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Disabled parking bay issue outside school

MrsMwa Member Posts: 13 Connected
My son who has very complex medical & cognitive needs attends a mainstream school part time. He finishes school 1hour 15minutes earlier than the other children yet day after day when collecting him I find both disabled bays occupied by parents also with blue badges who turn up at least 90mins early to collect their children despite clearly seeing my child is the only child who finishes school early. I nearly broke down in tears today as i could not park because I am told by admin that these parents are turning up sometimes 2 hours early for school pick up. I was fuming but rather than get into it with any of the parents logged my complaint to the admin staff who fully sympathised with me and said they would flag the issue to the head teacher. I sent one of the mums who I know a message later to apologise for not engaging with her earlier as I was angry and tired but that I was livid regarding the ongoing parking issue but thanked her for eventually allowing me to park (she eventually moved her car forward to grant me space with two mins to spare for me to collect my child). She ignored the message which is laughable as I did not need to thank her why is she arriving 2 hours early for a school pick up when only my child finishes early from school (school confirmed they collect much later). *Sigh* . Am I wrong to be annoyed?


  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,655 Disability Gamechanger
    Until we moved 10 years ago we lived in a cul-de-sac that had a primary school at the end of it, daily we would see parents arrive at around 2p.m so they could park as near the school gates as possible, what made it even worse was the fact that we knew some of them lived on the small estate, parking around schools is a joke, i'm not sure how you solve your problem unless the school can "police" the parking spaces?
    I am a person with epilepsy not an epileptic, my illness doesn't define me.
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,817 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 25
    If someone is entitled to use an accessible parking space then they’re entitled. If you don’t like when they use it then it’s time to ask the question and maybe walk a mile in their shoes. No-one randomly turns up early for no reason. 

    Without going into detail I have come across this exact situation. Perfect storm of a parent who realised that other parents could use the space legitimately and who had severe anxiety. That was allied to a child with complex issues who believed their parent was actually outside waiting all day and would have freaked out had they realised they were not. In the morning they were on the other side of the school but after lunch they were on the front side so the parent had to be there. 

    Going to war with the parents of other children with perhaps complex needs is not the solution here. The solution is discussion and understanding and compromise.

    There is a separate discussion to be had about whether the school can make other parking provision available.
  • MrsMwa
    MrsMwa Member Posts: 13 Connected
    The point I am making is it does not matter about entitlement to use the space my child finishes school early for a reason by law they should be in school full time but are not medically fit to do so. If my pick up is earlier i need to be there earlier not of choice but necessity having a blue badge does not mean people can stop being courteous to one another but hey think im on the wrong forum so il move on. 
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,817 Disability Gamechanger
    Your point is absolutely valid but right now what Mayes you think that the other people don’t have equally valid reasons for their actions. 

    The real problem is shortage of spaces not other people. You’re not on the wrong forum but you are approaching the matter in a way which will not get you the solution you seek. Moving to another forum where everyone nods their head and agrees how stupid, inconsiderate and selfish other parents are will temporarily make you feel justified and self-righteous but, again, won’t solve it. 

    You need to decide whether you want people to agree with you or a solution. 
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,180

    Scope community team

    Hello @MrsMwa.
    This sounds like a frustrating situation for all involved. My first thought is that perhaps the school could look at better ways of accommodating all of you? Are there other spaces within which they could allow you (or the other parents) to park? 

    I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed, but if you're unsure why the other parents turn up so early, it could turn out your frustration is perhaps directed at the wrong thing. As mentioned by others, they could have a perfectly valid reason for turning up so early. 
    A slightly different situation, but my daughter attends an activity once a week and the only way for her to attend is if she knows I'm sat outside in the car, waiting. I don't particularly enjoy sitting in a freezing car park for two and half hours every week and to other people it may seem selfish that I'm occupying a parking spot for so long with no real 'need', but to us, it's a necessity.

    We also faced similar challenges juggling the school run after my middle child had surgery some months ago. Despite picking them up early each day, we'd still have to turn up around an hour before to ensure we could access a spot close enough to the school. Unfortunately even then it was hit-and-miss as to whether we'd get anywhere because other parents would face similar challenges and turn up early to ensure they had a space suitable for their needs too. 

    I completely share your frustration, but perhaps the solution here is to take some time to speak with the other parents about why they arrive so early, or even explain your situation. You might find they are equally frustrated. I would also keep on at the school and see what provisions or suggestions they can make.
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  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,413 Pioneering
    Hi @MrsMwa I think you did the right thing in thanking one of the parents who moved their car up to make space for you. It means they will probably do the same again if they can. I know from previous posts that you have several challenges in your life right now and that you are very tired. You can come on the site any time to ask questions, make comments or rant whenever you feel the need to. Fingers crossed your husband gets a job soon. Take care.  
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,413 Pioneering
    Hi @MrsMwa How are you doing? I hope thing are improving for you. Please post and let me know how you are. Take care.


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