Your 2020 highlights and lowlights: what have you learnt?
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Tori_Scope
Scope Posts: 12,493 Disability Gamechanger
As we move closer towards the end of 2020, we're asking you to share your highlights and lowlights from the past year.
It's certainly been a very challenging time for most people, but hopefully you've all got some positive memories too. Either way, I think we've all learnt some lessons to take forward into 2021 and beyond. Nothing is too big or too small; we want your truthful answers!
I'll start us off with a few. I've been very lucky on the whole, and I recognise that the two lowlights I've chosen are very small compared to what many people have had to endure.
Lowlights
It's certainly been a very challenging time for most people, but hopefully you've all got some positive memories too. Either way, I think we've all learnt some lessons to take forward into 2021 and beyond. Nothing is too big or too small; we want your truthful answers!
I'll start us off with a few. I've been very lucky on the whole, and I recognise that the two lowlights I've chosen are very small compared to what many people have had to endure.
Lowlights
- Spending the first lockdown last summer writing my university dissertation. I was in the house alone, and obviously wasn't able to go to the library or speak with my supervisor. It wasn't very fun
- Not getting a graduation ceremony, or any celebrations. A small one I know, but it would have been nice to say goodbye to friends who moved away, and enjoy my last few months as a student
- Graduating ?
- Joining Scope (of course)
- Moving into my new shared house
- How to be better at keeping in touch with people, as I've had to make more of an effort now I'm not seeing them in person
- The difference between self-comforting and self-care. Sometimes I've needed to 'self-comfort' by spending a day in bed, eating some comfort food, or doing nothing other than binge-watch TV. Other times I've needed to force myself into 'self-care', like taking a shower, cleaning my room, doing a food shop, going to bed earlier, and so on. I didn't really note the difference between them too much before the pandemic, but I find it a useful way of thinking about things now
- A little about what the R number is, how much I hate the word 'unprecedented', and what contact-tracing is
Comments
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Some people are [removed by moderator - use of language], and will not follow rules even if it's to save their own damn lives! I am of course referring to the lack of social distancing that caused the second and third lockdowns (IMO)
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My lowlight (I didn’t know that was a word) has probably been not getting any support as all the clinics I attend had been closed down for much of 2020.My highlight has been being able to drive around in my Motability car for a whole year so far. It doesn’t feel like a year since I took out the lease but it’s been a strange year I guess. I feel really privileged to have been able to have a year’s worth of worry free motoring not having to drive a 15 year old car wondering when the next £500 bill will come up and how I will pay for it. I still have 18 months to go for my PIP award so based on them sending the forms out 6 months early I have another year to appreciate my car and am looking forward to being able to make the best use of it I possibly can. That is not to say in 12 months I will lose the car, hopefully my PIP will be renewed, but I am preparing for the worst.As for what I have learnt, I’ve mentioned this already on the forum, and I might make a separate thread about it at some point, but something I’ve learnt this year is that if you want help from the authorities (whether that is financial help, medical aid or something else) you need to ask robustly for it. My family has always been quiet and has not liked to make a fuss and as a result whenever we have needed help we have been ignored because the authorities knew we wouldn’t do anything. Meanwhile, the loud types who do make a noise and cause a fuss get the help they need. We have vowed that from now on we will do everything we can to get the help we desperately need, not to just go away if we are dismissed the first time, and to keep asking until we get that help.
