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Do you talk to your neighbours?

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  • BunnyBabs
    BunnyBabs Community member Posts: 13 Connected
    Thankyou from your support,It means a lot...I'm hoping One day  there will be a massive ceremony and I shall recieve a medal of bravery 4 living nxt door to...Well ,youknowwho !!
    I bunderstand...that minefield...Ifeel when our anxieties are tweaked all this "Greetings from my Planet " starts carving out our uniqueness from the norm !!.
    I hope at least some of what I've just said makes sense !!
    "Keep on keeping on."..(That's something to say to them !!
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Community member Posts: 2,585 Disability Gamechanger
    66Mustang said:
    Why can't you repeat what they said, is that an OCD thing or is it just something you don't think you should do? I my be wrong myself but my thinking is if someone said something a bit complex like "good afternoon, lovely day" and you said the exact same thing it might come across as a bit weird but if it's just "hi", "hi" I don't think that's a big issue.

    I just thought it seems a bit weird or like you're mocking them a bit.  Probably over-thinking it though! 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 13,367 Disability Gamechanger
    66Mustang said:
    Why can't you repeat what they said, is that an OCD thing or is it just something you don't think you should do? I my be wrong myself but my thinking is if someone said something a bit complex like "good afternoon, lovely day" and you said the exact same thing it might come across as a bit weird but if it's just "hi", "hi" I don't think that's a big issue.

    I just thought it seems a bit weird or like you're mocking them a bit.  Probably over-thinking it though! 
    I've seen people do it and don't think it's weird unless like I say it's a more complex sentence, then you could get into a situation like this!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kazCgOpzHKs
  • MarkM88
    MarkM88 Community member Posts: 3,127 Connected
    I’ll say hello and alright. 

    I keep myself to myself and that’s the way I have always been. 

    I don’t know if that comes across as ignorant to others but it’s just not my style. 
  • Pixie51
    Pixie51 Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    We live in a hamlet so our neighbours are in view but we don't pass each other as such. We chat now and then and exchange pleasantries and we would certainly help out any of the hamlet inhabitants in times of trouble or need and have. But I guess it's more the society we live in now that there isn't that sense of community in a lot of places now. People move a lot more, I am one of them, and so there isn't that familial knowledge or having grown up locally thing in common. It is a shame, although I am quite a shy person so find small talk face to face or on the telephone difficult, but will always try a smile!!

    Pix  :) (my smile!)
    Yoga heals the soul ??
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    I feel bad that we've never spoken to ours since moving here 6 months ago. It's mainly due to us both being shy people. 

    I have a question, how long can you leave it until introducing yourself to someone becomes odd? Is it acceptable after a year? :D 
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  • vikingqueen
    vikingqueen Scope Member Posts: 1,410 Disability Gamechanger
         Across the road from me lives a man that went out to work at the exact time I did, every morning I said the obligatory "Good Morning" and every morning I was ignored. I tried for at least 20 years but to no avail.. There's nowt as strange as folk.  :/
  • Pixie51
    Pixie51 Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    @Ross_Scope I think lots of people feel the same way so introducing yourself at anytime can help them too! 
    Yoga heals the soul ??
  • BunnyBabs
    BunnyBabs Community member Posts: 13 Connected
    It's funny that, there are actually some nieghbourhoods where they're all like that !!
    Haha! I used to blame it on the War..
    Some people are very contrite,and you know..maybe emotionally stifled.
    That old saying "you cant choose your nieghbours..
  • davet
    davet Community member Posts: 77 Courageous
    having moved a considerable number of times with work, I have experienced both good and bad neighbours I was born and raised in yorkshire and had always found myself with good neighbours always friendly and ready to chat and help, impromptu bbq's , visits to the pub invites to parties etc, as a child mum and dad would often'pop' into neighbours homes and vice versa and as I grew up I thought this was the norm I have always found it easy to talk to people and make friends, I have however found through experience that the general make up of those living in the area will determine what type of neighbours you will have for instance we moved to what could have been called a bit of a select neighbourhood when I was in my late 30's and working as a general manager for a manufacturing and distribution company and found that our neighbours were made up largely of what could be described as 'yuppies' in their mid to late 20's 2 of which owned their own companies there was a solicitor an accountant, a vet with his own practise, a bank manager all of whichwere constantly trying to out do each other, it was quite amusing to watch, if one of them got something new such as a new burglar alarm, within a month they all had new burglar alarms, we felt very excluded from day one, and the only interaction we had was the curtsory 'good morning'e.t.c. yet another move we had put us in the middle of a family, next door one way were the parents, the other side was a daughter and her family,almost directly opposite was another daughter and her family all of which were very friendly. the strangest was when we moved to a village in cambridgeshire, we patronised the local pub  shop and market went to all the fete'syet initially despite our attempts to make friends we felt we were being ignored, which we simply put down to village mentality eventually however our close neighbours began to interact with us followed by others and we eventually began to feel accepted although a few were still a little stand offish. after about 10 years we had to move again because of my  work and I got chatting with my next door neighbour about people being reticent to interact with us and he simply said we had to remember even after 10 years we are still 'the new people'
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 13,367 Disability Gamechanger
    Very interesting post @davet thanks for sharing your experiences


