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Disabled parking bay issue outside school

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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,624 Disability Gamechanger
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    Until we moved 10 years ago we lived in a cul-de-sac that had a primary school at the end of it, daily we would see parents arrive at around 2p.m so they could park as near the school gates as possible, what made it even worse was the fact that we knew some of them lived on the small estate, parking around schools is a joke, i'm not sure how you solve your problem unless the school can "police" the parking spaces?
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,938 Scope online community team
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    Hello @MrsMwa.
    This sounds like a frustrating situation for all involved. My first thought is that perhaps the school could look at better ways of accommodating all of you? Are there other spaces within which they could allow you (or the other parents) to park? 

    I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed, but if you're unsure why the other parents turn up so early, it could turn out your frustration is perhaps directed at the wrong thing. As mentioned by others, they could have a perfectly valid reason for turning up so early. 
    A slightly different situation, but my daughter attends an activity once a week and the only way for her to attend is if she knows I'm sat outside in the car, waiting. I don't particularly enjoy sitting in a freezing car park for two and half hours every week and to other people it may seem selfish that I'm occupying a parking spot for so long with no real 'need', but to us, it's a necessity.

    We also faced similar challenges juggling the school run after my middle child had surgery some months ago. Despite picking them up early each day, we'd still have to turn up around an hour before to ensure we could access a spot close enough to the school. Unfortunately even then it was hit-and-miss as to whether we'd get anywhere because other parents would face similar challenges and turn up early to ensure they had a space suitable for their needs too. 

    I completely share your frustration, but perhaps the solution here is to take some time to speak with the other parents about why they arrive so early, or even explain your situation. You might find they are equally frustrated. I would also keep on at the school and see what provisions or suggestions they can make.
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  • Libby_Alumni
    Libby_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,251 Pioneering
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    MrsMwa said:
    @Username_removed
    Thank you for your message. I was in a very very bad place when I last posted and felt hurt by your comment but I am in a better place and I get it even though my child's brain injury and other complex needs feel all consuming I am not the only one having it tough. 
    I actually had both parents explain that they turn up early because they hate driving around and around for parking they actually apologised as they could see I was upset the other day. I am not a rude or confrontational person just a person struggling to navigate this complex life I have been thrust into but I take all points on board… thanks
    merry christmas to u & yours 
    Hi @MrsMwa,      

    Thank you for updating us all and I'm glad that you're in a more positive space with things at the moment. We all go through rough patches, and our emotions can fluctuate too, so I understand completely why at that point, you might have felt more frustrated/helpless. 

    I'm really happy for you that you got to speak to the other parents and gain an insight into their experiences too. Sometimes it just takes communication between different people to sort out a solution for the problem/challenge :) have you managed to secure a permanent space outside the school now?

    I understand that when dealing with accessibility it can be frustrating and emotionally draining, but please remember to be kind to yourself, because it sounds like you're doing an amazing job at navigating everything. Merry Christmas to you too and I hope you have a wonderful new year :)    

    Libby  
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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,938 Scope online community team
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    I'm glad to see you back @MrsMwa. Hopefully the other parents will give you more space and be more accommodating now they understand your situation and how difficult their actions have made things for you. 

    It sounds as though the time off with your kids has been very good for you all. Are you off much over Christmas?

    I'm sorry to read your family don't seem to understand what you're going through. It sounds as though you could benefit from a more understanding support network. Would it help you to find groups in your area to maybe connect with other parents in your situation? 
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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,938 Scope online community team
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    I'm really glad your youngest is sleeping better for you @MrsMwa. I know first-hand how difficult a prolonged lack of sleep can make things and always feel more able to tackle the day when I've managed a little more. Fingers crossed it continues.
    MrsMwa said:
    e.g maybe if I spoke clearer then my non verbal child would learn to talk or if we exposed our child to busy family gatherings (we have big families) then they would stop being sensitive to loud sounds or not become over stimulated by busy environments. Or if i took my pre-natals my child would not be disabled
    We've faced very similar comments and not just through family or friends, but also from schools and even some medical professionals. It's difficult. The comments hurt and sometimes you do end up questioning yourself, too. But it sounds like you are doing an amazing job with your children and not only recognising their needs but actively supporting them. Don't lose sight of that. 
    Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas and fantastic start to 2022.
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