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Worries over adult children?

maplemaple Member Posts: 5 Courageous
Does anyone have heartbreaking worries over adult children here? 

Replies

  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Scope community team Posts: 7,984 Scope community team
    Hello @maple. I'm really sorry to read you're so worried about your adult child. Is there anything in particular concerning you?
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    @maple

    Hi and welcome to the community. :)

    Completely with you on heartbreaking worries over adult children! 

    I have son (24) with severe autism and mild brain damage. 
    He lives in supported living. 

    And daughter (27) with pcos, fibro and borderline personality disorder. Currently moving into her own place but we're taking it slow and gradual. 

    I sometimes worry about what happens to them in the future when hubby and I are no longer here. 
    But mostly we try to concentrate on the here and now and just giving support. 

    What about you? Do you feel able to talk about your worries at all? 
  • maplemaple Member Posts: 5 Courageous
    Thank you and It is lovely to hear from people. Yes, two adults with struggles and I am alone. My lovely son, who was lively and well liked, has been out of work and hiding from life for ten years. He is homeless, sofa surfing with me. His job came to an end three times unexpectedly due to production ending. After a while of unsuccessful applications for work, problems with benefits etc, he just gave up and has now resigned himself to no expectations for any kind of life. I am grateful every day that he is well and getting to be cheerful around me, so there is a bit of progress, considering how closed down he was. Thank you for saying to take each day as it comes. I already feel not entirely alone. 
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    @maple

    No, you're not alone and now you've found this community there will always be someone to talk with  :)

    Sorry to hear about your son. It's sad when they hide away isn't it? 

    My son is the same. Social Services have even offered him a male "befriender" to go on outings but he refused. He will only come out once a month for family lunch. 

    Do you have any family that could encourage your son a bit? 
  • maplemaple Member Posts: 5 Courageous
    No family at all other than ex husband who has no interest and is remarried. His twin sister is working hard trying to overcome her problems  I try out all sorts of ideas to go out with him or get him out or get her here, both at the same time. There’s no moving him. The doc keeps saying that he needs to want help. He is in denial or hiding his feelings from as he wants to avoid upsetting me. I really appreciate your comments. Thank you and I hope for good progress for your loved ones. 
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    @maple

    Good morning and nice to hear from you again  :)

    How did your weekend go? We had our monthly family lunch outing yesterday and we've managed to persuade our son to come out again next weekend. 

    We're going to what they call "escape rooms" 
    You get locked in for one hour (not as scary as it sounds unless you've seen the "escape room" horror movie, which I have unfortunately!!!)  :D  :D

    There is intercom and cctv contact with the staff and what you do is look for clues and puzzles which opens boxes and more doors, etc.
    A kind of treasure hunt. 
    If you get stuck, the staff give you hints over the interom.
    It's fun and for any age (I'm nearly 65)

    We all went last year and son really enjoyed it. 
    They even put a chair in for me to sit on which we moved from room to room. 

    It cost £60 for four of us but worth it for an hour of fun and stimulating brains  :D 

    You need at least 4 people so I was thinking if you went with your son and his sister, you only need one more. 

    I think there are escape rooms in most towns now and you pre book and pay on the Internet. 

    Anyway, just an idea  :)
  • emmarenshawemmarenshaw Community champion Posts: 712 Pioneering
    Hello @maple I'm Emma, one of the Community Champions. A warm welcome to the community. 
  • maplemaple Member Posts: 5 Courageous
    Thank you Paffuto10 for your good thought. Keep it up! One day he might agree to something. Hello to Emma and thank you for your warm welcome. 
  • pcoventrypcoventry Member Posts: 149 Pioneering
    @maple

    I am in the opposite boat. I have a 1 yr old daughter and if I live to see her turn 5 I will be very very blessed. I also have a disabled 4yr old boy. 
  • maplemaple Member Posts: 5 Courageous
    @pccoventry
    I am truly sad to hear this. I cannot imagine how hard and painful your life is just now. I often wonder if I am doing right or wrong with conflicting advice eg helping him get mentally well versus “enabling”. He is alive and so am I and his sister so I will continue to be positive and loving. I am here if I can ever be of any use maybe as chatting with or listening. I send you all warmest loving wishes. 
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Scope community team Posts: 7,984 Scope community team
    Hi @maple, I just wanted to check in and see how you and your children are getting on?
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey
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