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Help with reaching out to trauma support?

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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Community member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    @Tori_Scope They went away for a week so I have time to think about it. They wouldn't react badly because they're really understanding - one's a pastor and the other is a chaplain support worker at a hospital. I don't really know whether to or not. It's just that I think it would be nice to have someone around me that knows.
    That sounds really hard, it might take a long time to be able to that. I found a specific therapy that I stumbled upon that suits how I think though. It's called internal family systems (IFS) and I feel a bit more positive about therapy using that format and I think my mind is a bit more ready to talk about things now.
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Francis_theythem, thank you for sharing this with us. You should be really proud of yourself for the steps you are taking. I hope today is going well. :)
    Scope

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    Great stuff @Francis_theythem :) As Chloe said, you should feel really proud of yourself. 

    It's totally up to you whether you tell them or not. Don't feel any pressure to, just take your time and see what feels comfortable. You could always wait until you've started therapy, and ask your therapist about how you might approach that conversation. 

    Keep us updated! I hope you get to start therapy soon.
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Community member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    Soooo bad news. My aunt and uncle got their flight put back so now they're going back to australia earlier than expected and it's really soon too - on tuesday :( I'm really upset at the moment, because they're the only two that my subconscious has ever felt safe around after my trauma, seeing as they don't make me dissociate, and now they're just leaving...  I feel like someone's just kicked my stomach. I needed them to stay longer... now the only two that I actually feel safe around are going away
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    Ahh I'm sorry to hear that @Francis_theythem. I can understand why you're upset, especially as it's out of your control.

    Will you be able to stay in touch with them? Perhaps over text, phone calls, or video calls? I know it's not the same, but it'd be great if you could find a way to keep the communication going. 

    Therapy will also help. Not only will you have someone you can feel safe sharing things with, but you'll also be able to work through the feelings about your aunt and uncle leaving that you're currently experiencing. 

    I can see that you've been taking part in the PTSD threat that @male45 started, and it appears as though you've been able to find some comfort on there through relating to other members' experiences. I'd encourage you to share this news on that thread, as some of them might have experienced a similar thing. 

    We're all here to try and help where we can :) 
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Community member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    @Tori_Scope Well...I just spent the afternoon and evening with them before they go tomorrow. It was really sweet and I love them both dearly. We have a family group whatsapp now so I can message them on there. I get the feeling they're not very social media-focused people though so even if I do I don't think I'll get full conversations. I've accepted that they're leaving now, it's just sad and hard. But family is really important to them so they said they'll be back when covid crisis is over, I told my uncle that I'm graduating in two years in our summer and he said that they might come over then which would be really sweet.
    Dissociation wise I kept zoning out sometimes but I was in full control of what I said and actually felt genuine emotion (even if it was sadness) coming from me. This *never* happens with people. I guess that just tells me how much my subconscious feels safe with them.
    I think therapy will take a little while to see someone about because of covid. I've started trying to complete a mental health crisis plan. I'm glad because my aunt and uncle unknowingly helped me be able to develop healthy habits and face things again.
  • RAwarrior
    RAwarrior Community member Posts: 430 Pioneering
    @Francis_theythem

    I’m really glad that your aunt and uncle have helped you and that your subconscious feels safe with them?  

    I am also glad to hear that you have started to complete a mental health crisis plan which is also a very useful idea for other people like myself to consider doing so thank you very much for sharing this?
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Francis_theythem :) 

    I'm glad to hear that your aunt and uncle help you so much. A family WhatsApp group sounds like a wonderful idea, I'd recommend one for any family, it's a good way of keeping in touch :)  

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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    I agree, a Whatsapp group sounds really great @Francis_theythem :) 

    I'm glad you've been able to put together a crisis plan, and that you feel a bit more able to face things again. This is definitely a difficult time, but you've got lots to look forward to and get stuck into.

    Are you back at uni now?
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Community member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    I'm also making a list of positive affirmations. I think I'm just making a folder of mental health things by this point :3 Also I started a memory diary for amnesia that I fill in every evening on One Note which is an awesome microsoft program. By that point I can never remember details though so it's only an outline of what happened and I will have no memory of it whatsoever but at least it'll help me keep track of what happened in the days.
    I had my first physio appointment today to help me with hypermobility and PoTS. It was productive and went well. I have a few exercises to do now to help both of these conditions. My uni classes don't start until early october so a while yet which means I get time to sort my physio exercise routine out.
    Also I get my module results that I submitted in august tomorrow :S
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    edited September 2020
    @Francis_theythem oooh good luck with your results but try not to put too much pressure on yourself over the outcome.  You did your best in difficult circumstances with the pandemic and all so just to submit was fab! 

    I want to start copying your idea of positive affirmations.  Maybe we should do a daily one somewhere on the community  <3
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    The folder sounds great @Francis_theythem :D

    One Note is underrated, and that's a fantastic use for it!

    I'm glad the physio appointment went well :) Being able to get to grips with a routine before uni starts sounds ideal as well. 

    Good luck with your results, let us know how you get on. 

    Nice idea @Cher_Scope.
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Community member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    @Cher_Scope I'll send you a photo of mine once I'm done? It sounds like a wonderful idea to have a place on the forum for that! I think it can help people that didn't even know they needed it. It's a great strategy for combating negative self talk, stigmas and difficulties we get from others.
    @Tori_Scope I've got like 9 exercises so it's finding how much of each one when in the day I can do. When were figuring out which ones would work, it overdid my knees a bit, so they are are feeling fragile and a bit strained because of today :(
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    @Francis_theythem That would be great, thank you  :)  A positive affirmations thread would be a nice addition to our community I agree! I will start one off a bit later today so keep an eye out for it.
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    Yeah, physio is often a bit of trial and error I've found @Francis_theythem. I've had some problems with my knees before- rest rest rest (and speak to your physio about it)!
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Community member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    I have my appointment about dissociation and avoidance stuff tomorrow >< I'm super anxious.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    Deep breaths @Francis_theythem. Bathe yourself in those essential oils if necessary :D

    It'll be alright. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to get everything out there straight away. I imagine they'll just want to find out a bit more about you and the problems you've been facing, and start to put together a little plan for moving forwards. Let them know that you're feeling anxious, and be as honest about things as you can. 

    Let us know how it goes! 
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  • Francis_theythem
    Francis_theythem Community member Posts: 120 Pioneering
    Actually bathing myself would be problematic xP
    Yea I'm going to start with my identity problems and just my symptoms, not any emotional/difficult events. My new seminar tutors name is matthew which was the name of someone really toxic to me during a traumatic time years ago and it looks like a traumatised part associates the name matthew with trauma, so it got triggered and I switched three times during this seminar. So I'm not going into it with a mindframe that I'm just being sensitive and making stuff up, which is good.
    My new housemate is really supportive so I'm lucky to have her. She gave me a hug, gave me advice and said that if it went badly I can go spend time with her in her room so
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
    Morning @Francis_theythem, I hope today goes okay. I'm really glad your housemate was so supportive. You've got this. :)
    Scope

  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,007 Disability Gamechanger
    Hoping all goes well @Francis_theythem & what a great new housemate you have! :)

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