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coping with an uncertain future

Peterneil
Peterneil Community member Posts: 2 Listener
I have joined this community as I am based in South West London and am the father of a 7 year old child with global developmental delay. He is a very happy little boy but sometimes I feel very concerned about what the future holds in store for him. He has two older siblings (18 and 21) who love him dearly but I do not want them to feel responsible for him. His mother (my wife) suffers from a debilitating mental health illness and is often not part of his life. He is now beggining to notice her absences. This adds to my concerns. Mostly day to day life is fine but sometimes the uncertainty surrounding his future (I am 55) does make me anxious and sad. I am wondering how other parents in this situation cope with these feelings? I often make the mstake of comparing how he and his life is at the age of 7 compared to that of his 21 year old brother when he was 7. These are real bitter sweet comparisons and I know that I shouldn't go there....

Comments

  • Geo08
    Geo08 Community member Posts: 49 Courageous
    Hi @Peterneil

    First off I would say don't be concerned that you are having negative thoughts or worrying about your son's future. It shows that you care and that you're a great father.

    Have you had any contact with social services to look at the possibility of getting a direct payment or something similar which could help secure care and support in the future? 

    I can tell you from experience of growing up having a disability that things are getting better and who knows where we'll be in another 10 or 15 years time. I'm optimistic that the future is brighter and I would try not to worry (although when people tell me not to worry it often isn't very helpful I know). 
  • Peterneil
    Peterneil Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi. That is very kind of you to write so quickly and positively. I should engage more with social services as it is partly not knowing what kind of provision and support that may be available in the future which causes me concern. 
    Thanks again for posting. It is appreciated. 

Brightness