Depression

It started 3 years ago our dog died suddenly through miss diagnosis then having no sleep well if lucky 2 hours a night having to lift 25 stone bloke off chair to then toilet on floor for 14 days before I shouted enough made ambulance take him in or I kill him turned out was sepsis 10 weeks without him then dreaded him coming home been home 2 years won't lift a finger I'm expected to clean cook shop dress him go shopping for his dad us my mum and dad walk dogs his dad got arthritis who when do shop got go again for him extra twice a week mum has vertigo got take doctors 3x week dad aggression with dementia I'm expected get up at 6 am to do whole house shop clean etc go bed midnight then sleep from 3 am to 6am

Got in touch with GP social prescriber got InTouch with care package they came out looked at me and hubby turned round and said to me well your fat enough to do him and everyone else we not going to help

So to me it's ok to ask do these things but realistically they are not interested in me and told me I need to buck up do it myself I said well I'm in depression they the care people said well u let it it happen deal with it

Was the social services from the hospital told me it's my job to dress his legs down meds our doctors useless only the social prescriber brilliant she been helping a lot she told me my wi best group I'm waiting to have total knee replacement and got osteoarthritis in both my feet my day is

5am shower dress do housework he gets up at 11 am I do his toast get him dressed he does his insulin and tabs goes in front room sits plays on phone watch TV while I butter his toast so his drinks then more house work till 1 pm then do his lunch bearing in mind I don't have time to eat breakfast or lunch after feeding him finish off in home then outside garden do that my first drink of the day is 2 pm after garden till 4 in doors do tea my first food of the day wash up put washing in then drive to mums catch up at 6pm then home with dogs at 8pm sort out wash for tumble dryer then sorted out for tomorrow chores do supper as well then get to watch TV at 10 pm till midnight bed 1 pm then again up early I also got fit in doctors runs and shopping only time i get myself is Tuesday afternoon from 2-4 pm if wi has things going on in mornings then im not to go in constant pain with foot oh if i take my painkillers he will moan at me for sleeping so not to have them or if I do then I have to stay awake if he wakes me up for drink then i cant get to bed till 3 am which in total i get 2 hours sleep so at the moment i dont have time to be in depression and he has to have my painkillers if he catches me he gives me the look as if i took his items

Yes think so to just so exhausted with wi we have coffee morning craft in afternoon Ive been given job doing sales tables but the morning I can't possibly do he said as I get care allowance I need to earn it he said so I can't do morning till my work is done

Yes he said I'm paid to do everything for him he gets up sits in chair all day I keep screaming at him to do something he always says your paid to do it oh not doing a good job either

Cant walk far if had to I'm mobility scooter as waiting for total knee replacement got osteoarthritis in both feet very painful with him at home doing nothing I have to do shop sort mum out with docs get dad to hospital appointments his dad shopping etc I do knitting but I'm up and down every 5 mins for him when he came out of hospital I was promised a care package as was in depression still am they looked at me said how much do I weigh I said 14 15 stone I'm a size 20 they all said well you can lift 27 stone bloke out of chair I said wot about his ulcers they said well you can deal with them surely I said do wot they both said well your fat enough to lift him your big enough to clean him up and I said I can't drive far they said well your problem not ours by time I get up after 3 hours sleep I have to do things quietly while he sleeps in by time he gets up I've missed breakfast and lunch well today he had a go at me for not wanting toast I thought to have cereal so to keep him happy I've dumped cereal to have bread he so forgets everything that he making me forgets stuff when I remember wot he said he said I did not say it Im not even allowed to say can't if I do he shouts at me for calling him a c..t then I go off and have a cry he hears me then phones up his dad saying I'm a crybaby and to my mum telling her things which is not true she has a go at me he says truth hurts don't it sure he doing this deliberately to me getting to stage where I can't do this anymore really feel like I shouldn't be here he has said he be happy without me

Thank you just wish he do something I'm at breaking point only just finished doing house work now I'm exhausted won't now go to bed till he says so be lucky if get 3 hours sleep

Hes now binned all my medication asked him where they are he said down loo as don't need them any more he taken my painkillers away he said there mine you need to know wot pain is like I have a locked knee my knee cap is 25% to the left upwards imagine a penguin walk knee bent one straight

If a parent goes for dementia test and the results come back before 1 to 1 then they ring up and asks for the partner to attend does that mean that they have found something people says yes sone says no please I need to know