Has anyone else experienced others getting irritated when you say you want to be happy at your job? — Scope | Disability forum

Has anyone else experienced others getting irritated when you say you want to be happy at your job?

SallyH Member Posts: 31 Courageous
I have been a job seeker for a while. Even though I'm employed I've been looking for a good job since I graduated in 2017 with little success due to ADHD (which I recently started getting medicated for) and severe Depression and Anxiety. 

Recently I've been working with Pathways and Support to work to help get me into a much better job and situation (They have been absolutely amazing), and today I spoke with my Pathways advisor about really wanting to feel happy at work. He echoed my beliefs that people should work where they're happy, which felt extremely affirming and assuring. 

However I've come across so many people, including my own parents, who become extremely irritated that I'm being 'Picky' with what sort of work I want to do and apply for. 

Has anyone else come across this at all? Why does wanting to do a job you're happy with seem so 'controversial'? 

I'd love for any insight on this!   

A little background:
I worked in retail for two years and left after I had a breakdown that saw me almost be admitted to a mental health unit (This was the forth breakdown in the same number of months). I am currently working an office admin job that bores me to tears and leaves me with very little mental energy leading to meltdowns. I have a degree in illustration too and wish to work in the creatives fields.


  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,414

    Scope community team

    Gosh, I don't understand that either!  We spend so much of our lives working that it makes sense for us to want to enjoy it.  

    How are you finding looking for a job?  This is such a hard time for the creative industry so I would imagine there's more competition than usual for roles.  I hope something pops up soon that fits the bill.
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,048 Disability Gamechanger
    From leaving school to having to stop work due to my health at the age of 38 I always loved my jobs, if I stopped loving one I would look for another.
    Be kind to newer members
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 4,498 Disability Gamechanger
    edited October 2020
    I think people who find it irritating that others want to only do work which makes them feel happy and fulfilled feel that way because they themselves don’t do such a job. Taken that there are multitudes of people with different ideas of what makes them happy and far less different types of jobs available it’s hard to see how everyone could possibly be satisfied in that way, indeed most people grasp at a job because they need an income, then perhaps they think of how unfulfilling the job is. 

    Ideally we would all be in jobs which make make us feel happy and fulfilled but unfortunately the world isn’t ideal, in my opinion. Of course feeling happy about your work and your contribution to society, ie self validation, is something you can work on over time from a psychological perspective that is. We are more than simply our occupation after all. Some people find this happiness in fulfilling hobbies regardless of their employment.

    Happy new year 🥳 

  • SallyH
    SallyH Member Posts: 31 Courageous
    @Cher_Scope It's been going okay, the advisors are super helpful but as you say there's not many jobs going in the creative industry. We're currently looking at getting more skills on my CV through courses and such and properly delving into the job postings and descriptions. Still holding out for a good one though! 
  • SallyH
    SallyH Member Posts: 31 Courageous
    @leeCal I wish we could live in the perfect world where everyone works in jobs they love. I think the world would be a much better place for it. 
    I can definitely see where you're coming from. I do wish everyone had the freedom to switch or search for jobs they love without the worry of funds drying up. It's sad thinking that many great people may be being held back due to monetary issues. I wonder how far tech and culture would be ahead of us if everyone could afford to follow their passions. 

    There is a true skill to being able to work an unfulfilling job and still be happy by following hobbies and things outside of work. Unfortunately that's not a skill I possess, and I'm very envious of those who do have it.
    I have a very low amount of energy, no matter how much sleep I get or food I eat, I seem to have a small finite amount. So when I come home from work that's basically me done for the day. Anything required of me after that is very lacklustre and feels somewhat like going through a grinder! For my own wellbeing, I don't think the 'working to fund hobbies' job approach is for me annoyingly.
  • SallyH
    SallyH Member Posts: 31 Courageous
    @woodbine That's good! What sort of industry were you in? 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,048 Disability Gamechanger
    SallyH said:
    @woodbine That's good! What sort of industry were you in? 
    I was in tailoring for 7 years then went into greeting card publishing two totally different careers but I enjoyed both.
    Be kind to newer members
  • SallyH
    SallyH Member Posts: 31 Courageous
    @woodbine Tailoring is such a underappreciated craft, I did a section of my dissertation on Men's Tailoring and still it always surprises me how big a difference there is between a non-tailored suit and a well tailored one. 
    Greeting card publishing is interesting too, I think a lot of people forget there's actual people behind the greeting cards they buy!


Need to talk?

Over Christmas the online community might be a little quieter than usual, so if you need urgent emotional support or if you feel like you might be in crisis, please read up about how to stay safe for now and find help.

You can also speak to somebody in confidence by calling Samaritans on 116 123 for free or send an email to
[email protected]

Of course, if you feel like you might be at risk right now, please call 999 or visit your local hospital.