ASD and Dating

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connoro007
connoro007 Online Community Member Posts: 24 Contributor
edited March 2020 in Relationships
Can anyone give me any advice on dating and relationships when they have autism? I’ve been dating a girl but it seemed to go the way it always go, I tend to develop strong feelings far too quickly then get the classic “let’s be friends”. It’s better than them just disappearing I suppose. The whole dating thing has always made me feel uncomfortable as I don’t particularly do well in crowds/resteraunts/clubs etc. Just hoping someone can give me some advice on meeting someone nice. I’ve been single for almost 4 years, I’ve seen the statistics of people on the spectrum regarding loneliness/relationships and the likes and it’s really hard to maintain faith that I’ll actually find someone. It’s weird because I feel like I’m a really decent person, honest, caring, nice etc yet feeling alone is a common theme. Most of the time I enjoy the solitude but not having someone to do enjoyable things with, talk to and just have fun really hurts 

Comments

  • Megk
    Megk Online Community Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Don't worry about it. Work on being friends first.
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,777 Cerebral Palsy Network
    Hi @connoro007, dating is difficult at the best of times, not to mention unpredictable! 
    @Megk has given great advice and it is something I have used my self as a disabled man. Focus on building a strong friendship is key because:
    1. It allows you to get to know them really well
    2. They can learn about our differences

    Here is some more specific information from Ambitious About Autism

    Please try not to give up!
     
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,754 Online Community Programme Lead
    Hi @connoro007. Have you tried much online dating? I know Richard's linked you to Ambitious About Autism, but I thought I'd chip in as well. I've always struggled in crowded places, such as the pubs, clubs and restaurants you've mentioned and I'm not the best at communicating verbally either. So online dating, or meeting people online through mutual interests has been a godsend for me in terms of making better and longer-lasting connections. 
    As is the key with these things – take things slowly and try not to go into anything with any expectations. Enjoy things as they are and if something else happens, then great! :smile:
  • connoro007
    connoro007 Online Community Member Posts: 24 Contributor
    Thank you for these comments guys.

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