How do you feel normal with people without aspergers? - Page 3 — Scope | Disability forum
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How do you feel normal with people without aspergers?

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  • Kathy_Bramley
    Kathy_Bramley Community member Posts: 140 Pioneering
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    Don't know what to say to that, lol. Being isolated has positive and negative sides, and I tend to be quite avoidant myself. Controlling myself and being fair to myself and others is quite an issue, don't want to seem silly or offensive or be unethical, here and elsewhere! 

    I don't literally diagnose people, I can't anyway. That does indeed require proscribed position and expertise. Like I say, often at some point I hear that people have been diagnosed and that makes sense relative to our connection, other examples share qualities I am able to acknowledge in a fuzzy way as similar. There's not simply a dichotomy of diagnosed or undiagnosable, especially as I am without diagnosis myself but many credible sources including professionals in the field have repeated that suggestion. I have had psychiatrists disagree and refuse to refer me but I debate with that in myself as to the reasons why. 
    Autistic mother (they/them) not Autism Mom
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  • Kathy_Bramley
    Kathy_Bramley Community member Posts: 140 Pioneering
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    My son's diagnoses adds weight but these are all layers of technical and nontechnical language over the reality of a person. We're not our taxonomy, although it's a close relationship perceptually. 
    Autistic mother (they/them) not Autism Mom
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  • davidj49
    davidj49 Community member Posts: 63 Courageous
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    Hi Kathy

    You wrote....I find I have much better conversations with people who are on the spectrum. 
    I wondered  how you know they are on the Autism Spectrum? Did they tell you?Was it on their shirts? Badge?

    I don't follow you,
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  • Kathy_Bramley
    Kathy_Bramley Community member Posts: 140 Pioneering
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    I am feeling frustrated. I thought I explicitly told you the answer to that in the last post. I am not sure if that's a trick question or rhetorical question? I literally cant tell if you need an answer or patience, and whether you're being pointed and funny with me?
    Autistic mother (they/them) not Autism Mom
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  • davidj49
    davidj49 Community member Posts: 63 Courageous
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    I simply asked how you know if someone is also on the Autism Spectrum.
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  • Kathy_Bramley
    Kathy_Bramley Community member Posts: 140 Pioneering
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    They told me, mostly. Do you want to know about the other times?  Sometimes I had a connection or saw things that made sense in terms of Aspergers criteria. But talking about T-shirts sounds funny, like you're casting a lot of wider nonspecific doubt on what I have been doing thus far? But this might all be symptoms of Aspergers type conversation. I often find that there's a pattern. Difficulty and connection in similar ways, although very individual to a person. If I know for definite it's only because they've told me.

    In my vulnerability, it may not have been our intention but I felt attacked like old school bullying and sarcasm by your line of questioning from the beginning I inexplicity asked to be reassured with validation or likewise admit and end the game: questions aren't simple, context affects how we interpret them, and  I am sensitive on my perception and communication skills and I already tried. 
    Autistic mother (they/them) not Autism Mom
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  • davidj49
    davidj49 Community member Posts: 63 Courageous
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    I can relate to you too, I react strongly to simple words, and I can't help it, yet even my own parents and sister never understood my personality, I feel alone at 49, and I spend my time reminiscing about what could have been.

    So far I never chatted to an Autistic person in real life,  they never made it clear whether they are Autistic or not. I can't diagnose someone, but have had suspicions about certain people..famous or someone I met.
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  • lonewarrior
    lonewarrior Community member Posts: 23 Connected
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    Hi Kathy I have really enjoyed reading your posts. I think what you say is much the way I feel, I am still trying to be myself as I only recently found out about ASD I feel strongly I am autistic as for all my life I have tried to be what I perceive as fitting the other persons expectations, Maybe there is some confusion between you and David? The feeling of that"connection" with someone I see as being rare! In my mind if they exhibit traits like me then in my mind they could be autistic? 
    I am struggling right now to explain my thoughts and feelings but I know when I meet someone unique, it is as though I and they are joined mentally. Words aren't necessary it's just a look. A bit like having known them forever.
    most other people I see appear to be on a preprogrammed route, I always watch as they go about there predestined lives. Fascinating but bizarre to me.
     
    Anyway loving everyone here and hope you continue to talk as it has helped me tremendously. (I just realised I actually wrote something as me and not the person I have always pretended to be) the "loving everyone" bit lol. Brian.
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