My friend said I’m a fake

dp267p
dp267p Online Community Member Posts: 69 Connected
in PIP, DLA, ADP & AA
Hi

One of my friends said I’m a fake for claiming PIP. 

He said how can you say you need prompting encouraging to wash/bathe, get dressed, help manage your budgets, engage socially etc

he said anyone can say they need prompting when they have depression and anxiety to wash and dress. 

Comments

  • Cartini
    Cartini Online Community Member Posts: 1,107 Trailblazing
    dp267p said:
    Hi

    One of my friends said I’m a fake for claiming PIP. 

    He said how can you say you need prompting encouraging to wash/bathe, get dressed, help manage your budgets, engage socially etc

    he said anyone can say they need prompting when they have depression and anxiety to wash and dress. 

    I would have responded with an expression that starts and ends with the letter foxtrot.
  • Cartini
    Cartini Online Community Member Posts: 1,107 Trailblazing
    woodbine said:
    Doesn't sound like much of a friend to be honest

    I have always avoided telling anyone what benefits we are getting to avoid being judged.
    Likewise.  I was recently privvy to conversation where a work colleague was moaning about people having mobility cars and benefits that go with it.  I just looked at him and thought ignorant "pregnant goldfish".

  • Cartini
    Cartini Online Community Member Posts: 1,107 Trailblazing
    Rubie30106 said:
    we've done nothing wrong and yet we feel ashamed.
    Never feel ashamed, I`m not and don`t.

  • dp267p
    dp267p Online Community Member Posts: 69 Connected
    They also said I’m a fraud because nobody even courages me to shower and dress anyway. It’s not like I have a support worker. 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,471 Championing
    That must have been really upsetting @dp267p :( These views often come from a place of ignorance or misunderstanding, which isn't helped by the media rhetoric that people who claim benefits are 'scroungers' or 'lazy' and so on, which obviously isn't the case. 

    It's not your responsibility, but would you feel able to have an open discussion with your friend about the reality of the challenges you face, and how their comment made you feel?
  • dp267p
    dp267p Online Community Member Posts: 69 Connected
    So should I not be claiming because I don’t brush my teeth and shower regularly. 
  • nasturtium
    nasturtium Online Community Member Posts: 390 Empowering
    Hello dp276p

    Does your friend live with you and see you 24 hours a day 7 days a week? If the answer is No then you can completely ignore that person. That person is not your friend to say something like that to you.

    Kind Regards
    Nasturtium
  • nasturtium
    nasturtium Online Community Member Posts: 390 Empowering
    Cartini said:

    I would have responded with an expression that starts and ends with the letter foxtrot.

    Foxtrot Oscar ;)
  • bg844
    bg844 Online Community Member Posts: 3,928 Championing
    Never feel ashamed, I`m not and don`t.
    This is spot on. 
    Nobody at all knows you and what goes on in your life, only yourself.

    @dp267p My only advise is that you should make a new friend.
  • Cartini
    Cartini Online Community Member Posts: 1,107 Trailblazing
    nasturtium said:
    Cartini said:

    I would have responded with an expression that starts and ends with the letter foxtrot.

    Foxtrot Oscar ;)

    ;)
  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing
    @dp267p We give meaning to our lives and life to others words, without a listener another’s words are simply noise. 
  • dp267p
    dp267p Online Community Member Posts: 69 Connected
    Thanks guys 
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,921 Championing
    You are welcome @dp267p. It is the very least you deserve. How are you doing today? I hope you are well but if we can do anything to help, please don't hesitate to let us know, we are all here for you  :)
  • Lawny
    Lawny Online Community Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Your friend sounds delightful. Is it Piers
    Morgan? 
    On a serious note, your friend needs to go forth and multiply.
    You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone and normally people with this attitude can’t be shifted. Some people just lack empathy. 
    Hope you are having good days.

  • wilko
    wilko Online Community Member Posts: 2,438 Championing
    I was talking with a person about benefits ect and she said but you don’t look disabled riding my mobility scooter. My reply was you don’t look ignorant but you are. We left both of us happy with a better understanding of my disability discernment of information can be an educational journey for the uninformed.
  • Binky1234
    Binky1234 Online Community Member Posts: 478 Empowering
    Don't doubt yourself and imo your friend was wrong to say this to you. You have an illness and have been given an award according to your needs so hold your  head up high  and well done.


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