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13 Year old needs help for mother

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  • Carl_abc
    Carl_abc Community member Posts: 11 Connected
    @amira768

    It's not often I comment on other people's posts, I usually just listen ?

    However, I wanted to tell you that I think what you are doing is amazing, and I would be a very proud parent if my children turned out to be like you, you have wisdom beyond your years, and you are stronger than many adults I know.

    Although your mom may not always tell you, she will appreciate every single thing you do for your family - and I'm sure she'd struggle without you, you're the glue that keeps your family together, and don't let anyone tell you different.

    FYI - I'm 27 with 2 small children, suffering the same as your mom, and couldn't do it without my loving partner. It took me 7 years to get diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Hypermobility, and I've received nothing other than painkillers and (pointless for me) Physiotherapy.

    It's daunting but your mom should keep on at her Doctor until she gets some answers, or at least some help to get through the day in pain, as I do.

    Keep your head up, and stay strong, you're an amazing daughter to your mom.
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    Carl_abc said:
    @amira768

    It's not often I comment on other people's posts, I usually just listen ?

    However, I wanted to tell you that I think what you are doing is amazing, and I would be a very proud parent if my children turned out to be like you, you have wisdom beyond your years, and you are stronger than many adults I know.

    Although your mom may not always tell you, she will appreciate every single thing you do for your family - and I'm sure she'd struggle without you, you're the glue that keeps your family together, and don't let anyone tell you different.

    FYI - I'm 27 with 2 small children, suffering the same as your mom, and couldn't do it without my loving partner. It took me 7 years to get diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Hypermobility, and I've received nothing other than painkillers and (pointless for me) Physiotherapy.

    It's daunting but your mom should keep on at her Doctor until she gets some answers, or at least some help to get through the day in pain, as I do.

    Keep your head up, and stay strong, you're an amazing daughter to your mom.
    Hi there. Thank you so much, what a nice comment. You seem lovely. I appreciate it. It sucks reading your story, 7 years is a long time. If this whole thing has taught me anything it is that the medical world is not as reliable as it seems. Contrary to what I earlier thought, doctors aren't magical fairies with healing powers, I learned that the hard way. But there are also doctors that are simply lazy and don't look into cases further simply because they don't care, which leads to people being diagnosed so late. I think thats the case with my mom. There is a big flaw in the medical world, sadly. I hope you may be able to receive better treatment in the future, even though it may seem hopeless right now. Are you doing okay in these times? For a lot of people with chronic pain this pandemic sucks (including my mom, she hates it. All she wants is a vacation to finally see the sun again. The Netherlands can be pretty gray and boring). I hope that you, your partner and kids are doing well. Stay safe. <3
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    @amira768 hi hows it going with you how did your test go in school that you said about  are you still with your nan or have you gone back with your mum 

    Hope your ok and doing well 

    Take care ?
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    @amira768 hi hows it going with you how did your test go in school that you said about  are you still with your nan or have you gone back with your mum 

    Hope your ok and doing well 

    Take care ?
    Hi. Thank you for your message <3 I did the test, and it went great! I am now back with my mom, and im doing fine. How about you? Everything alright?
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    @amira768 I am good thank you hope your doing OK hope your mum is feeling better 

    Glad that your test went well  
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    @amira768 I am good thank you hope your doing OK hope your mum is feeling better 

    Glad that your test went well  
    thank you very much!
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    edited March 2021
    Today is a bad day again. I haven't told you all this, but I am living with a narcissistic little brother. Whenever my mom wants to feel good, he ruins it. He is holding my mom back from getting better. Today was a beautiful morning. I made breakfast for my mom, and the weather is great. 
    My mom felt good, she wanted to put on music and dance. My mom and I wanted to go to a park together. Now here's the thing, my little brother's phone is broken, so he uses my moms. My mom wanted her phone back to put on music and dance. All good, right? Nope. 
    My lil brother is spoiled, and he started screaming because he wanted the phone back. He had an anger blast. Morning ruined. Now, we tried searching for a phone, and we found one but he was so ungrateful, he said things like "buy the (Removed by moderator, profanity) phone" 
     and he was being overall ungrateful. When I wanted to buy the new phone for him, I asked for the laptop and he threw it at me. As if I am supposed to do things for him while he treats me and my mom like (Removed by moderator, profanity). He is so unbelievably spoiled, its crazy. Actually, if I was his mom, I wouldn't even have bought a new phone for him after screaming and being ungrateful. He needs to be disciplined. My mom is spoiling him, but its because she is too weak to deal with him. It's not her fault.  My whole day is ruined and I dont know what to do. 
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    It was also my birthday the 14th of march, and I was sick so I didn't do anything. But my birthday is the least of my worries right now. Im just trying to get rid of the anger and frustration inside of me.
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    @amira768 sorry your going through this you need to try and get some help it must be realy hard 
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    @amira768 sorry your going through this you need to try and get some help it must be realy hard 
    Thank you for your comment. I am doing better now. I will try to get help
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    @amira768 I hope you do its to much for you to deal with it on your own 
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    @amira768 I hope you do its to much for you to deal with it on your own 
    yeah its hard, but im making progress
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,007 Disability Gamechanger
    It's good to hear from you @amira768 - what progress have you made in getting support? How are you? Are you getting support for yourself, as you have had so much to deal with? Is your Mum doing any better, & is your brother still a pain? :)
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    @amira768 glad to hear your makeing progress hope all your other problems with your brother have got better and that your mum is copeing better now 
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    chiarieds said:
    It's good to hear from you @amira768 - what progress have you made in getting support? How are you? Are you getting support for yourself, as you have had so much to deal with? Is your Mum doing any better, & is your brother still a pain? :)
    I havent gotten any support from other people, id rather keep this to myself. But we have cleaned up the house and threw away/sold excess stuff such as clothing etc. this is a big step for my mom. She always wanted to do this, its been her dream. But she always was too sick to do it. So I helped her. Maybe im going to sell some stuff on my own as well so that I can earn some money, so I can go out with my friends this summer. I cant work because im just 14 years old. I dont want to ask my mom for money since she is too sick to work. I think my moms pain got worse, I dont really know. Im too afraid to ask. But ill try to keep my head up.

