Not feeling so well today

cupcake88
cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
in Coffee lounge
Hi every one could really do with some support from my friends on here . As most of you know I suffer with mental illnesses . Most of you know how amazing and supportive my partner is he’s so amazing . 

He’s gone away for a few nights with his friends he was worried bout leaving me on my own but I convinced him to go he works so hard full time and also looks after me , he deserves to have a fun time with his friends . 

I’m not technically on my own I have my little dog to keep me company .  But since my partner left this morning to go on his trip I have been feeling so anxious I’m really bad at night time when I’m on my own so my nurse has arranged for the crisis team to call me while my partner is away on a night time . And I have my diazepan that I’m only allowed to take when I’m really anxious .

he will be back in a few days I thought I would be ok but he’s been gone a couple of hours and already I’m dreading the night time . He had to change his work shifts to all earlys because I’m not good on a night time . Like I said he deserves a break away but I’m missing him so much and my anxiety is so bad I keep thinking to my self how I was before my disability I was so Independent and look at me now scared of my own shadow , 
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Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    Hi there 

    You know we are all here for you 

    Just look at what an amazing achievement this will be for you and how proud you will be and your partner 
  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing
    edited July 2021
    Not long ago I met and spoke with Terry Waite who during hostage negotiations in the Middle East was himself taken hostage and spent five years chained to a radiator in solitary confinement. During those years he was often tortured and feared for his life. I asked him what kept him from losing it during his incarceration and he replied that the one thought which helped him was the thought that right now I’m fine.

    i too have used this thought and it has helped me over the years to keep my cool when having highly anxious thoughts, so I knew exactly what he meant. I look around me and I can see that right now, right here, I’m fine. It’s a serious tool for well being if you use it with conviction.

    best wishes @cupcake88 ?
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    @janer1967 @woodbine

    thanks so much for your support and kind words . Thanks for being such good friends . 

    It will be such a achievement for me and I will be proud of my self . 

    I really hope my partner has a good time and doesn’t worry bout me to much . 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    @leeCal
    thanks lee for sharing that with us that’s very inspiring. And thank you for your words of advice I keep trying to tell my self I’m ok but it’s so hard .  
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,168 Championing
    Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well.

    I find it hard to be left alone at home for too long as well especially at night. I agree with @janer1967 that it will be a big achievement so keep thinking about that.

    Something that helps me is to watch comedy on TV or YouTube as it takes my mind away from the negative thinking and distracts me a bit.

    @leeCal thanks for sharing that, an interesting story. :)
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    @cupcake88 hope you start feeling better soon x
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    How was last night @cupcake88? As the others have said, we're all here rooting for you :)

    I can completely imagine that having your partner leave for a couple of nights would be a big deal, so it's not anything to feel ashamed about. 

    Definitely try and keep yourself occupied and centred as mentioned above if you can. Have you been watching anything good on TV?

    I'm really glad that you have the support of the crisis team too, and that you have access to medication if you need it. 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    @66Mustang  @lisathomas50
    @woodbine @Tori_Scope

    hi every one thanks for checking on me and seeing if I’m ok I have such good friends on this forum , 

    I had to call the crisis team a few times threw the night and then a nice nurse from my community team called me to see if I was ok today . And she’s arranged for the crisis team to call me tonight and over the weekend till my partner comes home . 

    My partner is having such a good time he keeps asking how iam so I’m like I’m fine lol but he knows me to well he knows I’m always anxious especially at night . But he’s really proud of me and I’m proud of my self even tho I’m struggling on my own I’m still proud of my self . 

    And thanks so much for all your support and kind words . 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    Glad you got through the night well done 

    Was getting worried about you 

    I sent you a pm earlier 

    If you got through the first night you have got this 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,168 Championing
    Well done getting through the first night. The rest are hopefully going to be easier now.

    It sounds like you have great support from your partner and from the crisis team and of course there is the opportunity to have a chat on here as well.

    I often wake up several times in the night but tend not to come on here at night time, but I will pop in and see if you are about :)
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    @janer1967 and @66Mustang

    thats very kind of you both thanks so much for all your support means so much to me , I hope I’m ok tonight . He’s back Sunday so not to long now . 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    I don't go to bed till about 1am so will check if you are about so message anytime 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    Thanks so much every one x
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Online Community Member Posts: 8,736 Championing
    @cupcake88
    Hi sorry just saw this chat, I hope your already asleep now.
    And well done for getting through last night your stronger than you think.

    Take care ❤️
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,168 Championing
    Just checking in, I hope you are OK so far, or even better asleep! You are doing well :smiley:
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    Hope things are going OK for you @cupcake88 thinking of you x
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    Can’t believe how many kind messages I have had  thanks for thinking of me . I started getting really anxious and was starting to hear voices but I called the crisis team straight away . My partner is back tomorrow I have missed him so much . 

    I’m really proud of my self even tho I haven’t coped well . And I want to thank each and every one of you for your support it means so much to me xx 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    I think you have coped well @cupcake88- and it's definitely something to be proud of! I'm glad our members could be there for you. I hope you have a lovely reunion with your partner today :) Do you have anything planned, or are you just going to chill together? 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,414 Trailblazing
    My partner said thank you to you all for being a massive support to me while he’s been gone thanks so much . 

    @Tori_Scope  he won’t be back till later on tonight but he has a few day’s off . So we are planning on going to a theme park while he’s off work I have a special disability pass for all the Merlin theme parks so we don’t have to que which is really good x 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,468 Championing
    That sounds fun @cupcake88 :) 

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