My friend said I’m a fake

dp267p

Hi

One of my friends said I’m a fake for claiming PIP. 

He said how can you say you need prompting encouraging to wash/bathe, get dressed, help manage your budgets, engage socially etc

he said anyone can say they need prompting when they have depression and anxiety to wash and dress. 

woodbine

Doesn't sound like much of a friend to be honest

I have always avoided telling anyone what benefits we are getting to avoid being judged.

Cartini

dp267p said:

Hi

One of my friends said I’m a fake for claiming PIP. 

He said how can you say you need prompting encouraging to wash/bathe, get dressed, help manage your budgets, engage socially etc

he said anyone can say they need prompting when they have depression and anxiety to wash and dress. 

I would have responded with an expression that starts and ends with the letter foxtrot.

Cartini

woodbine said:

Doesn't sound like much of a friend to be honest

I have always avoided telling anyone what benefits we are getting to avoid being judged.

Likewise.  I was recently privvy to conversation where a work colleague was moaning about people having mobility cars and benefits that go with it.  I just looked at him and thought ignorant "pregnant goldfish".

Cartini

Rubie30106 said:

we've done nothing wrong and yet we feel ashamed.

Never feel ashamed, I`m not and don`t.

dp267p

They also said I’m a fraud because nobody even courages me to shower and dress anyway. It’s not like I have a support worker. 

Tori_Scope

That must have been really upsetting @dp267p These views often come from a place of ignorance or misunderstanding, which isn't helped by the media rhetoric that people who claim benefits are 'scroungers' or 'lazy' and so on, which obviously isn't the case. 

It's not your responsibility, but would you feel able to have an open discussion with your friend about the reality of the challenges you face, and how their comment made you feel?

woodbine

Rubie30106 said:

woodbine said:

Doesn't sound like much of a friend to be honest

I have always avoided telling anyone what benefits we are getting to avoid being judged.

Hi @w@woodbine isn't it sad though that we have to avoid saying anything so that we are not judged, we've done nothing wrong and yet we feel ashamed.

If I'm honest I don't feel ashamed, I just don't see it as anyone else business.

dp267p

So should I not be claiming because I don’t brush my teeth and shower regularly. 

nasturtium

Hello dp276p

Does your friend live with you and see you 24 hours a day 7 days a week? If the answer is No then you can completely ignore that person. That person is not your friend to say something like that to you.

Kind Regards

Nasturtium

nasturtium

Cartini said:

I would have responded with an expression that starts and ends with the letter foxtrot.

Foxtrot Oscar

bg844

Never feel ashamed, I`m not and don`t.

This is spot on. 

Nobody at all knows you and what goes on in your life, only yourself.

@dp267p My only advise is that you should make a new friend.

Cartini

nasturtium said:

Cartini said:

I would have responded with an expression that starts and ends with the letter foxtrot.

Foxtrot Oscar

leeCal

@dp267p We give meaning to our lives and life to others words, without a listener another’s words are simply noise. 

dp267p

Thanks guys 

L_Volunteer

You are welcome @dp267p. It is the very least you deserve. How are you doing today? I hope you are well but if we can do anything to help, please don't hesitate to let us know, we are all here for you 

Lawny

Your friend sounds delightful. Is it Piers
Morgan? 

On a serious note, your friend needs to go forth and multiply.
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone and normally people with this attitude can’t be shifted. Some people just lack empathy. 

Hope you are having good days.

wilko

I was talking with a person about benefits ect and she said but you don’t look disabled riding my mobility scooter. My reply was you don’t look ignorant but you are. We left both of us happy with a better understanding of my disability discernment of information can be an educational journey for the uninformed.

Binky1234

Don't doubt yourself and imo your friend was wrong to say this to you. You have an illness and have been given an award according to your needs so hold your  head up high  and well done.