     My brother is a really kind but insecure guy. Our relationship improved and the more I look at him the more I see that he is just broken. He didnt do anything wrong and he didnt deserve this life. He didnt choose to be born with a syndrome. Ill be a bit kinder to him from now on. He really sees me as his big sister, his main influence. Ill try to set a positive example.

    School is really hard, there is another testweek coming up. I havent studied but ill pass the year anyway so I dont really care. 

    If this posts sounds a bit too depressing, dont worry. Today is just a bad day, it will pass like always. Schools are probably opening up again, so I think that when I see my friends again ill feel a bit better
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    @amira768 glad to hear your makeing progress hope all your other problems with your brother have got better and that your mum is copeing better now 
    Thank you so so so much. Your support means the world to me
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,007 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @amira768 - it seems like you've made progress in significantly helping your Mum with sorting the house out. I can understand you wanting to keep things to yourself; I feel I would be the same. However, if you do need help, don't ever be wary or afraid of asking, or talk to your Grandma, as I'm sure she would listen.
    I'm sorry you feel perhaps your Mum's pain is worse, but can understand it's difficult to talk about such stuff, as you just have to keep on doing the best that you can do, which you are doing.
    I'm pleased you have a better understanding of your brother, & feel perhaps you've earned more respect from him. Is it OK to ask what syndrome he has?
    Please don't stop caring about your schoolwork, though I appreciate you may have let your studies slide as you were helping your family. I'm sure you will feel a lot better when you see your friends again.....this has been an awful year with the pandemic for everyone, but I think really bad for young people; I don't know how I would have coped.
  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    chiarieds said:
    Hi @amira768 - it seems like you've made progress in significantly helping your Mum with sorting the house out. I can understand you wanting to keep things to yourself; I feel I would be the same. However, if you do need help, don't ever be wary or afraid of asking, or talk to your Grandma, as I'm sure she would listen.
    I'm sorry you feel perhaps your Mum's pain is worse, but can understand it's difficult to talk about such stuff, as you just have to keep on doing the best that you can do, which you are doing.
    I'm pleased you have a better understanding of your brother, & feel perhaps you've earned more respect from him. Is it OK to ask what syndrome he has?
    Please don't stop caring about your schoolwork, though I appreciate you may have let your studies slide as you were helping your family. I'm sure you will feel a lot better when you see your friends again.....this has been an awful year with the pandemic for everyone, but I think really bad for young people; I don't know how I would have coped.
    I actually dont know what syndrome he has, I dont know the name. Long name, very rare. But when I looked up his syndrome I saw really bad cases, but his case isnt that bad thankfully. He is perfectly healthy, just really bad eyesight and bad hearing. He also looks a little bit different from others.
    I dont think that I want to talk to someone about this. I dont like talking about my feelings to friends. It comes off as attention seeking and I dont see the point in doing it. I dont like affection like my other friends do. I dont like to be comforted when im crying, id rather just be left alone. I absolutely hate attention. But im actually a very social person! I can have great conversations with strangers, and I like doing it too. Im not shy at all, more introverted.

    I am just really not a affectionate person. I never told my friends or family that I love them, only when im in the mood for it. I dont like compliments either. I dont see the point in telling anyone in real life how I feel. There is no way they could possibly help me. Online is anonymous so I kinda like this. 

    I am a really cold looking person, everyone always calls me bitchy and rude. Maybe because I dont show affection a lot. Dont worry, I am not a narcissist. I actually have a heart, I really care about my mom and brother. (Mentally) disabled people are my weak spot, too. I want to cry whenever I see someone like that because i feel so bad for them and I recognize their situation all too well. I hope that I can work with troubled and disabled children in the future. I really want to help them.

    I find it so frustrating that even though I tried opening up to my friends several times, they still never take my matters seriously. And then they start talking about themselves again.
    I find it frustrating that they cant recognize my emotions, they always mistake my emotions for being rude and cold. I already created this reputation for myself. Which is why I want to look for other friends, outside of school. But I dont know where I can find those. Maybe ill join some online communities. 

    Ill try to not let school down too. Its important.
    As you said everyone is hopeless and this year sucks. Lets just hope that this storm will pass eventually.
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @amira768

    Thanks for the update and I'm glad to hear you're making progress. 

    Working with disabled children is a great aspiration to have and I'm sure you'll be able to achieve that one day. Your friends don't seem like the most understanding bunch at this moment in time, you're always welcome to post on this community if you ever need to ask anything, and our inbox is always open at community@scope.org.uk if you want a chat.

    You don't seem like a rude person at all to me, you've been nothing but lovely on this community and I have nothing but admiration for what you are doing, and how you are handling what you're going through.
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  • amira768
    amira768 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
    Hello @amira768

    Thanks for the update and I'm glad to hear you're making progress. 

    Working with disabled children is a great aspiration to have and I'm sure you'll be able to achieve that one day. Your friends don't seem like the most understanding bunch at this moment in time, you're always welcome to post on this community if you ever need to ask anything, and our inbox is always open at community@scope.org.uk if you want a chat.

    You don't seem like a rude person at all to me, you've been nothing but lovely on this community and I have nothing but admiration for what you are doing, and how you are handling what you're going through.
    thank you very much. I think ill stay on this community for a while

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