  • BunnyBabs
    BunnyBabs Community member Posts: 13 Connected
    Yep ,That was truly interesting ,It's
    Nice to have an online community such as this to be able to share our thoughts.& experiences..I love programmes that show us communities from around the globe..They all seem to have strong feelings of "belonging"..It really is a blessing when you've got nice neighbours..It was one of the most profound Christain beliefs "Love thy neighbour.."Well if your not hating them,thats good egnough..but that true sense of belonging has evaded me 4 a long time.. 
    I witnessed a terrible feud once when my old neighbours took a dislike to new neighbours...it had an awfully tragic ending..I felt quite helpless..They used to scheme and spy and deploy tactics to hurt and upset each others lifes...Court case after court case, It was thier whole lifes..,reporting scandulous lies about each other..I mean WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT...??It truly was like WW3..I'd go out to water the Roses,and they'd be like "hold me back " straining at the leash !!waiting to rip into each other...What can we do Ay ?? Keep shining,stay safe
  • Padraig
    Padraig Community member Posts: 66 Courageous
    I live in a small cul de sac of eight houses backing onto nature reserve and four on each side facing each other over car park and then the road in. We all have secluded back gardens. We are a little community! Some have been there 15 years some ten some five. We have seen eacothers children grow up and move on, looked. After each others pets and sadly seen some depart. We used to put our wheelie bins across the dive to make a safe playground for the kids. They were all wee back then now there all late teens. We’re not just neighbours but friends too, maybe not best friends but friends never the less. Apart from one guy on the end who gets very angry and rude, I’m afraid he has mental health issues. Anyway one day a couple of us laid down the law to him after a couple of outbursts not a peep in five years, keeps to himself, lives on end so can just come and go. The rest of us are two couples, two single guys and four single women all in the fifty up bracket now! With eight late teen kids six live away or come and go and two still live at home with mum. All work apart from me and one lady, three disabled including me we have, my other half an icu nurse, a hairdresser, a gardener, a computer guy, a cleaner, a handyman, a care assistant, and a special needs school driver. Both myself and my neighbour have Fybromygelia and I have diabeties, spinal problems, RLS and peripheral neuropathy. We all get on well and know eacothers business without being intrusive. The postie and delivery drivers all know I’m always in and I’ve become a mini sorting office for all and neighbourhood watch. We see lots of eacothers in summer especially when kids were young not so much in winter. We surprisingly never have issues with parking as there is enough and we just block eacothers in if need be. There is always somone to ask for a hand or to listen to a little moan! I think we are very lucky that we get on, one lady I was at the same school as and our kids went to a different school together, Maintenance men are let in for each other, money, cars and booze borrowed!  and hellos always turn into long chats were extremely lucky. I know people who have lived next door to each other don’t know each others names, avoid eye contact and don’t even say hello. What made it work is the kids growing up together, the way the houses are positioned and that people are friendly not nosey. If my bedroom curtains don’t open they know I’m having a bad day and leave me alone but might ask my wife how I’m doing. It’s magic, only living in a village in Ireland can I compare it, except everyone there was nosey even with binoculars! Lol. Life’s to short hust say hello what’s their to lose and everything to gain
  • csno01
    csno01 Community member Posts: 387 Pioneering
    What an interesting topic.

    I am shy too and despite this, I always say hello to my neighbours. It makes me feel good about myself. I find if you have a bit more to say, it sometimes helps to have it cued up ready. I appreciate that, this does not always work though.
     Of course, you are going to get the odd time when, you approach your neighbour and they do not want to talk, for whatever reason.

    CSno01
  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Community member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,396 Pioneering
    This is a great thread @66Mustang I think that it is respectful to exchange pleasantries where possible. We used to with our neighbours but now we don't. I think as long as your respectful of one another people should be able to live side by side, it gets tricky when the respect is not there. Thank you. 
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    WestHam06 said:
    This is a great thread @66Mustang I think that it is respectful to exchange pleasantries where possible. We used to with our neighbours but now we don't. I think as long as your respectful of one another people should be able to live side by side, it gets tricky when the respect is not there. Thank you. 
    Totally agree with this. I don't think there needs to be a deep relationship there, of course it's great if you have that but as long as there's mutual respect then things should be okay
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  • Dragonslayer
    Dragonslayer Community member Posts: 2,165 Pioneering
    When I moved to where I am now, all the neighbours talked to and helped each other, Now a great deal have moved on and it's just hello now and then with the new ones. I hardly know who lives around me anymore. but I always try to be friendly to whoever I see around.
    Back in the day, everyone talked and we had a real community, people moved from one house to another and everyone knew each other's business. Nowadays people seem to keep to themselves. We really do live in boxes, or so it seems. 
  • BunnyBabs
    BunnyBabs Community member Posts: 13 Connected
    Yep, I sense that too , It seems like we're harping on about the good old days..;but we used to know everyone in our street...and they used to join together for many things..Now ,It's a bit unnerving to not know who your neighbours are,and they may not meet eye to eye on many things..I was uprooted about 12yrs ago...and have never felt settled since.

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