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Disability and having and caring for a child

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12345
12345 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
in Children, parents, and families
Has anyone found their disability has stopped them from having and caring for a child?
I have M.E so am limited as to how much I can do by exhaustion.
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  • Kimmy87
    Kimmy87 Community member Posts: 332 Pioneering
    edited December 2023
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    Yes, ME is one of my conditions there is absolutely no way I could meet the needs of a child. 

    I know my own health and I've seen enough from my friends and relatives raising children to know this.

    One had twins. Another a baby who NEVER slept during the day. Another two small children who have a condition requiring emergency hospital stays and lots of visits to outpatients. 

    My estimate is I'd end up bedbound within a few weeks needing care myself, once a baby had been born.

    I mean I've recently concluded most of the time I'm medically unfit to drive! So have given up looking to learn.

    I went through a 10 day period of vastly increased activity a few months ago, because it was necessary not because I was particularly capable. Towards the end it was SO hard to keep going. The fatigue was horrendous. IBS kept flaring because I was eating out of my routine. 

    Had the situation not ended when it did I would have had to stop. Even though there was no one else able to help my parent. 

    It took my ME and pain levels 6 weeks to recover back to normal and I was doing less activity during that time. 
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  • carbow32
    carbow32 Community member Posts: 115 Pioneering
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    I brought up 2 children on top of a psychiatric condition.  It has been extremely challenging.  Also it attracted attention from Children's Services and they just added to the stress rather than helped.  I was constantly paranoid about the state of the house and their random visits.  They didn't have the resources to genuinely help.

    However they have turned into lovely young people and I have done my upmost best.  I wouldn't change them for the world and would do it all again.
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,801 Disability Gamechanger
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    Becoming and being a parent is never easy be we 100% fit and well or disabled, my eldest is almost 40 and still a worry on a daily basis.
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

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  • 12345
    12345 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
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    I struggled to find an understanding partner as you can't see M.E, Ptsd and a head injury. People only see you when rested up. They didnt understand thyroid medication for energy. They saw it as a bad thing to be on medication at a young age.
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  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,912 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @12345

    Welcome to the community! :) Can I ask, do you have a specialist for your M.E that you can speak to? I have IBD and felt the same reservations about having children and raising them. My specialist was able to put me in touch with a local IBD group who have been such a support. I thought that may know of one for you locally for M.E? 
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • 12345
    12345 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    edited December 2023
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    I have been through the M.E specialist clinic several times. There isn't a cure yet as not enough research into it. All the clinic can suggest to manage is rest. Ive been with a local support group which arnt able to help me.   
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  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,912 Disability Gamechanger
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    Sorry to hear they were not able to help you. I do hope you find more support here in the community :) 
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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