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Understanding my fit on the spectrum

briancharles5612
briancharles5612 Community member Posts: 58 Connected

I’ve spent quite a bit of time talking about my son and how the world is going to be for him. I suppose it’s time I talked about myself.


Looking back there’s a lot that happened that didn’t make sense at the time. When I was younger I was terrified of Drs and needles to the point where I would lash out as a child. I had be restrained at times to be knocked out for ops etc. This caused me shame looking back. To this day any form of Invasion worries me. I get claustrophobic with scans and unless I know exactly what’s going on I do get worried.


I realise that is the same in my personal life. I struggle massively if I don’t know something inside and out. I always try to be the best I can be at work. Maybe I have to be the best as If I don’t have that knowledge I’m not comfortable. Anything I don’t understand causes confusion or distress. 


I can get very overwhelmed at times and get told off for being too stressed by family and my ex wife. 


I have a new place now where I live with my son (I look after him full time as a single parent). I know where everything is or roughly where it should be and I’m happy with that. If I’m someplace new it’s hard as if I don’t know where things are it just makes things a bit tougher.


Looking back I’ve realised I’ve coped or masked most of my life. 


Have some of you got adult diagnosis and are you parents? How did it make you feel and what were your worries before?

My biggest concern is if I ever got diagnosed whether I can be seen as unfit as a parent. The world is moving on, but not enough I think.

Comments

  • briancharles5612
    briancharles5612 Community member Posts: 58 Connected
    Don’t know if there’s a bug on this or not, but someone put a really good answer here and can’t see it now 
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,821 Scope online community team

    Hello @briancharles5612. It may be that the poster asked for it to be removed.

    I'm sorry no one else has been able to answer your questions so far.

    I know quite a few people who received an adult diagnosis of autism or ADHD. The majority of them had children going through the assessment process and as they learned more about the two, they started piecing together that they also might be on the spectrum.

    I can't say how you might feel personally, but I know some have found a diagnosis has made it easier to be kind to themselves, to accept themselves, and understand that it's okay to make adjustments or try workarounds. I suppose the question I would ask myself if I was in your situation, is what is my reason for wanting a diagnosis? What do I think it will do for me?


    The National Autistic Society has some information about pursuing a diagnosis as an adult and lists some of the benefits such as:

    • It may help you (and your family, partner, employer, colleagues and friends) to understand why you may experience certain difficulties and what you can do about them.
    • It may correct a previous misdiagnosis (such as schizophrenia) and mean that any mental health problems can be better addressed.
    • It may help you to get access to appropriate services and benefits.
    • You will be entitled to have reasonable adjustments made by your employer, college or university.
    • It may help women, and those with a demand avoidant profile, who may not before have been recognised as autistic by others.
    • You don't need to be diagnosed to join our online community or subscribe to the Spectrum or Your Autism magazine, but you might need a diagnosis to join some social groups. 
    • Although you don’t need to be diagnosed to have self-belief, some autistic people welcome the diagnosis as a way of making sense of their life experiences and being able to identify with other autistic people. 


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