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My highlight would be the weekend away I had in the summer at my favourite place. Also doing my courses and learning new things
It has also been a bonus having my son at home so much but to the detriment of his education
The low is how little I have seen my family my mum especially just 3 times this year even tho i call her lots it's not the same -
The highlight of my year has to be the birth of my first grandchild in March, just before the first lockdown. Although i was heartbroken because i couldn't be with my daughter for his birth because the rules changed the day she went in. I did manage to see them both before lockdown but then it was 3 months with nothing.Fast forward a few months after Noah was born i was finally able to see them and oh boy, it was the best feeling in the world. He had grown so much but was still so little.He is now 9 months old and just so sweet, nannies little sweetheart i call him. He's started crawling and yes, you need eyes in the back of your head, as well as the sides. Although it's easy to hear him as his hands thump on the floor as he crawls lol.He's standing up and just moves a few steps holding onto the sofa. Calls Nanna and likes to hear his own voice, he's very vocal. He waves when he sees me and that smile of his is just way too adorable for words, not forgetting is red hair!His new thing for this week is to clap his hands, i've been trying to get him to do that for the last couple of months but he would always respond with "holding onto your hands and clapping them" haha funny.He just makes me smile so much and reminds me so much of his mammy when she was his age. Grandchildren really are the most precious little ones ever! I'm sure you can almost see the smile on my face as a type this.The low for me has to be my youngest daughter losing everything she had because of Covid, from her support worker to the cinema and concerts she loved to go to and now she has nothing and she had come so far but now gone 50 steps back!I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
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The lows have been pretty grim, we lost my dad in late January after a long illness, he basically died of a broken heart after losing mum 4 years ago. Also we haven't been able to visit Julies mum in her care home (she has dementia)since March, one outside visit was arranged in August but cancelled at the last minute, we have only seen our daughter and grandson once this year and that has been so very difficult, I've missed them so much I have cried myself to sleep some nights, we did get to see our grandaughter she stayed with us in August for a few days, as for our son we don't know right now where he is, he came to stay in September for one night lied to us and stole from us but thats a whole different story.
We started the year badly when Julie had a nasty accident on January 2nd and she's still not fully recovered from that on top of her other health problems. Some of you may remember I had my own cancer scare which turned out fine, my epilepsy is no better (but also no worse, so pretty bad).
Wow doesn't that sound grim! And to top it all we go into tier 4 tomorrow, but it won't make much difference.
The highs have been few and far between on a personal level, but as a society I think we have learnt alot about our selves this past year, the vast majority in fact I would say probably 95% of us have listened to what we have been asked/told to do, and we have come full circle and been grateful for the people who really are the back bone of this great country, the doctors and nurses and all the NHS staff, the key workers and emergency workers and even the people that work day and night to ensure we have food on our tables and loo roll for the dysentry outbreak that didn't happen
i don't want to get political there is much that is wrong but credit where credit is due I do believe that the govt. have done their best in very difficult circumstances, no they haven't been perfect but they have tried their best.
Finally and thanks for reading so far, I would like to wish you one and all a very happy and healthy new year this is without a shadow of a doubt the best community out there !
As Dave Allen would say "May your God go with you"
John x x x
I have a PS// 2021 will be Julie's 60th birthday and our 40th wedding anniversary, she deserves a medal, she is my anchor in life and the love of my life, so one way or another we will get the holiday next year that we didn't get this year as she really should have the best x2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡 -
@poppy123456 bless you
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@woodbine, sometimes there are no words! After going through all of that, you and Julie have both come out even stronger! I've made some lovely friends since being here on the community and you're one of them!Stay safe my friend! and take care!I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
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What a lovely read this thread is.
My lowlights.
1. Waiting for my husband's spinal injections.
2. Mostly health care delays for my husband yet, we know nothing van be done.
Highlights
1. Learning to play chess. My husband has played for years. During lockdown he taught me how to play. While that could be what I have learnt, it is a lovely thing to share with my husband..
2. Crotchet- completed my tenth blanket.
3. Enjoying the peaceful environment during the first lockdown. Hearing the birds sing and ducks on the road sitting without a care in the world..
Learnings - improved infection control and this is a good learning. As a population, improved infection control helps us all.
Cooking more and eating less ready meals. Blowing the dust from cookery books and enjoying meal planning.
Savings on money, that was spent on coffees and treats.
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This is a great thread @Tori_Scope,
Firstly, I am truly sorry for all of the hurt and disruption Covid-19 has caused to so many people, I am sending you all my best wishes. It doesn't matter whether we think the disruption is minimal, if it is important to you and it causes you to feel emotions then in my eyes it is it of significant importance, hope that makes sense.
Highlights:
-Sir Captain Tom Moore! What an absolute inspiration!
