was something you wanted to talk about then your GP should be able to make a referral to see a therapist.

    You don't have to deal with this alone if you don't want to. I hope you are able to have a lovely weekend.
    Scope

  • pollyanna1052
    pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi, a relative of mine was sexually abused as a child, by another relative. She told no-one and suffered with mental health issues because of it, as an adult.

    She eventually sought help and was advised to write a letter to her abuser (now deceased), mentioning all her bottled up feelings and then she burned the letter.

    She told me she felt a great sense of relief and her own mis-placed feelings of guilt vanished.

    Might this be of help to you Game Girl?

Brightness

Do you need advice on your energy costs?


Scope’s Disability Energy Support service is open to any disabled household in England or Wales in which one or more disabled people live. You can get free advice from an expert adviser on managing energy debt, switching tariffs, contacting your supplier and more. Find out more information by visiting our
Disability Energy Support webpage.

Fancy a chat in our virtual coffee lounge?

Put the kettle on and have a chat in our coffee lounge with other members. We talk about hobbies, games and anything else you can think of!

Cerebral Palsy (CP) Online Cafe

Here's a new opportunity for people with CP or a similar disability (aged 20+) to get together and chat. The sessions are in partnership with CP Sport so you can find out more and meet people from both organisations.

Are you struggling?

Read our 'Coping with stress, low mood and isolation' support thread for a run-down of ideas on how to banish those blues and feel happier.

What do you think about the community?

Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community a better space for you.

Information about COVID-19

If you have questions about the virus, please read our information and support which includes guidance on benefits, getting food and essentials and Cerebral Palsy.

Back to school this September?

Read tips on how to settle back in and handle any worries you or your children might be having this new term.