Relationship issues
Options
coylygirl
Community member Posts: 283 Pioneering
I have just discovered that my partner of 2 years has been cheating on me online. We're in lockdown together so this has been taking place under my nose. I am angry, hacked off and feel like a fool for being taken advantage of. My problem is that at the moment I am financially dependent on him and he owes me a substantial amount of money. He doesn't know that I know, but I don't know how long I can keep this under my hat. I am in full fight or flight mode right now - pounding heart, red face and stomach in knots. HELP
Comments
-
@coylygirl sorry to here that especially in lock down
When you say your financially dependent on him in what way does he work or claim benefits for you
You can get benefits in your own name if you decide to leave him
Have you got anywhere else to go or do you think you can work through this
You can get help from shelter if you need somewhere to live or you can speak to citizen advice
Do you have a disability, you gavent said very much so that's all I can suggest at the moment
Others will reply -
Hi there
I am sorry to hear this and can empathise with you been there done that
If you want to end the relationship dont let the financial reliance stop you there are always alternatives
Try not to do anything on impulse as you will be hurt and angry at present and this may cloud your judgement
Do you feel you can approach him about this ? And I am presuming he hasn't cheated physically though it's still no excuse
Always someone here to chat you.will get through this -
I am in debt - due to partner - and need him to pay me some back before I can kick him into touch. It's my house, so I have no accommodation issues, fortunately. I have bipolar and I'm feeling a bit manic at the moment
-
You can sort out the debt dont let that stop you
You can arrange an affordable repayment plan
I'm not being harsh here but will you actually get the money back he owes you? You could again set up a signed agreement
Dont give him any more money
If you are feeling unable to cope and it is affecting your bipolar please contact your gp
Do you have any family or friends to help support you or just talk to -
@coylygirl do you have a mental health worker that you can speak to
You could speak to scope on the phone for advice @janer1967 may know of other places that can help you I have tagged them so hopefuly reply soon -
Thank you all so much for your replies and support x
-
Hi @coylygirl Welcome to the community. I'm very sorry to hear that you're in such a difficult situation at the moment, and it's totally understandable that you'd be feeling stressed about it.
We're sending you an email from community@scope.org.uk, so please do keep an eye out for it and let us know if there's anything more we can do to help. -
So sorry to hear that you rely on him financially. There is help available. I would advise speaking to the council if you are considering leaving him or even the social work department if you have bipolar and no where to live in the future. I have been in a similar situation in the past and the council do help if they can do. I have personality disorder
-
@kami24 its her own house so housing is ok which is a blessing
-
@Tori_Scope thank you its an awful position to be in
-
Thanks folks, hanging on in there x
-
@coylygirl hope things get better for you soon
-
Thank you. Speaking to the bank tomorrow so fingers crossed x
-
Fingers crossed for you hang on in there
-
Thank you so much x
-
I know what it is like and how you must be feeling so anytime you want a chat just reach out
-
Thank you, will likely take you up on that x
-
hi @coylygirl from a male perspective I would say soon as you sort the money side out kick him out, lifes too short to have people in it you can't trust, but as above if you need to chat heres as good a place as any.2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡
-
Thank you woodbine, I have lost the trust and no second chances x
-
...and in the meantime clean the dogs bum with his toothbrush....
Best wishes.
My opinions are my own and
do not necessarily represent the scope website...
Brightness
Categories
- All Categories
- 13K Start here and say hello!
- 6.6K Coffee lounge
- 69 Games lounge
- 385 Cost of living
- 4.3K Disability rights and campaigning
- 1.9K Research and opportunities
- 199 Community updates
- 9.2K Talk about your situation
- 2.1K Children, parents, and families
- 1.6K Work and employment
- 768 Education
- 1.7K Housing and independent living
- 1.4K Aids, adaptations, and equipment
- 586 Dating, sex, and relationships
- 363 Exercise and accessible facilities
- 737 Transport and travel
- 31.6K Talk about money
- 4.4K Benefits and financial support
- 5.2K Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
- 17.1K PIP, DLA, and AA
- 4.9K Universal Credit (UC)
- 6.2K Talk about your impairment
- 1.8K Cerebral palsy
- 869 Chronic pain and pain management
- 180 Physical and neurological impairments
- 1.1K Autism and neurodiversity
- 1.2K Mental health and wellbeing
- 317 Sensory impairments
- 818 Rare, invisible, and undiagnosed conditions