-Clap for our Carers. I agree with you @woodbine the NHS, keyworkers and emergency workers really have been the back bone of our country.
-Making some bold personal decisions and just seeing where the tide takes me so to speak, Life really is precious
-Looking forward to the adventures and opportunities that lay ahead
-Superhero's challenge for Scope
-The volunteering community, and all that they did.
Lowlights:
-My second diagnosis and how poorly was during the first lockdown
-Being told I had to shield as I felt that this meant I was not doing anything for the country. I then spoke to my surgeon who said that by me doing my bit and shielding, it meant that he and his colleagues could do their bit.
-Watching people have a complete disregard for the rules.
I have learnt that it is important to appreciate what a precious gift life is and too make the most of each and every moment. So many have lost so much and my hope is that we move forward a refreshed and more caring society.
Thank you for reading this.
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I'm just catching up with all of your responses now. I'm sorry that so many of you have really been through it this year, but it sounds like you've all had at least a few highs too Thanks to everyone who's shared their experiences so candidly so far!
Hopefully we can all take what we've learnt, both individually and collectively, with us into 2021 and start to rebuild what we've lost. -
My main highlight has to be winning PIP (largely thanks to the help on Scope!)...but the downside was winning it during the pandemic. I honestly believe I'd be in a completely different position now if I'd got the award last year at the first assessment. As yet, it hasn't made any difference to my life or health so far - so I guess I've learnt that just having money in the bank isn't useful! You need the ability to use that money, and use it wisely, in order to benefit from it.
Another highlight has been finding a few new local parks and scenic driving routes since the first lockdown ended. I was really struggling with the agoraphobia by that point but felt lucky to find quite a few open green spaces around that I'd either heard of but never been, or never even knew existed previously.
There have been several lowlights for me, my health conditions have worsened drastically over the course of this year and not all due to the pandemic. I was just about managing at the beginning of the year but now there are so many things I can't do any more. I'm trying to remain positive and hope that I may eventually be able to do some of those again but I know it will take several months after the end of the pandemic, if it happens at all. A more suitable property and more suitable car will also hopefully help with that, though it's going to be difficult to do both of those things initially.
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I feel like I've had quite a few 'lowlights' - not seeing my son & daughter nearly as much as usual has been the worst. Then my daughter-in-law lost her 62 year old Uncle to Covid-19 in the summer, & we lost our elderly tenant to the same in November. A dear friend just stopped emailing at the end of October. The last one was my best friend's 6 year old dog was diagnosed with lymphoma, & might just have a few weeks left.My personal highlights have been small, but appreciated.....getting taken to a garden centre by my son & daughter-in-law for my birthday after not being away from the house for 5 months, & getting a lovely haircut (much needed) 2 months later. My best friend texted just after midnight (so this trickles into this year) to say his dog's swollen lymph glands have gone down. I'd sent him some CBD drops & a supplement & the vet had put him on steroids, so something's helping!What I have learnt - how much people matter; the ones you love, good friends, & last but certainly not least, I learn from being here in the community, &, as I've said before, getting to know you all a little better has been a pleasure.
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Highlights of last year were winning a Bronze medal at the online Lincolnshire Taekwondo Championships last June, and also my Club did an online competition last November and I won a Bronze there as well.
If there's any comps going this year that aren't too far away I'd like to attend in person and try and win something, hopefully there'll be Lincolnshire again in June or the World Championships at the NEC whenever.
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Lowlights
Had corona virus and was very poorly
Lost my job
Stopped from driving
Had to wait for my operation
Not seeing my family
Spent most of it in lockdown
Still in lockdown
Hi lights
Recoverd from corona virus
Had my eye operation
Came on scope discussion group
Made new friends
Had a better Xmas than expected
Glad I live in the village I live in
Things I have learnt
This year has been a difficult year for everyone I have learnt not to take things for granted or take family for granted I have learnt to speak to my family every day wether it be by talking on the phobe or texting to value friendships and to look out for people in my community I have learnt this year aswel that however bad life has been for me this year I am alive I have a home I have what I need I have family and friends which is slot more than most people
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Sorry slot of prople not most
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