Cluttering pragmatic disorder Aspergers anxiety differential/comorbidity and family issues

Hi. I feel like any kind of assessment and/or therapy is potentially opening a can of worms now as it's been our experience at times, but my communication difficulties can be quite frustrating, especially mixed with indications of some ability, and I think it impacts on my ability to parent children with their own mix of disability and ability and emotional hang ups. I doubt this is a consultation, and editing and collating something like that takes a lot of effort and I lose the thread of my sentences and become unclear often so I don't know whether to go into a full history, but I have my reasons for thinking about all the diagnoses/areas/concerns in the subject heading. I don't know what to do about next steps. Family therapy might be as effective as individual assessment but then maybe not, some combined expertise might be best but I imagine that's quite specialist and likely to be private and/or charitable. I would need to convince my defensive state hubby of anything and being involved or expensive seems like a tricky sell. The likes of Dyscovery and BIBIC I have mixed feelings about. At one stage some years ago I was in email contact with Peter Kissagliss about cluttering and whether it could be made worse by anxiety or just caused by it. I'm kind of obsessively interested in difference, politically and practically and emotionally stirring the pot so I am patchily researched and understand neurodiversity meta spectrum as well as specifity of individual syndrome and criteria, and some of the complexity, sharp lines and overlap that are to be outlined behind that pertinently, often. My mum stutters, I've been assessed for SpLDs in the past, high IQ with massive difference between verbal and non verbal, and the ed psych never got back to me to say why it wasn't dyspraxia despite looking like it ticked the boxes at the time. I think she was thinking about another diagnoses maybe, these days. It was a long time ago and she's not in service, retired now I think. I don't know how important her notes would be. She saw me for other things, behaviour issues and underachieving in secondary. I was assessed for developmental delay and hearing issues and so on at primary school, without going any further or seeming conclusive either way. In normal range, but I had difficulties, academic, social, problem solving/practical physical and emotional such that I wasn't. Still the case, though some aspects improved or changed. I stammered early on, but now pause, talk fast, tangentially or circumstantially and linking words, and context, are a problem often coming in half cocked or with hanging and derailed sentences, but I am not necessarily the worst in my family. I'd love to understand the slight differences in the way we do things in a way that's positive though I don't know if that's possible, I need to manage my expectations and manage myself. Limbo isn't helping but it's difficult to see what else I can do. I sometimes find speech and language reporting to be hard to handle, medically pejorative and harsh sounding. Maybe that's just me, but that's rather the point. Why is dyslexia hard to spell; why is assessment so hard to swallow? If you can get it.